Prayers for Clinging to the Tzaddik - For Review

Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Please grant us the merit, from the time we enter the yoke of the commandments, to accept upon ourselves every day, every hour, and every moment the yoke of the Torah's commandments with awe and love, with trembling and quaking, with fear and reverence, with immense joy, gladness, and song. Please grant us the merit to know and remember that every person is obligated to say, "The entire world was created only for me," so that we may look and examine its rectification and fill its deficiencies through our yearnings, our prayers, and our good deeds. Please, Merciful and Gracious One, grant us the merit to conduct ourselves in all our ways with holiness and modesty—whether we are lying down or rising up, sitting in our homes or walking on the way—until we are freed from every trace of lust, and there remains in us no scent of the lusts of this world whatsoever. Before we go out into the street, let us place before our eyes the prayer of that righteous woman who would fall on her face and say: "Master of the Universe, You created the Garden of Eden and You created Gehenna (Hell); You created tzaddikim and You created wicked ones. May it be Your will that people do not stumble because of me." Master of the Universe, grant us the merit to conduct ourselves with holiness and to be modest as we walk, and also to guard our eyes from the sights of this world, until we merit to be engraved upon the Throne of Glory. Our Father in Heaven, You created us so that we may ascend the rungs of purity and cleanness, and cling to the tzaddikim of the generations, to fulfill our destiny to return to the rock from which we were hewn, and to return to You a rectified world under the sovereignty of the Almighty. Therefore, please, Merciful and Gracious Father, grant us the merit to awaken with fierce yearnings to ascend higher and higher in the levels of holiness, loving-kindness, piety, purity, and modesty. May there be within us a love of Torah and the fear of Heaven, with shame suffused upon our faces, until we merit to reach, or at least touch, the level of our holy forefathers and mothers. Please grant us the merit to place before our eyes the righteous women: Serach the daughter of Asher, who completed the transmission from one faithful one to another; and Bithiah the daughter of Pharaoh, who merited to shed their physical bodies and receive a holy body from the Garden of Eden; and our mothers Eve and Sarah, who shone like the sun from one end of the world to the other, until we merit to hear the song of the grasses and the flowers, and the melody of the trees and the vegetation, singing to the Creator, blessed be He, without any ulterior motive, with longing and yearning, their voices traveling from one end of the world to the other. Our Father, Merciful Father, grant us the merit to be sanctified and purified until we merit the light of the grace and loving-kindness of Miriam the Prophetess, who, in her great kindness, revived the children and redeemed the people of Israel. She also watered the entire nation of Israel during their wanderings in the desert from the warmth of her heart, from the well created at twilight, which the Patriarchs dug, which circulates through all the springs on Saturday nights and is destined to emerge and be revealed from the Holy of Holies to water and sweeten all the rivers and seas. Also, grant us the merit of the light of Deborah the Prophetess, who, in her great kindness and with the fire of her torches, judged and redeemed Israel. Please grant us the merit to also be pursuers of charity and loving-kindness, and to merit the light of the masters of kindness in every generation, like Rebecca, toward whom the waters rose, and like the woman of Zarephath, for whom all the gates of wisdom and understanding were opened, and the rains descended for her sake, the jar of flour was not exhausted, and the jug of oil did not lack, until we merit the light of the Matriarchs, whose candles never extinguished, whose dough was blessed, and whose tents were tied with a cloud above them. Grant us the modesty of Queen Esther, who never asked or requested anything except Hashem alone, which is why Hashem desired her and made her queen over one hundred and twenty-seven provinces, by the power of the one hundred and twenty-seven years of holiness and modesty of our mother Sarah, who merited that the nation of Israel would emerge from her loins. Yes, my Father in Heaven, grant us the merit as well that six hundred thousand should emerge from our loins, and that we too, like Rachel and Leah, may build the House of Israel and sing aloud on the heights of Mount Zion, to sing and dance before the King of Glory, as it is stated: "Then the virgin shall rejoice in the dance... and they shall come and sing aloud on the height of Zion, and they shall be radiant over the goodness of Hashem, and their soul shall be like a watered garden." For there is a reward for your action, says Hashem, and there is hope for your future, and the children shall return to their borders.
