The Daily Chizuk from The Rav, the holy Tzaddik Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a — We Get Married in Order to Bring Melech HaMoshiach

Our Sages taught: There was an incident with a man who married a woman who was missing a hand, and he did not realize it until the day she died. Rav said: Come and see how modest this woman was, that her husband did not recognize it. Rabbi Chiya said to him: That is simply how she lived; rather, come and see how modest this man was, that he did not recognize it about his wife. (Tractate Shabbos 53b)

Sunday, 22 Elul 5782 — He had a wife who was missing a hand, and he never saw it, because of guarding his eyes.

These are his holy words:

Frida, the wife of R’ Shmuel Shapira—her face became distorted; she had a scar on her face. So as a Litvak (R’ Shapira was Lithuanian before he drew close to Breslov), it did not bother him. Even as a Litvak, a person still needs to guard his eyes.

R’ Shmuel Shapira said: I don’t look—what do I care if there’s a scar or not, if it’s crooked, if the mouth is crooked…

Someone married a woman who was missing a hand—a story from the Gemara, Tractate Shabbos (53b). In his entire life he never saw that she was missing a hand. He had a wife who was missing a hand, and he never saw it—because a person should not look at his wife for beauty, for desire.

Why Do We Get Married?

Rebbe Nachman says (Likutei Halachos, Orach Chaim) that we get married in order to bring Moshiach ben David!

If it is for desire, then there is no need to get married at all. For the yetzer hara? A woman is not for the yetzer hara!

“With this Aharon shall enter the holy place” (Vayikra 16:3): if he has no wife, he cannot enter the Kodesh HaKodashim. Only through the wife can he—through the wife one enters the Kodesh HaKodashim.

So Rebbe Nachman asked: Why do we get married? If it is for the yetzer hara, it would be better not to get married! What—are you marrying a woman for the yetzer hara, for your desires?

Rebbe Nachman says we do not get married for that. One must not attend such a wedding. If a person got married for the yetzer hara, then it is forbidden to be at that wedding—there is nothing fitting to rejoice over!

What are we rejoicing over? That you have a wife? So what?

If it is for desire, for the yetzer hara—then know: a woman is not the yetzer hara. A woman is the Shechinah; she is a Divine soul.

Our body is a box; the body is not for desires.