PRAYERS ON SHALOM BAYIT FOR WOMEN
In keeping with Rabbi Berland’s instructions to translate a minimum of 10 prayers a week into English, we are continuing our new series of prayers, this time for Shalom Bayit.
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Master of the world, who can do (66) anything (50), grant me (87) to be (451) the most (35) righteous (209) woman (311) in the generation (512) = 1721.
And open for me the gates (580) of holiness (420). And may I merit to be with my husband in love (13) companionship (26) and friendship (682) = 1721.
And may we merit, my husband and I, to be an example (84) for generations (646) and may I merit to be “a young woman (325) of beautiful (22) appearance (246)” = 1721, like Sarah (505), Rivka (307), Rachel (238) and Leah (36), until I merit that there is fulfilled in my sons, “the smallest (464) will be (30) for a thousand (141)” = 1721.
And may I merit to bring the complete redemption to the nation of Israel, in the blink of an eye.
Amen, Netzach, Selah, Va’ed.
Master of the world, who can do anything, and from whom nothing is withheld.
Grant me to be “a woman of valor the crown of her husband”, fitting to be the altar for elevation offerings and the altar for incense offerings, on which a fire is constantly burning.
She is the fiery flame in the heart of her holy husband who learns Torah day and night.
And may I fulfill my tasks with Emunah, which is the reason I was created, to always prepare for him a healthy and satisfying breakfast before he goes to Yeshiva, and lunch, and always a thirst-quenching, healthy and satisfying drink when he comes back from Yeshiva.
And to always prepare in advance his breakfast and lunch so that he won’t need to wait and be delayed even for one second, G-d forbid.
And all my interest and thoughts will be always how to make breakfast and lunch for him in advance, and may I merit always to wash the laundry immediately, and to fold them and arrange them and place them in the cupboards in an exemplary manner.
And may I merit that in our home there will be an abundance of clothes which can be changed every time my husband goes to the mikva.
And may I merit, myself, to perform all the work in the house, with all the effort and all the strength and with all the fervor and with all the enthusiasm, because my husband and I, we are really one unit, just one soul and one body, without any separation.
And all my thoughts day and night will be to get up early with zeal and with lightning alacrity to serve my husband, who is in essence really the neshamah of my own body and my soul.
Master of the world filled with mercy, who can do anything and from whom nothing is withheld.
Make me “a woman of valor who can find”, to be a good woman with lots of patience.
And may I merit to rise together with my husband higher and higher, to do Your will with a complete heart.
And may I merit to be a helper and to be useful, until I rise to the level of the holy Matriarchs, Sarah, Rivka, Rachel and Leah and the level of the prophetesses Miriam and Devorah.
And may I merit to be attached to You 24 hours, and to do everything for the sake of Heaven, so that Your name will be sanctified in this world through me, and through my husband.
And may I merit to bring into the world the souls of true Tzadikim, and amongst them the soul of Moshiach the son of David.
And in the merit of this may we merit the complete redemption speedily in our days, Amen.
Master of the world, please help me to love my husband with a love from the soul, with all my nefesh, ruach, neshamah, chayah and yechidah [levels of my soul].
And may I know faithfully that he is “the champion of my youth”, “defender of my honor and the one who raises my head”.
And may I merit to love him with a stubborn love without limits, with all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews.
And to do His will always, and to run with all my strength to do everything to make him comfortable.
And in the merit of this, may I merit that You too, Master of the world, will do everything good that I want to achieve and to do.
Please, One who can do anything, and from whom nothing is withheld, act please with the greatness of Your endless kindness, and transform me from one extreme to the other.
And may I nullify myself with complete nullification to my husband, and everything he says to me I will do, “even if he says right is left and left is right”.
And I will not move from his good will even a hairsbreadth, and everything he will show me I will do, and everything he will ask me to do I will fulfill.
Please, Gracious and Merciful One, purify me from all my murky blood.
And may I no longer get angry with him with any anger in the world at all, and not with any other person, G-d forbid, and may I not get angry ever with anyone in the world at all.
And may I nullify myself completely to my husband and to my sons and my daughters, and to all the members of my family, and to all those around me.
PRAYER FOR A WOMAN TO SAY BEFORE HER MARRIAGE:
Master of the world who can do anything and from whom nothing is withheld.
Grant me to sanctify and purify myself, me and my husband, and to be like the two Cherubs on the Ark of the Covenant.
And all the days of our lives to dwell in love, warmth and friendship, and only help one another and strengthen one another, and to be a helper for each other.