Master of the Universe, I know that You are with me, beside me, and near me at every moment and time, and You renew my strength every single second. Therefore, please save me from the old and foolish king, which is the Evil Inclination, the leaven in the dough, which prevents us from drawing close to You. Save me from all the descents, falls, failures, and crises that pass over us at all times, for the Evil Inclination tries to cast us down and make us despair, making us think there is no hope, Heaven forbid. It inserts evil thoughts into us, telling us that we are incapable of studying Torah properly, or educating our children, or earning a parnassah (livelihood) according to our needs, and it makes us fall in tests of emunah (faith) as if all hope is lost, Heaven forbid. In truth, even though we have overcome it many times, it tries again and again to trap us in its net, may the Merciful One save us. But we trust and believe in You, our Father, our King, Merciful King, that in the merit of the desires and yearnings we have to draw close to You, You will not abandon us and You will give us the strength to start anew. Thus, we will merit once again all the true abundance in Torah study, health, and good parnassah, "And he who trusts in Hashem, loving-kindness will surround him." Master of the Universe, Almighty, help me to desire You, and instill within me strong desires and yearnings to draw close to You and Your service. May I always be renewed like a newborn child and not fall, Heaven forbid, into spiritual old age. May I know that even at an advanced age, it is possible to start anew, for "there is no despair in the world at all." I will trust in the power of the true tzaddik to pull me out and elevate me even from the pit and the lowest depths, for it is within the power of the true tzaddik to pull me out and elevate me in any situation. Master of the Universe, have mercy on me, upon someone as distant and lowly as I am, for only You can save me, and with Hashem's help, the salvation will come, and I believe that every delay is for the best. Merciful Father, teach my tongue to always say, "This too is for the best," and "Whatever the Merciful One does, He does for the best," because truly, everything You do with me is certainly for the best. May I always merit complete faith that all my experiences are for my benefit. May I always experience miracles and wonders, just as "Nachum Ish Gamzu" experienced, when the dust turned into arrows and swords in the merit of Elijah the Prophet. Merciful King, strengthen me so that I may endure, for the ultimate good will come, and I know that the tests come only to forge and strengthen me. But what can I do, that at the moment of the test, my mind and my awareness depart, and I fall due to the departure of Da'as (spiritual awareness). Therefore, Merciful Father, place it in my heart to know that there is always a chance and hope, and may I merit to truly believe that if one can break, one can fix. For surely, by believing in Your salvation, I will merit to see it soon, like Rabbi Akiva, who did not despair even though twenty-four thousand of his students died, and he subsequently raised five students from whom the Torah went out to Israel. So too, I will never despair, and I will know that after every ascent there is a descent, and I will not lose my spirit because of this. I will know that after the descent there is an ascent, and I will be expert in "running and returning" (spiritual oscillation). I will merit patience and waiting in the service of Hashem, and through this, I will see miracles, wonders, and salvations, and I will be a part of the Holy Sanctuary and the Holy Temple. Master of the Universe, grant me the merit every day to engage in conversations with friends, to speak with God-fearing friends about the true purpose of life, and to receive from my friends the good points within them. Let each man say to his friend, "Be strong!" and let the words enter our hearts until we become a flaming fire for Your service. Please help me every day to be born anew, and let the verse be fulfilled in me, "You are My son, today I have begotten you." May I find, through the true tzaddik, all the lost items I have lost, and may I merit to cling to the true tzaddik, who will give me wondrous advice on how to renew myself, and through this, we will merit a new, good, and happy life, Amen.
