The Daily Strengthening from The Rav, Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a — Every Baal Teshuvah Merits a Revelation of Hashem, Face to Face

“All vows and prohibitions and oaths and bans and consecrations and penalties and substitutions, that we vowed and that we swore, and that we banned and that we forbade upon ourselves—from this Yom Kippur until the next Yom Kippur that comes upon us for good—we regret them all…” (from the Kol Nidrei prayer)

Tuesday, 10 Elul 5782 — The melody he heard as a child ultimately brought him back to Judaism at the far end of the world.

These are his holy words:

A person must be a servant of Hashem. Once a person has already returned in teshuvah, he must continue and remain a servant of Hashem.

Hashem revealed Himself to the Baal Teshuvah. Every Baal Teshuvah is a revelation—face to face, a revelation of G-dliness. Every Baal Teshuvah needs to know clearly: How did I come back in teshuvah? What caused it? What was it?

There are Baalei Teshuvah who were extremely wealthy and had everything good, without any crises. True, there are Baalei Teshuvah who were pushed and squeezed in all kinds of situations and then returned in teshuvah—but there are also Baalei Teshuvah who had only good, only abundance.

For example, Stoker had everything. He was already on his way to make a film about the Carmel—about Haifa—and he was supposed to receive billions for it. He knew nothing about Judaism. He only remembered that once, they used to go to “Kol Nidrei” on Yom Kippur.

They were completely secular, living in Haifa. They had a record store. But on “Kol Nidrei” they would go to the synagogue. For Kol Nidrei they would stand outside the synagogue, listen to the Kol Nidrei melody, and go back home. That is what he knew. He didn’t know there is Shabbos. He didn’t know there is kashrus. He knew nothing.

Today they raise children who don’t even know there is Torah. They see us as primitive cave-dwellers. “These religious Chareidim are destroying our country”—they want a state that is only made of abominations. It’s impossible to withstand the tests, because even the angels did not withstand them.

And this Stoker went to swim in the sea. The sun was already setting, and he remained in the water in Los Angeles. He was swimming in the ocean wearing only a bathing suit—no shirt, nothing—swimming in the sea, how enjoyable it is to swim in the sea. Suddenly, near the shore, he hears the Kol Nidrei melody—the only thing he knew from the entire Torah.

He ran toward the melody. He hears the tune he has known since he was a tiny child, because that is what his parents used to do. On Yom Kippur they would go to Kol Nidrei, stand outside, and listen to the chazzan’s melody—and that melody was engraved in him. He sees some trailer, some wooden shack on the seashore, and inside are elderly Jews—Holocaust survivors—everyone crying, such a Kol Nidrei…

He stood there in his bathing suit, outside the window, transfixed—transfixed by the melody, transfixed by those who were crying.

In his entire life he had never seen such a sight—such a revelation of G-dliness. Suddenly he sees that there is Hashem in the world, face to face. There is Hashem. There is a pleasure greater than swimming. There is a pleasure greater than being there in the sea. There is something exalted—something that rises above all intellect, above everything he learned in his life, above everything he ever enjoyed in his life.

He still had two years left, but immediately he announced that he was canceling that contract. He acted like a madman. He had a million-dollar contract to make a film about all of the Carmel—about the entire mountain, from bottom to top. He gave up everything. He said, “I’m packing, and tomorrow I’m returning to Eretz Yisrael.”

There are many Baalei Teshuvah who returned מתוך הטוב—out of goodness and abundance—who were swimming in a sea of cream, a sea of milk, a sea of honey, like the babies (in Egypt) who would swim in a sea of honey. A person must be a servant of Hashem.