Prayer: When a Person Gets Angry

PRAYER #680

To merit not to lose the light of the Shechinah (the Divine Presence) and the Godly soul, and to guard the purity of the holy oils and the shining of the face (radiant countenance), and to overcome anger—and not to become angry even in thought.

“Who tears his own soul in his anger—will the earth be abandoned for your sake?”

For through every anger and every outburst, we lose the Shechinah and the Godly soul. Then the Shechinah says: “I and he cannot dwell under one roof.” Please, Hashem, grant me the merit not to lose the holy Shechinah because of a thought of anger—for then all kinds of Gehinnom (purgatorial fires) rule over him, because all the blood boils, and then it is possible to fall into other severe and terrifying sins.

Please, Hashem: “Rescue me from the hand of the wicked, from the palm of the unjust and the violent,” so that he will not tear away our souls from us, and so that he will not sour (ruin) our pure and holy countenance. And may we merit the pure, refined, and clarified Menorah—us and all Your people, the House of Israel.

For through anger a person loses the seven branches of the Menorah—like the Greeks who defiled all the oils. Please, Hashem, grant us the merit never again to defile the oils of the Beis HaMikdash (Holy Temple) through anger, and that we always guard the purity of the oils and the purity of the face—so that we always have a pure and holy countenance.

And if, Heaven forbid, anger comes upon us, may we immediately overcome it and erase it from within us. Please, Hashem, grant us the merit to drive anger away from ourselves always, and never again stumble in anger—ever—even a thought of anger. Rather, may we always restrain ourselves and be silent, and always speak gently—even when they anger me. Never again will I be angry, forever.

“Patience/long-suffering (arichus apayim)” is an avodah (spiritual work) of every moment—especially when a stage arrives where someone is bothering me and it is hard for me to cope. Then Rebbe Nachman revealed to us that when he arrived in Eretz Yisrael, he merited the very highest level of patience—until Rebbe Nachman expressed that even if they would inflict upon him the greatest sufferings, he would not be particular at all, and would only bestow upon that person all goodness.

And the tzaddikim (righteous ones), who are our guides, from whom we drink the waters of the well of life—the tzaddikim teach us about yielding (vitur), and to learn to bestow even when they bother me and caused me things beyond measure. Like Yosef HaTzaddik: even after the brothers sold him, Yosef only bestowed and cared for his brothers, and did not take revenge and did not bear a grudge against them.

And the tzaddikim constantly fulfill the verse “v’nahafoch hu” (“and it was turned upside down”), turning themselves into the opposite of the world—only granting and giving even when people repay them evil for good. They increase compassion as much as possible. And may we merit to learn and walk in their holy ways, and to be included in them in wholeness.

PRAYER #645

To merit patience (arichus apayim) and not to be particular with any person in the world, and only to repay him with all the goodness in the world; and to learn from the path of the tzaddikim, who never take revenge and never bear a grudge; and to merit changing our nature from one extreme to the other.

For patience (arichus apayim)

Master of the World, Almighty: grant me the merit of patience, and that I never be particular with any person—ever—even if he would do to me all the troubles and all the sufferings in the world.

As is written in Hilchos Tefillin 5, סעיף 17, that Rebbe Nachman said that when he arrived in Eretz Yisrael he merited such patience that even if they would do to him all the sufferings in the world, he would not be particular at all. On the contrary—he would do for that person all the goodness in the world, and bestow upon him endless abundance—for him, for his children, and for his children’s children forever.

For tzaddikim conduct themselves opposite of the general populace: they do not take revenge and do not bear a grudge, as it is written: “You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge against the children of your people.” They are never particular—like Yosef HaTzaddik, who after they did to him all the sufferings in the world, did not take offense, did not get angry, and did not bear a grudge against them, Heaven forbid. On the contrary—he fed them, gave them drink, and clothed them.

For tzaddikim are in the aspect of “Purim,” in the aspect of “v’nahafoch hu”—the complete opposite of the general populace. So may we also merit never to be particular, and to change our evil nature from one extreme to the other, and never be particular—only to strengthen ourselves in the trait of compassion without end.