"Do not touch My anointed ones, and do no harm to My prophets." Master of the Universe, Almighty, guard me with utmost vigilance that I should not speak against tzaddikim, nor harbor second thoughts about tzaddikim. For anyone who harbors second thoughts about his rabbi is as if he harbors second thoughts about the Shechinah (Divine Presence). For the tzaddikim are the face of the Shechinah, and they themselves are the Shechinah that descends below ten handbreadths and clothes itself within the bodies and forms of people; but in essence, they are the very essence of the Shechinah, for the soul of the tzaddikim is drawn from the Primordial Man of the Primordial Man (Adam Kadmon d'Adam Kadmon). Therefore, the verse continues and says, "He called a famine upon the land; He broke every staff of bread." For if, Heaven forbid, people do not believe in the tzaddikim, immediately following those improper thoughts comes famine, a lack of bread, and drought without rain. Just as there were seven years in Egypt and throughout the entire world, where immediately after the selling of Joseph, Hashem decreed a famine upon the land for seven years until they did teshuvah (repentance). Only then did Joseph himself come and nullify the seven years of famine, for Joseph is the provider for all the people of the land, and he sustained them all according to the little ones, for they went down to Egypt with seventy souls.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Mighty One, our Mighty One, Hashem our Lord, how mighty is Your name in all the earth. And Hashem shall be King over all the earth; on that day Hashem will be One and His name One. Grant me the merit of the verse, "Set me as a seal upon Your heart, as a seal upon Your arm, for love is as strong as death, jealousy is as hard as the grave; its flashes are flashes of fire, the flame of God." May I always be attached to the true tzaddik, as it is stated, "Light is sown for the tzaddik, and joy for the upright of heart." May we merit a dwelling in Jerusalem near the Third Wall, five magnificent rooms without any debts. [Gematria calculations:] Adir (Mighty) is 215. Zakeini (Grant me merit) is 87. Adireinu (Our Mighty One) is 271. Simeni (Set me) is 410. Hashem is 26. Kachotam (As a seal) is 474. Adoneinu (Our Lord) is 117. Al (Upon) is 100. Mah (How) is 45. Libecha (Your heart) is 52. Adir (Mighty) is 215. Al (Upon) is 100. Shimcha (Your name) is 360. Zro'acha (Your arm) is 300. B'chol (In all) is 52. Or (Light) is 207. Ha'aretz (The earth) is 296. Zaru'a (Sown) is 283. V'haya (And shall be) is 26. LaTzaddik (For the tzaddik) is 234. Hashem is 26. [Total:] 2724. L'Melech (As King) is 120. Al (Over) is 100. Ha'aretz (The earth) is 58. BaYom (On the day) is 58. HaHu (That) is 17. Yihyeh (Will be) is 26. Hashem is 26. Echad (One) is 13. U'Shmo (And His name) is 352. Echad (One) is 13. [Total:] 2724.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. In the merit of Abaye and Rava, who encompass all the holy and awesome Divine Names: A"B, Sa"G, Ma"H, Ba"N. Please Hashem, Mighty One, our Mighty One, Hashem our Lord, how mighty is Your name in all the earth. And Hashem shall be King over all the earth; on that day Hashem will be One and His name One. Grant me the merit to know the Talmud (Shas), Ketzot HaChoshen, Likutey Moharan, Likutey Halachot, Sipurei Ma'asiyot, and Likutey Tefillot, word for word, letter by letter, with broad proficiency and deep analysis, as it is stated, "Praiseworthy is he who comes here with his learning in his hand" [Pesachim]. May all my days be spent in teshuvah (repentance), prayer, and charity, as it is stated, "Repentance, prayer, and charity avert the evil decree." May I merit to truly be a guardian of the holy covenant, and may I know that upon every forbidden woman crouch 18,000 trillion trillions of angels of destruction. Please, Creator of cures, Awesome in praises, Merciful Father, grant me the merit to cling to the true tzaddik who is the Light of Lights, as it is stated, "Light is sown for the tzaddik, and joy for the upright of heart." May I merit, Hashem is One, to truly be dust and ashes like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. [Gematria calculations:] Abaye is 23. U'Teshuvah (And repentance) is 767. V'Rava is 209. U'Tefillah (And prayer) is 521. [Total:] 232. U'Tzedakah (And charity) is 205. A"B is 72. Ma'avirin (Avert) is 382. Sa"G is 65. Et is 401. M"B is 42. Ro'a (The evil of) is 276. Ba"N is 52. HaGezeirah (The decree) is 220. [Total:] 