Prayer 15 Tammuz 5778

I said in his presence that 10 years ago I had already taken it upon myself to publish the prayers of the Rav, and thank Hashem, the Rav connected me with Michael Toito so that we could publish the prayers. The Rav told me, "In Heaven, they are waiting for my prayers to be published, and every prayer that goes out erases another atom [bomb] and another atom. This needs to reach the Golan, and from Eilat to Metula, and everywhere people go, they will see these prayers."

The Rav spoke with me and told me, "All the physical suffering that I endure, with excruciating pain in my leg to the point where I cannot step on it due to the agony, and all the pains I have in my body, literally feeling like holes—this is all due to the blemishes of the covenant (sexual sins) from all 6,000 years of history, and I am taking these sufferings upon myself."

Erev Shabbos Kodesh (Friday), Parshas Chukas

"My prayers will be for all generations." His daughter Miri, may she live, asked, "Abba, what do you mean by 'for all generations'?" The Rav answered and said, "Simply as it sounds. Even when our righteous Mashiach comes, my prayers will be for every Jew." The Rav repeated several times the phrase, "These prayers will be for all generations."

Sunday, Parshas Pinchas

I went in to see him, and he told me, "Now we will write a prayer for Tisha B'Av." The Rav lifted the two prayers regarding Hashem's love for us and the tzaddik's love for us, and said, "I read these prayers from beginning to end," and he praised them immensely.

Monday, Parshas Matos-Masei

Michael asked Ephraim for a prayer or a ma'amar (discourse) from the Rav shlit"a. This was after a transition regarding the apartment by the wall, and a great strengthening in the practice of Hisbodedus (personal prayer). I deeply desired that the Rav would write a letter about Hisbodedus, similar to Rabbi Yitzchak Breiter, Hy"d (may Hashem avenge his blood), and I even mentioned this to several members of our community (Anash). Ephraim asked the Rav with these exact words: "If possible, please, could we have a prayer or a ma'amar on Hisbodedus?" The Rav shlit"a wrote an incredibly awesome and wondrous ma'amar. When Ephraim brought me the letter, I immediately transcribed it. However, because I couldn't understand one of the words, it was brought back to the Rav shlit"a to clarify what was written.

Ephraim asked the Rav with great interest (since I had told Ephraim about how I do Hisbodedus out in the field regarding the prayers and emunah in the tzaddik), "Is the Rav writing this letter for everyone, or for someone specific?"

The Rav answered, "I am writing this for everyone, and for someone specific." And the Rav smiled a very special smile.

Through this, I once again felt the love of the tzaddik and a face-to-face revelation through hidden love.

When the first part of the letter was written, up to the words "face to face," I thought in my heart how much I longed for the name of the Rav shlit"a to be signed on the letter, like setting a permanent seal in blood and clay upon the words of the tzaddik.

When Ephraim brought the letter back, I was amazed once again to see that the tzaddik knows everything—even my innermost thoughts that I hadn't revealed to anyone. There is no doubt that these matters are a "supreme wonder."

Sunday, Parshas Ki Seitzei

Ephraim entered the Rav's house downstairs. Without knowing that the Rav was in the room, I heard him telling someone who was there for a private audience (Kabalas Kahal), "I have a student who writes my prayers for me; his name is Michael Toito." Then, when I walked in, the Rav smiled at me.

Monday, Parshas Ki Seitzei

Ephraim asked for a prayer regarding the [Rosh Hashanah custom of eating the] head of a ram. The Rav gave him a lesson on the matter: "People don't just eat the head of a ram merely to 'be a head and not a tail.' Rather, it is to teach you that your head should be like that of a ram or a fish—completely free of foreign thoughts."

Friday, Parshas Toldos 5779

"You can ask for prayers whenever you want, even in the middle of my learning. However, if it is about a different topic, you need to wait 5 minutes to let the mind settle (nicha l'mochin) so that new ideas can enter. If you ask for several prayers at once, then I will write all of them on the same topic."

"'Those who bless you are blessed' (Mevarechecha Baruch). You must bless the tzaddikim, and not just wait for them to bless you. By blessing the tzaddikim, the verse 'Those who bless you are blessed' is fulfilled, and at that very moment, you yourself are blessed."