And may we merit to be like the two Tablets of the Covenant.
And therefore may my husband and I merit to be truly an aspect of the Tablets, and to hear the Ten Commandments all of which were said with one utterance (which are heard at a wedding because every wedding is an aspect of standing at Mount Sinai).
And may I merit to feel at the time of the holy and pure chuppa (wedding canopy) that I am really standing now at Mount Sinai and hearing the Ten Commandments, and seeing the holy Shechina face to face, as it’s written, “face to face Hashem spoke with you”.
And so too may I merit (all through the wedding) to see Hashem eye to eye and face to face.
Master of the world who can do anything, and from whom nothing is withheld, grant me true Shalom Bayit.
And may we merit to be clean (21) and pure (276) like the ministering (905) angels (121) = 1512.
And may we merit to draw down on us the holiness (810) of the Shabbat (702) = 1512 day and night without pause.
And fulfill in us the promises, that “Hashem (26) redeemed (34) Yaakov (182) and in Israel (549) He prides Himself (681)” = 1512.
Master of the world, Father (13) who is good (17), grant my husband that he will be the most genius in Torah, the likes of which there hasn’t been for generations.
And through this everyone will, “enjoy (165) from him (136) advice (165) and resource (727) understanding (67) and might (222)” = 1512.
And fulfill in us the prayer and the saying, “the merit (433) of their forefathers (449) supports them (630)” = 1512 and “their righteousness stands forever”.
And may we become pregnant with a male son in the blink (305) of an eye (130) = 435 in the merit of the Tzadik (209) the foundation (80) of the world (146) = 435.
Master of the world, grant me to love my holy and pure husband with the holiness of the Holy of Holies who is a heavenly angel that came down from Heaven above, that I won’t blemish, G-d forbid, his tremendous holiness even to a hairsbreadth.
And I will merit to draw down the soul of Moshiach the son of Yosef who is called Nechemiah (108) the son of (52) Chushiel (355) = 515, the numerical value of ‘Va’etchanan’.
And grant me to be like Serach the daughter of Asher who merited to rise up to heaven with her body, through having the merit to purify her body to the utmost extent.
And through this she merited to be imbued with Moshe and Aharon (Moshe = 345, Aharon = 262 = 507 + 1 = Serach = 508).
Please Hashem, Gracious and Merciful One, save me from the husk of Zeresh (507) + 1 = 508, which is the opposite of Serach the daughter of Asher.
And may I never blemish my covenant any more, and may I never have any impure thoughts and no impure feelings at all, and may I only be holy and pure with the holiness of our holy teacher, as he promised “to be like me, really”.
And through this may I merit to draw down the two Moshiachs and also Moshiach the son of David who will bring the complete redemption to the nation of Israel, in the blink of an eye, Amen.
Master of the world who can do anything and from whom nothing is withheld, grant me to act with holiness and purity.
Please Hashem who is One (1), like Sarah (505), Rivka (313), Rachel (244) and Leah (42) = 1105 and may I merit to bring the king Moshiach who will build the Beit HaMikdash, speedily in our days, in the blink of an eye.
And may I merit to live with my holy and pure husband all my days in love (13) companionship (26) peace (382) and friendship (482) = 1105.
And may I be attached all the days of my life only to my holy and pure husband, who is one (15) of the thirty six (76) hidden (760) Tzadikim (254) = 1105.
And may I merit to feel myself like at the Giving (492) of the Torah (611) + 2 = 1105, and to hear the sounds and the lightning of the Giving of the Torah, really.
Especially the first awesome Commandment, “I am (81) Hashem (26) your G-d (66) who (501) brought you out (532) of the land (331) of Egypt (380) from the house (452) of slavery (126)” = 2495 in the merit of Avraham (248) Yitzchak (208) Yaakov (182) Moshe (345) Aharon (256) Yosef (156) David (14) Sarah (505) Rivka (307) Rachel (238) Leah (36) = 2495.
Master of the world who can do anything, “listen to our voices Hashem our G-d”.
And may I merit to pour out my heart like water before You.
Please have mercy and compassion on us, and accept our prayers with mercy and with desire, our Father our King.
Do not turn Your face from our pleadings, and do not hide your ears from our supplications, do not harden Your heart from your destitute brother, and do not close up your ears from our cries.
“Great is your compassion and mercy” – may it be awakened over us, because for so long I have yearned greatly to see the glory of Your strength.
