How Do I Take Control of My Destiny? A Woman’s Self-Sacrifice

The Daily Strengthening from The Rav, Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a — “Through the power of a woman’s self-sacrifice, she merits more than a man”

“And like the light of morning, the sun rises” (II Samuel 23:4)

“Through the window Sisera’s mother looked out and wailed, through the lattice” (Judges 5:28)

“And Avimelech, king of the Philistines, looked out through the window” (Genesis 26:8)

“And Yael went out to meet Sisera and said to him, ‘Turn aside, my master, turn aside’” (Judges 4:18)

“For there was peace between Yavin king of Chatzor and the house of Chever the Keini” (ibid. 4:17)

“Her hand reached for the tent peg, and her right hand for the workman’s hammer” (ibid. 5:26)

“Between her feet he sank, he fell, he lay; where he sank, there he fell—devastated” (ibid. 5:27)

“Blessed above women is Yael, the wife of Chever the Keini; above women in the tent shall she be blessed” (ibid. 5:24)

Tuesday, 3 Sivan 5783 — We must bring close those who are far; there is no person who doesn’t want to do teshuvah

These are his holy words:

You must get up before sunrise

“The light of morning” is the sun—because a person has to get up before sunrise. If he gets up after sunrise, he has already lost. It’s like catching the train in the middle of the ride.

If you want to take control of the day—if you want to take control of what is happening in the world—you must get up before sunrise. If a person gets up after sunrise, he has already lost; everything goes the opposite way for him.

If a person wants to take control of what is happening… this is what King David said: “And like the light of morning, the sun rises” (II Samuel 23:4)—meaning that he rules over all of Creation.

A person should spend the entire day saying Tehillim without stopping—don’t stop.

Why did Yael take a tent peg and not a knife?

Why didn’t Yael take a knife to kill Sisera—why did she take a tent peg? If you want to stab, use a knife, a small blade. A tent peg is thick—how will it go into the temple? Sisera would wake up!

Yael said: No—I’m taking a tent peg! “Tent peg” is exactly the same gematria as “and Sisera’s mother wailed” (Judges 5:28)—meaning, if Sisera’s mother would have seen the tent peg…

About Sisera’s mother it says, “Through the window… through the lattice” (ibid.). About Avimelech it says, “And Avimelech, king of the Philistines, looked out through the window” (Genesis 26:8). What—did they say the window was open? What nonsense is that?

No! The Zohar says that “the window” refers to sorcery. Avimelech had powers of sorcery through which he could see what was happening in the innermost rooms.

We must bring close those who are far; there is no person who doesn’t want to do teshuvah

It is written that if Yaakov had accepted Timna, Amalek would not have been born. But Yaakov did not want to accept Timna, and so Amalek was born. Timna already wanted to do teshuvah (Timna was the concubine of Elifaz, the mother of Amalek, and the sister of Lotan son of Seir the Chori).

Timna saw Yaakov—such a radiant face—and she wanted to do teshuvah. But Yaakov didn’t accept her into his “seminary,” and Amalek came out of that.

The administrators of institutions are responsible for what happens in the world, because there is no person who doesn’t want to do teshuvah—there is no such thing!

Sisera was a righteous person, a good person, a holy person. But what can you do—they didn’t accept him into the yeshivah; maybe they threw him out too—so he took revenge.

“And Yael went out to meet Sisera and said to him, ‘Turn aside, my master, turn aside’” (Judges 4:18). Sisera entered in innocence—he was a simple, trusting person; he believed her. After all, it says, “For there was peace between Yavin king of Chatzor and the house of Chever the Keini” (ibid. 4:17). And Yael was from Chever the Keini—from Yisro.

Yael took a tent peg—something thick that doesn’t even stab. Sisera should have woken up, and it was a miracle. “Her hand reached for the tent peg, and her right hand for the workman’s hammer” (ibid. 5:26).

King David becomes “impregnated” within all the tzaddikim

“Between her feet he sank, he fell… devastated” (ibid. 5:27). “Devastated” (שדוד) is the gematria of Metatron (מט"ט), hinting that even Metatron became “impregnated” within Yael. “Blessed above women is Yael, the wife of Chever the Keini; above women in the tent shall she be blessed” (ibid. 5:24)—“above women in the tent shall she be blessed” is gematria 1100, which is the gematria of David.

1086 is exactly the gematria of Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, and Leah—showing that Yael is greater than them, because she gave over her life. And if we add another 14—the gematria of David—together it becomes 1100. It’s very simple: we see that the soul of David becomes “impregnated” within Yael and within all the tzaddikim. Even though David had not yet come into the world, it doesn’t matter—the first light is King David. The first light that Hashem created in the world is King David.

Before all the lights stands King David. Every person who learns Torah receives a spark from David, because David gave over his life—just like Yael.

Through the power of a woman’s self-sacrifice, she merits more than a man

After that, Yael reincarnated as Eli. Every woman who gives over her life will become the Kohen Gadol. A woman gives over her life so that her husband will learn—parnassah, childbirth, everything—and in the next home, in the Third House, she will be the Kohen Gadol.

It’s impossible to understand what childbirth is that a woman goes through. Every birth is a matter of life and death; every birth is terrible suffering. A man wouldn’t last even one second in such suffering. A woman can go through 24 hours of agonizing pains—only a woman can endure that. Therefore, in the end every woman will be the Kohen Gadol.

Heichal HaBerachah says that women are above men; the woman will be above the man, because she goes through real suffering. It goes by suffering—by pain. The man doesn’t go through any suffering: every half hour a cup of coffee with cake. With that you don’t go to Gan Eden—straight to Gehinnom. The woman can’t eat; she has no time to eat. The woman gets up at night—she doesn’t sleep, not by day and not by night.

It’s impossible to describe what a woman goes through. It is written in Heichal HaBerachah: “A woman is the crown of her husband”—she will merit a crown, the light of morning, the hidden light. In the end, everyone will merit the hidden light.

So we spoke about how Yael reincarnated as Eli. And Eli had to repair the spark of Aharon, because Aharon did not give over his life by the Golden Calf. That was a very great deficiency; therefore he had to fall at the age of 98. He fell on the back of his neck and broke his neck.