Every person in life has ascents and descents. Only, in a time of descent a person must remember the light and the joy he had when he was in mochin d’gadlus (expanded consciousness). For when a person falls, he is left only with a reshimu (an impression/trace of feeling) from the previous place where he had been. Therefore he is liable to stumble into anger—because in this low place that a person has descended to, there is anger and burning wrath.

And when a person overcomes anger, he will merit to enter Gan Eden (Paradise) ישר (straight) without judgment. He will also merit sons and daughters, and they will be “embracing the arms of the world.”

And to be saved from anger is only through songs and praises and thanksgiving to Hashem. For within the point of anger that a person has in the inner chambers of his heart, there arrives—Heaven forbid—complaint toward Hashem: “Why is this happening to me? Why is this passing over me?”

But when a person strengthens himself with song and dancing, and sings and praises Hashem, he sees how much kindness Hashem does with him at every moment. He reveals Hashem’s glory in all the worlds. Then joy and strength are drawn upon him to overcome the mochin d’katnus (constricted consciousness) that sometimes we fall into—and we will also merit to overcome all the angers that dwell there.

PRAYER #620

To merit being saved from anger that comes from mochin d’katnus, and to merit entering Gan Eden without judgment; and always to sing and dance, and that Hashem’s Name be revealed in the world.

A prayer against anger

Master of the World, Almighty: when I fall into the sefirah of Malchus (Kingship) of the World of Asiyah (Action), please save me from the anger that comes from mochin d’katnus.

When a person falls into Malchus d’Asiyah, which is “down, down,” there are all the anger and burning wrath that come from mochin d’katnus, because of which one falls into anger. For by being saved from anger, one merits to enter straight into Gan Eden without any judgment, and through this one merits sons and daughters—“embracing the arms of the world.”

Please, Hashem, grant me the merit to know that “the rule is before You,” and: “Strength is in Your hand, and might is in Your right,” (with the numerical calculations given) 132 = 1357.

For it is impossible to be saved from anger except through songs and dancing—songs and praises—as it is said (with the numerical calculations):

“Azamer b’shvachin l’me’al go pischin” 548 = 1357,

“V’esmechah v’e’eltzah bach azamrah shimcha Elyon” 166 = 1357,

And through this You will reveal “the greatness and the might and the splendor…and the victory,” and also: “With song Your Name will be glorified.”

Our Sages, of blessed memory, spoke very strongly against anger. As noted above, anger removes the Shechinah from a person. And at the time of anger, the fire of Gehinnom rules over a person—and even the Shechinah does not stand against him. This is considered as if he serves idolatry (avodah zarah), one of the most severe sins in the Torah.

Anger causes a person to be judged with harsh judgments and terrifying sufferings. It causes poverty and difficulty in livelihood, leaving him lacking everything. But when a person merits overcoming anger, he merits extraordinary wealth, and the whole world stands upon him.

As the Gaon of Vilna says: “In every moment that a person blocks his mouth, no angel or creature can stand [against him].” For in those moments of overcoming, he changes nature, and they bestow upon him wealth of holiness.

And Rebbe Nachman explains: when they want to bestow money upon a person, immediately there is an accusation against him: “Who says he deserves it?” Then they send the person a test of anger, to see if he will withstand it. When he merits to withstand the test, they immediately bestow wealth upon him. And if, Heaven forbid, he fails, he loses the gifts they wanted to give him.

PRAYER #619

To merit being saved from anger, for there is no sin greater than this; and a person is judged with harsh judgments, removes the Shechinah, and loses the flow of wealth.

A prayer to be saved from anger

Master of the World, Almighty, from Whom no plan is withheld: grant me the merit to be saved from anger, and that I never become angry.

For there is no sin in the world more severe than anger, as it is written: “Whoever gets angry—all kinds of Gehinnom rule over him, and it is as if he serves idolatry.” And Hashem will never forgive him, and he will need to give judgment and accounting for every anger and every outburst he becomes angry with.

As it is said: “Who tears his own soul in his anger—will the earth be abandoned for your sake?” For he causes the Shechinah to depart from the world; the Shechinah flees from the world; and he has no standing forever. He is judged with harsh judgments and terrifying sufferings.

And Rebbe Nachman says in Torah 69 that he loses all his abundance and all his wealth, and remains naked and lacking everything—and all because the head of the household stumbled in anger.