I have been crying out and praying before You for years and years, that I will merit to be a kosher and pure daughter of Israel, a true Tzadikah, on the level of the holy and pure Matriarchs, like Sarah, Rivka, Rachel and Leah, Chanah, Miriam the prophetess, Devorah the prophetess and Esther the Queen, who merited through their prayers to bring salvation to the nation of Israel.
Please Merciful and Gracious One, “evening, morning and afternoon I speak to You”, I turn my face to You day and night, so that You will turn Your face to me, and You will bring me close in Your great mercy to truly serve You.
And I will merit to be a kosher woman to my husband, and truly do his will, and only make him happy in all ways of happiness, in an endless and boundless way.
And I will be always only happy, and he will not see any sadness in me and no despair, G-d forbid, and no weakness in belief, only that I will be endlessly and boundlessly happy, “and may my words be favorable before the master of all”.
And may there be fulfilled in me the verses, “before they called out I will answer them before they speak I hear”, “I was sought out without asking, I was found without requesting”.
And please fulfill all my prayers as a free gift.
And may I merit true teshuva, teshuva from love, “because You are the forgiver of Israel and the one who pardons the tribes of Yeshurun”. And through this may all my sins be transformed into merits, and all my sins be considered before You as good deeds.
And may all my actions rise up before You only as a pleasant fragrance, as it’s written, “while the King was still at [Sinai] my malodorous deed gave forth its scent”.
And may I merit from now on and from this moment to serve You day and night, with truth and simplicity, without pause, and without any weariness, as it’s written, “youths may weary and tire and young men may constantly falter, but those who hope is Hashem will have renewed strength, they will grow a wing like eagles, they will run and not grow tired, they will walk and not grow weary.”
Master of the world who can do anything and is full of mercy, who has performed for me endless mercies, “Savior of mercies”, only in You do I trust day and night.
Grant me to say this prayer with floods of tears.
Please, Master of the world, who can do anything, and from whom nothing is withheld, I don’t have the words in my mouth to thank You and to praise You on all the wonderous kindnesses You have performed for me.
And You have given me a husband that he should live together with me until 120 years, “with what shall I approach Hashem and humble myself before G-d on high? Shall I approach him with burnt offerings or with calves in their first year? Is Hashem appeased by thousands of rams or tens of thousands of streams of oil?”
“If my mouth were as full of song like the sea and my lips with joyous song like its numerous waves” it would not be sufficient to thank You on the greatness of Your mercy that You have performed for me, to someone as lowly as me.
And grant me all the days of my life to feel true lowliness in all of my 248 limbs and 365 sinews.
The lowliness of Moshe Rabbenu, peace be upon him, which was engraved in each and every limb, which is why he was called ‘Mechokek’ (engraved) = 248 (the same as the number of limbs).
Please Merciful and Gracious One, let me truly feel my lowliness, like the Gemara says (Sanhedrin 43(b)) that those whose mind is humble the verse considers it as if he brought all the offerings in the world, as it says, “the offerings of Hashem is a broken spirit”.
Please, Merciful and Gracious One who can do anything, and from whom nothing is withheld, “Savior of mercies”, who has mercy on those who are pursued, and who raises up from the lowest garbage pit.
After You granted me the merit of a wonderful husband like this, grant me the merit to be fitting for him.
And may I no longer blemish my covenant any more, not in thought, not in speech, not in sight and not in action, and from now on all the things I see and look at and all my thoughts will be completely holy and pure
And I will be only attached to You with all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews.
So too, grant me from this moment on to be the Holy of Holies, in all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews, and all my sinews and my blood that flows through me will be the Holy of Holies, clean and pure like snow and like milk.
And from this moment on, I take upon myself to sanctify myself with the holiness of the pure and holy Matriarchs, who merited to draw down the souls of the nation of Israel into the world.
So too, grant me from this moment to sanctify and purify myself, until I merit to see and to feel at every moment and second the most pure of lights.
And my light will go from one end of the world to the other, and may I merit a holy body from The Garden of Eden, like Chavah (Eve) merited before the sin of the Tree of Knowledge, whose light shone from one end of the world to the other.
So too, grant me from this moment on to have a holy and pure body.
And all my desire and yearning will be only for You, and for no one else, and there will no longer be any lusts which awaken within me, G-d forbid, and I will only dedicate all my life to Torah and prayer.
And I will serve my husband with faithfulness, and I will concern myself to ensure that he learns eight hours Gemara every day.