232. Borei (Creator of) is 209. Adir (Mighty) is 215. Refu'ot (Cures) is 693. Adireinu (Our Mighty One) is 271. Nora (Awesome in) is 257. Hashem is 26. Tehillot (Praises) is 841. Adoneinu (Our Lord) is 117. Or (Light) is 207. Mah (How) is 45. Zaru'a (Sown) is 283. Adir (Mighty) is 215. LaTzaddik (For the tzaddik) is 234. Shimcha (Your name) is 360. [Total:] 2724. B'chol (In all) is 52. Echad (One) is 1. Ha'aretz (The earth) is 296. Afar (Dust) is 350. V'haya (And shall be) is 26. V'efer (And ashes) is 287. Hashem is 26. [Total:] 638. L'Melech (As King) is 120. Avraham is 248. Al (Over) is 100. Yitzchak is 208. Kol (All) is 50. Yaakov is 152. Ha'aretz (The earth) is 296. [Total:] 638. BaYom (On the day) is 296. HaHu (That) is 58. Yihyeh (Will be) is 17. Hashem is 26. Echad (One) is 30. U'Shmo (And His name) is 352. Echad (One) is 13. [Total:] 2724.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, grant me the merit to reach the pinnacle of perfection and to be filled with wisdom and knowledge. May the verse be fulfilled in us: "And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out My spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions. And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth, blood, and fire, and pillars of smoke." May I merit to be a prophetess like Miriam the Prophetess and Deborah the Prophetess. May all my days be attached solely to the true tzaddik, Rebbe Nachman son of Simcha son of Feiga, who teaches us that there is none holy like Hashem, for there is none besides You, and there is no rock like our God. Please Hashem, who by His word created the heavens, and by the breath of His mouth all their host, grant me the merit all the days of my life to spend my time exclusively in teshuvah (repentance), prayer, and charity. In this merit, may I merit to spend all the days of my life as if in the Garden of Eden and in the tranquility of Shabbat. [Gematria calculations:] L'Si (To the pinnacle) is 341. Asher (Who) is 501. HaShlemut (Perfection) is 781. B'Ma'amaro (By His word) is 203. Mele'ah (Filled) is 76. Bara (Created) is 203. Chochmah (Wisdom) is 73. Shechakim (Heavens) is 458. V'Da'at (And knowledge) is 480. [Total:] 1451. B'Teshuvah (In repentance) is 715. HaTzaddik (The tzaddik) is 206. U'Tefillah (And prayer) is 531. Ein (There is none) is 61. U'Tzedakah (And charity) is 205. Kadosh (Holy) is 410. [Total:] 1451. K'Hashem (Like Hashem) is 46. U'B'Shalvat (And in the tranquility of) is 744. Ki (For) is 30. HaShabbat (Shabbat) is 707. Ein (There is none) is 61. [Total:] 1451. Bilt'cha (Besides You) is 452. V'Ein (And there is no) is 67. Tzur (Rock) is 296. K'Elokeinu (Like our God) is 122. [Total:] 1751.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, grant me the merit to cling to the tzaddikim, who say little and do much, like our forefather Abraham and Eliezer, who said little and did much. Eliezer brought with him nose-rings, diamonds, and pearls, delicacies and gifts, the most precious fruits in the world, fruits from the Land of Israel. "For whoever fulfills the transaction of a tzaddik is as if he fulfilled all the Ten Commandments." But Ephron said much, and did not even do a little. For Ephron in Gematria is "Ra Ayin" (Evil Eye) = 400, corresponding to the 400 mighty men of Esau. And the Gematria of "Sak" (Sackcloth) is 400, because only by wearing sackcloth and ashes is it possible to subdue Ephron and the 400 mighty men who walk with Esau. Through this, we merit Elijah the Prophet, remembered for good, whose Gematria is 400, the same Gematria as Ephron, who is the guardian of the Cave of Machpelah, and who awakens Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob every single morning.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, grant me the merit to be attached to the true tzaddik with all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews, with all my Nefesh, Ruach, Neshamah, Chayah, and Yechidah (the five levels of the soul). Through this, Hashem is One (1), I will find all my lost items in the blink (305) of an eye (130) = 435, in the merit of Hashem is One (1), Mashiach (358) ben (52) David (24) = 435. And the verse will be fulfilled in me: "How (36) could one (13) chase (300) a thousand (111), and two (400) = 861 put ten thousand to flight." Through this, I will merit to be attached to Mattityahu (861) the Jew, the High Priest, and through this, I will merit Rosh (501) Hashanah (360) = 861, in the merit of the Tzaddik (209) Yesod (80) Olam (Foundation of the World) (146) = 435, Rebbe Nachman son of Simcha son of Feiga.