Powerful: Shalom Bayit (Marital Harmony)

The Daily Strengthening from our teacher, the holy Gaon and Tzaddik, Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a (may he live long and good days) – "Many daughters have done valiantly, but you surpass them all"

Thursday, 7th of Kislev 5786 – "Always tell your wife 'my sister' and there will never be a divorce," these are his holy words:

"Please say you are my sister" (Genesis 12:13), Rabbi Eliezer opened and said (Zohar, page 49), say that you are my sister.

The entire matter of saying "my sister" to one's wife—a person comes into this world to say "my sister" to his wife; he must say "my sister" to her.

Tell her "my sister," do not call her "stupid." You must tell her "my sister," you must tell her "my dear," "My sister, my beloved, my dove, my perfect one" (Song of Songs 5:2), as it is written in the Song of Songs.

Always tell your wife "my sister" and there will never be a divorce – if a person knows he cannot tell his wife she is wise, he should not get married; let him sit quietly and not cause her pain.

Here we learn that someone who marries a woman and cannot say to her, "You are my sister, my sister"—he cannot speak pleasantly to her, tell her she is wise, diligent; always tell your wife, "You are the wisest, the most diligent, you are the most..."

Don't tell her, "You don't cook, you don't know how to cook" – if she breaks a plate? Let the plate break! May it always be Mazel Tov (good luck) when a plate breaks!

A person doesn't know how to say to his wife, "You are the wisest, you are the most precious, my dear," as it is written, "My sister, my beloved, my dove, my perfect one."

"Many daughters have done valiantly, but you surpass them all" (Proverbs 31:29), about whom was this written? We always sing this after Maariv (evening prayer) on Friday nights. Someone who doesn't know how to say this should not get married – all of this is written in the Zohar on page 49.

A person must tell his wife, "You are the best woman, you are the most wonderful woman, you are the most successful woman, you are the most..."

Don't say, "My mother cooked better" or "My sister cooks better." Say the opposite – "You cook the best, you are the greatest chef, there is no chef like you, you are the head of all chefs, you surpass all other women, 'and you surpass them all.'"

This is simple; this matter is instructive. I say this to all grooms.

You hear about someone getting divorced; it's after he has already been humiliating her for two years, telling her she is stupid and so on, until he doesn't even want to bring her a glass of water.

Afterward, she screams. She screams, and then he tells everyone, "My wife screamed at me" – but you screamed at her a thousand times and she restrained herself, saying, "It's not so bad."

A person doesn't understand; he doesn't know that he must constantly tell her, "Many daughters have done valiantly, but you surpass them all." Tell her always that [compared to her] all other women are like monkeys; tell her 300 times, "You are the only woman in the world, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh."

He is always running to his mother, saying, "What? You can manage on your own, I need to help my mother. You are capable, a good woman, you know how to manage, but my mother is unfortunate. My mother needs help; she has ten children and needs his help."

But this is the opposite of the Torah! The Torah says: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife" (Genesis 2:24). You cannot keep saying "my mother." He must say to her, he must speak with the principle of "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Bereishit Rabbah 24:7), "You are bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. You are the most successful woman, the only woman in the world."

What pearls, what words! "You are bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh" – where else can you find such a thing? You are part of my flesh, you are part of my bones.

You are part of me. What does this mean? It means we are the most successful couple!