And I will sacrifice myself for those eight hours, and only encourage him always to go on the path of Hashem, until my husband and I merit to draw down anew the soul of our holy and awesome Rabbi, and the soul of the ‘faithful shepherd’ to the world, and the souls of Moshiach the son of Yosef and Moshiach the son of David, who will bring the complete redemption and the building of the Beit HaMikdash, in the blink of an eye.
Amen, Netzach, Selah, Va’ed.
Master of the world who can do anything and from whom nothing is withheld, grant us the heights of holiness and purity, me and my husband.
And may we all be holy and pure with the holiness of our holy Rabbi, and may I love my husband a love from the soul, with all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews, and with all my feelings, internally and externally, in my nefesh, ruach, neshamah, chayah and yechidah [levels of soul].
And may my husband and I merit a higher unification at every moment and second, and may our souls be connected to one another, with a fearless and strong connection which will never separate ever.
And may we be like the two Cherubs on the Kaporet which was on the Ark of the Covenant, until we merit that the voice of the holy Shechina will emerge from between us.
Master of the world, help me and save me to be a “woman of valor who can find” – of which the last letters of each word have the numerical value of the word ‘emet’ (truth).
And may I merit, “Ekieh Asher Ekieh (I will be what I will be)”, because “Ekieh” (21) x “Ekieh” (21) = “emet” (truth) = 441. And may I merit to know that “it is You who is Hashem, G-d” above, alone, in the midst of the land, and there is no other.
And may me, my husband and I merit to be like Avraham and Sarah, Yitzchak and Rivka, Yaakov and Rachel and Leah, whose candles never went out ever.
So too, may my candles and the candles of my husband never go out ever.
Please, Merciful and Gracious One, take me out of the mind of Amalek, which controls me, and may I pass through all the constrictions of marriage with love and desire, and love my husband with my heart and soul.
And may I try always to do his good will, and may I get out completely from the mind of Amalek, from now and forever more.
Master of the world who can do anything and from whom nothing is withheld.
Help me please to be the secret of “a woman of valor the crown of her husband” in the secret of “a woman of valor who can find” the last letters of which spell out ‘talia’ = 441 = ‘emet’ (truth).
Please, Gracious and Merciful One, who can do anything, grant me to respect my husband with all types of honor in the world, and all of my home will be the secret of the Mishkan (the Sanctuary in the wilderness), the secret of the initial letters of ‘Mita’ (bed) ‘Shulchan’ (table) ‘Kiseh’ (chair) ‘Menorah’.
And may I merit to choose life, and to be attached to my husband twenty four hours a day without any pause in concentration at all.
When I’m sitting in my house, and when I’m going on the way, when I lie down and when I get up, because he is my Tree of Life, my master and my teacher, and the crown of my head.
And through this may there be drawn down upon me, a light from the foundation of Raisha de’lo Ityada (the ‘Unknown Head’) which is clothed in the forehead of Arich Anpin.
And may there shine down upon me the lights of the forehead of Arich Anpin, 370 illuminations, in the secret of Tzippora who merited ‘Tzippor’ (370) lights, which are the 370 illuminations which Hashem shines down below.
And may all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews only yearn and long for You, in the secret of “my heart and my flesh will sing to the G-d of Life”.
And may I merit to be like King David, who all his days only sang and played melodies for Your honor.
And I will play my melodies for the House of Hashem forever.
And through this, that I will merit to play my melodies over the House of Hashem day and night, may I merit to subdue the three terrible husks which are Esav, Bilaam, Amalek, which have control over the world.
And in particular in that I will merit to get up before dawn, I will merit to subdue the husk of Balak the son of Tzippor (dawn = 508, Balak (132), Tzippor (376) = 508).
And may I merit through this that I play my melodies all night to subdue all the terrible husks, which are the terrible darkness which darkens the face of the Creation, and subdue all the types of ‘calves’, through getting up before dawn.
And in that which I merit to join together with the singing of the birds (Tzipporim) which awaken at the light of the day, may I merit to subdue completely the two birds (Tzipporim) of the husks, which are the root of Balak the son of Tzippor who ventured to excise the nation of Israel.
And through this to raise up the two birds of holiness from which the prophets suckled to overcome, and through this may my husband and I and my children (may they be born soon) merit that there will be fulfilled in us the verses, “and their sons and their daughters will prophesy and their elders will dream dreams and your young men will see visions”.
And may we merit, on account of being awake all night, a spirit of prophecy, and the aspeklaria ha’meira (the looking glass which is clear).
And to see everything clearly, and to sweeten all the judgments from over all Israel, and to draw down new kindnesses into the world every morning.