"And Then I Remembered That the Fifteenth of Shevat Had Passed

Today, Tu B'Shvat, the New Year for Trees, is the day when the soul of our strength and genius, Moharnat (Rabbi Noson) zy"a (may his merit protect us), descended to this world to strengthen and revive our souls in the final generation. Many do not know the greatness of a birthday, and some even disparage this great and important day. Before you is a special excerpt from Yemei Moharnat (The Days of Moharnat) where Rabbi Noson tells of the great joy he had on his birthday, and how he spent this great and awesome day—the fifteenth of Shevat.

At that time, there was a slight dispute between the partners, Rabbi Dov and Rabbi Yaakov Yosef, regarding the atkap (contract work). Rabbi Yaakov Yosef was prepared to travel to Petersburg to hire [workers], but they had not yet reached an agreement. At first, I did not want to express my opinion on this at all. Later, on Tuesday, I inclined my ear a bit to hear the nature of the conflicts between them. Thank Hashem, Rabbi Tzvi, may his light shine, made peace and a compromise between them, and I also helped him a little. Then, Rabbi Dov made a seudah (festive meal) for me on the night belonging to Wednesday, which is the night of the fifteenth of Shevat—the time of my birth. He invited all of our important Anshei Shelomenu (our community of followers), as well as Rabbi Yaakov Yosef and his son, and we were all reclining at his table.

1. Also on Tuesday after chatzos (midday), our friend, the honorable Rav, our teacher Rabbi Yudel, may his light shine, arrived, and we spoke together with great love. Then we were all at the seudah (festive meal) that night, and we spoke much at the table about Rebbe Nachman, of blessed memory. We told of the wonders of the "Awesome Book" which he commanded to be burned due to our many sins, and other wondrous things from our awesome Rebbe, of blessed memory. I also rebuked someone regarding certain things that did not find favor in our eyes. All these matters and the like are connected for me to the matter of my journey to Eretz Yisrael (the Land of Israel). Therefore, I am writing everything down for a remembrance, but it is impossible to explain how every single detail relates to my journey to Eretz Yisrael. Afterward, the younger men of our Anshei Shelomenu (community) who were not at the meal arrived; they played several melodies, and we were in a bit of joy. The meal continued until after chatzos (midnight).
2. On Wednesday, the fifteenth of Shevat, Rabbi Yaakov Yosef made a seudah (festive meal) in his home, and all the aforementioned people were there, along with Rabbi Dov, may his light shine. Before the meal, the peace and compromise between them were finalized. During that meal as well, we told a bit about Rebbe Nachman, of blessed memory, and it lasted until evening. Afterward, we prayed Mincha and Maariv (afternoon and evening prayers). I was already very weary because I had not slept enough the previous night, and I hadn't slept at all during the day, so I lay down immediately to sleep.

I was content not to wake up from my sleep to eat the evening meal. However, I woke up before the evening meal, but I only wanted to eat a very tiny bit. And then I remembered that the fifteenth of Shevat had passed without proper joy, and I began to gladden myself. Rabbi Yeshaya of Tsherkas, one of our Anshei Shelomenu (community), was there, and I grabbed him into the joy and danced with him against his will. At first, he was not pleased at all, but I pressured him greatly, and he could not change my will. Through this, joy was eventually drawn upon him in truth, as is explained in our teachings—that at first, one must force oneself into joy, and afterward, the joy comes in truth, just as I heard explicitly from his (Rebbe Nachman's) holy mouth (Likutey Moharan II, 23). And those few dances and the joy of that night were more precious to me than fine gold and pearls, for I had despaired of being joyful at that time, since I had already fallen asleep. Hashem helped me to reach joy then, which is a great thing for me. For whenever I merit to be in joy, even on a weekday, it is very precious to me and a great mitzvah (commandment). For Rebbe Nachman, of blessed memory, warned me very, very much to always be only happy, and to force ourselves with all our strength to be in joy always. The main thing is to gladden oneself specifically through millei d'shtuta (words of silliness/nonsense), as is explained in our teachings many times (ibid, 24). Through this aforementioned joy, we merited to be joyful afterward on the Holy Shabbat as well, for through this, I taught the aforementioned Rabbi Yeshaya to be in joy and dancing on the Holy Shabbat. Especially regarding the journey to Eretz Yisrael (the Land of Israel), joy was a major principle for me. Every joy, small or great, little or much, that I had on the way, was all Siyata d'Shmaya (Heavenly assistance) to merit us to arrive there. Without it, it would have been impossible for me to arrive there.