Anger is a doorway through which a person can fall into severe sins. And when a person merits strengthening himself and overcoming this difficult test, he will also merit shemiras einayim (guarding the eyes), because the two depend on each other: when one does not get angry, one merits guarding the eyes; and when one guards the eyes, one merits overcoming anger.

As is told about Rabbi Matya ben Charash, who stood in the test of guarding the eyes to such an extent that he asked his student to bring him glowing-hot spits and he thrust them into his eyes. The main thing is to guard the eyes.

And Rebbe Nachman writes in Likkutei Moharan that when a person guards his eyes, he will merit to see exalted things—because one depends on the other. For when a person opens his eyes and sees forbidden things, he connects two angels not from the side of holiness, called “Andralamusya.” This name divides into two: “Andrala–Musya.” When a person stumbles with the eyes, they connect with each other, and pogroms can occur in the world, Heaven forbid. But when a person overcomes and guards his eyes, he also merits overcoming anger and sweetening the judgments in the world.

PRAYER #531

To merit being saved from anger and never to become angry, and to merit guarding the eyes—and thus never to become angry.

Master of the World, Almighty: grant me the merit to be saved from anger, and that I never become angry even once about anything. Even something that seems to me that I should be angry about—Heaven forbid—I will never again become angry. I will never stumble in anger.

And I will learn from Chushim ben Dan, who cut off Esav’s head and did not allow Yaakov our grandfather to lie in disgrace.

And then, if we do not get angry, we merit to place glowing-hot spits into the eyes, like Matya ben Charash—who even though he lived in Rome, merited there to receive the inspiration to place glowing-hot spits into the eyes. The main thing is not to look at forbidden sights.

For King David says in Psalm 119: “Remove my eyes from seeing vanity.” And one must pronounce it with a “vav,” not with a “beis”—meaning to read it as “Blind my eyes from seeing vanity,” i.e., “I prefer that You blind my eyes, rather than that I remain with open eyes, Heaven forbid, and look at forbidden sights.” Then, when we do not stumble in forbidden sights, we never get angry.

A person’s avodah, through praying and learning about overcoming anger, gives him strength at the time of anger to cope. It does not always succeed the first time. But when a person works on a particular trait, such as anger, then tests also come. Yet on the other side there are special gifts—such as long life and years.

And when a person merits to rise further in levels, he will reach the place of “Vayidom Aharon” (“And Aaron was silent”). Even someone who harms him—he will be silent and restrain himself. And when a person knows that “this is the best thing for me,” he will also merit long life and years.

PRAYER #672

To merit being saved from the trait of anger, and never to become angry at any member of my household; and everyone who humiliates me or speaks against me—I will love him with love of the soul. And in this merit, my days and years will be lengthened, without ailments and pains at all.

To merit, through overcoming anger, long life and years

Master of the World: save me from anger—“and from those who rise against me, lift me up; save me from workers of iniquity, and from men of blood rescue me; for behold, they lie in wait for my soul; the mighty gather against me—not for my transgression and not for my sin, Hashem.”

Please, Hashem: save me from the trait of anger, and never again will I become angry—neither at my wife, nor at my sons, nor at my daughters. I will draw upon myself the trait of “Vayidom Aharon,” and I will always be silent toward those who curse me, silent toward those who insult me, silent toward everyone who speaks against me—and I will love them with love of the soul, with all my nefesh/ruach/neshamah/chayah/yechidah (levels of soul).

Even when they humiliate me, I will know that this is the healthiest and most pleasant thing. And in this merit I will have long life and years, without any ailments and without any pains at all.

When the spies entered to scout the land, it was not a simple test not to stumble into anger at the way the spies spoke. Yehoshua bin Nun did not get angry at all, and he knew that everything is supervised by Hashem with wondrous Divine Providence. He only prayed to Hashem that the people of Israel not fall into the sin of the spies—lashon hara (evil speech).

For through this terrible sin, they fall in war into the hands of our physical enemies; and spiritually too, a person falls into the sitra achra (the “Other Side,” the realm of impurity), which causes disconnection from Hashem. This sin is weighed equal to all sins in the world.