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, grant me the merit to never depart, even in thought, from the tent of the tzaddik. I will never abandon the tzaddik, even in thought, and no consideration will ever enter my heart to abandon the tzaddik even for a single second, or even for a trillionth of a second. Always, all the days of my life, I will dwell for all eternity in the tent of the tzaddik. With all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews, with all the breath of my mouth and nose, and with all my Nefesh, Ruach, Neshamah, Chayah, and Yechidah, I will be attached to the tzaddik as an eternal decree. I will never abandon the tzaddik, and I will not divert my attention from him even for a single second, even for a trillionth of a second. The verse will be fulfilled in me: "And no alienated person shall eat of it," meaning that anyone who is in the category of an "alienated person" will not be able to taste from the great light of the tzaddik. Through this, fire and brimstone will be scattered upon the tent of the wicked: "Brimstone shall be scattered upon his habitation" (Job 18:15).
Master of the Universe, may I merit to be attached to the tzaddik twenty-four hours a day, and every second I will think only of the tzaddik, for the tzaddik is the space [of holiness]. Through this, all the spirit of folly will depart from me, and I will merit to be holy and pure until the end of my life. I will not look at any woman in the world at all. I will know the entire Talmud along with the Rambam, Tur, Shulchan Aruch, and all the commentaries. I will merit to study truly for the sake of Heaven, to raise the Shechinah (Divine Presence) from the dust, for the sake of His Name with love. I will be entirely for the sake of Heaven. I will minimize my sleep and eating, and through this, I will merit to be sanctified with the holiness of the Holy of Holies. I will merit to be worthy of being a Breslov Chassid and to be called by the name of Rebbe Nachman. Wherever I go, I will only sanctify the name of Rebbe Nachman, as I carry his name upon me. I will be sanctified and purified with the utmost holiness and purity, and I will guard my eyes completely, and I will never look at any woman again forever.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Grant me the merit with all my strength to have faith in the true tzaddikim, in the true sages, and in all of Israel. I will no longer hold a grudge against any friend in the world, even if they cause me all the suffering in the world. As it is written in Hilchot Tefillin 5:17 (Biur, column 134, page 67b): One must draw patience into the heart, which is the suppression of anger within the heart, so that one does not hold a grudge at all, even in his heart. This is the essence of patience. As Rebbe Nachman said about himself, that he merited this level in the Land of Israel—to have such patience that he had no trace of anger or resentment in his heart, even toward his greatest enemy who caused him all the suffering in the world. Nevertheless, he had no hatred or resentment in his heart. This is the essence of patience. Therefore, one must extend the strap [of the Tefillin] down to the heart, to bring the attribute of patience into the heart, meaning that one should not hold a grudge and should not care about anything, even in his heart. May I merit to love all my friends with a whole heart, and I will always forgive them and pardon them with a whole heart. I will never have any trace of anger or resentment toward them, even if they cause me all the suffering in the world. Also, regarding my rabbi and teacher, I will always judge him favorably, as it is written, "Judge every person favorably." And the Divrei Chaim, the Admor of Sanz, says that you must also judge your rabbi favorably. I will always forgive my rabbi and teacher for whatever he does to me, and I will begin to return to the faith in the sages (Emunat Chachamim) just as I had at the beginning of my drawing close. I will have that exact same faith in the sages, with the same burning passion and joy that I once had. I will love my rabbi and teacher with all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews, and all my limbs will blaze like torches. Twice "Lapid" (torch) is 248. Twice 248 is "Levyatan" (Leviathan), which is the secret of the true tzaddik who is called Leviathan, as the Zohar (Ki Teitzei) states: "Because you are Leviathan" (279a).
Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Upon reaching the age of 30, grant me the merit to pour out my heart like water before You. Guide me (124) in my life (30) with a pillar (122) of cloud (170) by day (96), and with a pillar (128) of fire (301) by night (75) = 1046. Please Hashem (26), answer me (180). May I merit to be attached all my days to the tzaddik (206), Torah scholar (484), wise man (68), and pious one (82) = true and humble (1046). May the verse be fulfilled in me: "And the path (209) of the righteous (254) is like the light (227) of dawn (58), shining ever brighter until the full light of day." And lead me with mercy (298) = 1046. May I merit that in every moment of the days of my life, all 56 candles that illuminated during the days of Chanukah in the Holy Temple will shine for me. In this merit, may I merit to be impregnated with the soul of Mashiach (358) ben (52) Yosef (156), Mashiach (358) ben (52) David (14) = 1046, who will build the Holy Temple speedily in our days, in the blink of an eye, Amen, Netzach, Selah, Va'ed.
Master of the Universe, grant me the merit to be included in the Supernal Will, in the holy Patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and to be included in the Supernal Joy, the Light of the Seven Days. I will not turn from Your will to the right or to the left. I will merit to fulfill Your complete will, and I will never look at any woman in the world at all. In all my unifications with my wife, I will feel the awesome pains of circumcision and even more than that. Through this, I will merit to never leave the tzaddik, and I will no longer harbor any second thoughts about the tzaddik in the world at all. I will merit to be attached to the tzaddik twenty-four hours a day without any diversion of thought in the world at all. I will merit to subdue the husk (klipah) of Laban (82) and Esau (376) = Chatan (Groom) = 458, by meriting to be a true groom. And through meriting to be a true groom (458), I will merit to subdue the husk of Laban (82) and Esau (376) = 458. Through this, I will merit that the leakage will stop completely, and I will merit to increase my journeys to the graves of tzaddikim. I will merit the Light of the Seven Days, and through this, I will merit to honor my wife with all kinds of honor and to listen to her voice in everything. I will merit that my wife will be a Woman of Valor, the crown of her husband, in the secret of "A Woman of Valor, who can find?"—the final letters of which equal 441. The final letters have the Gematria of Emet (Truth) = 441. Please, Merciful and Gracious One, grant me the merit that my wife will be a surrounding light for my head, a crown for my head, the secret of the Tzitz (High Priest's headplate), the holy diadem. And by my wife being a crown for my head in the secret of the Tzitz, the holy diadem, I will merit that all the secrets of the Torah of Atika Kadisha (the Holy Ancient One) will be revealed. I will merit the river that flows from the Supernal Eden, the Torah of Atika Setima'ah (the Concealed Ancient One). Through this, I will merit the "Desire of all Desires" that is established in the forehead, and I will merit the Forehead of Will, to the Supernal Will, in which Moses, the Faithful Shepherd, is included, in the secret of the "Desire of all Desires," in the secret of "In this desire, Moses ascended."
Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Grant me the merit to escape the terrible blemish of "women until the breathing out of the soul," for I have fallen into the lust for women up to my nose. I am sunk all day in filth and disgust, in the miry clay, with no place to stand. Every single second I blemish my eyes, and I forget that I am before the eyes of all Israel, that all of Israel sees me every single second. "A bird of the skies will carry the sound, and a winged creature will tell the matter," for every moment a person opens his eyes, the angels immediately proclaim in all the supernal and lower chambers: "Distance yourselves from so-and-so! Let so-and-so be excommunicated!" Therefore, everyone hates me and distances themselves from me. Please, Merciful and Gracious One, how long will I remain in the terrible husk of "women until the breathing out of the soul," where with every single breath I think forbidden thoughts, instead of being attached to the true tzaddik with every single breath? Therefore, from now on, grant me the merit to breathe breaths only from the true tzaddik and not, Heaven forbid, from the Sitra Achra (the Other Side). Transform me from a completely wicked person to a completely righteous person in the blink of an eye (435), in the merit of the Tzaddik Yesod Olam (Foundation of the World) (435).
Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Upon reaching the age of 49, grant me the merit of the 49 Gates of the Holy Torah. Grant me the merit, Merciful and Gracious One, in the merit of my having intention in every single word and every single letter in the Shemoneh Esrei prayer, where the initials of the blessings equal 1800. May I merit to study the Talmud (Shas), Gemara, Rambam, Tur, Shulchan Aruch, and all their commentaries. Grant me the merit of the revelation of Elijah (52) the Prophet (68), remembered (233) for good (47). Please Hashem is One = 1. Grant me the merit to be attached to true tzaddikim, all of whom are a flaming fire for You, and great (93) tzaddikim (260) from the ministering (905) angels (141) = 1800. For their entire bodies are cast from 248 torches of fire. May I merit to guard my eyes, and may I merit an hour of Hisbodedus (secluded prayer) every single day. May I merit, God (31) full (71) of mercy (298), Hashem is One = 1, to loving-kindness (102), severity (216), and beauty (1081) = 1800. Save me from the evil (270) eye (130) +. In this merit, may I merit, Hashem is One = + 1, to be healed in the blink of an eye with signs (815) and wonders (584) = 1800.
Master of the Universe, full of mercy, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Grant me the merit to remain with the true tzaddik—I, my offspring, and my offspring's offspring, until the end of all generations. You know the bitterness of my soul, that there is no one as lowly in the entire world as I am. Never has there been created a creature as inferior as I am, full of evil lusts, crookedness, and deceit, without measure and without limit. And now, from where will my help come? How will I save my soul from all that is passing over me? Therefore, I have come to You, Master of Mercy, with a broken and crushed heart, with a bowed stature and a lowly spirit. I ask of You that I may know faithfully that there is no creature lowlier than me in the world, nor has there been, nor will there be. Give me Da'as (spiritual awareness), and to my sons, my daughters, all my offspring, and my offspring's offspring until the end of all generations, to be bound to the true tzaddik with all our Nefesh, Ruach, and Neshamah, with all our 248 limbs and 365 sinews. May I merit—I, my sons, my daughters, all my offspring, and my offspring's offspring until the end of all generations—that from every single movement of ours there will be a unification of the Holy One, blessed be He, and His Shechinah. May all the worlds be unified, from the beginning point of Creation to the ultimate end of Action, and may they all be included in the Primordial Man, in the Primordial Man, until we know faithfully—I, my offspring, and my offspring's offspring—that there is no world at all. May You always renew us for the good, and may our Nefesh, Ruach, and Neshamah be included in the Nefesh, Ruach, and Neshamah of the true tzaddik, with all our 248 limbs and 365 sinews, so that we never divert our attention from the true tzaddik at all, and we sense him in every single movement and in every single breath until the end of all generations.
Master of the Universe, upon reaching the age of 24 in the month of Shevat, the month of song and melody, which is the secret of the "Kad-H" (Her pitcher - 24) of Rebecca, about which it is said, "And behold, her pitcher was on her shoulder." This is the secret of the crown of Leah, which corresponds to the back of the neck, the secret of the knot of the Tefillin. Knot (600) of (330) Tefillin (580) = 1510. The secret of "You (406) with Your hand (34) drove out (911) nations (59)." The secret of "Lech (50) Lecha (50)" = 1510 ["from your land, from your birthplace, and from your father's house"]. May I merit now, at the age of 24, to fulfill the secret of the pitcher (Kad) of Rebecca, the secret of her pitcher on her shoulder, corresponding to the knot of the Tefillin. The secret of the crown of Leah. May I merit to fulfill the commandment of "Lech Lecha" (Go forth): "from your land" - that I may merit already to leave my earthliness; "from your birthplace" - from all the bad nature I received at birth; "and from your father's house" - and from all the bad habits I received from my father's house. May I merit to be attached to the true tzaddik, who is entirely song and melody, as it is written, "Singers (550) and dancers (144) alike [will say], 'All (50) my wellsprings (180) are in you (22)'" = 946 + 3 words + 6 letters = 955. Especially since I merited to be born in the month of song and melody, which is a preparation for the day of the fall of Haman's ten sons, who fell through song and melody, and a preparation for the days of Passover, about which it is said, "The song shall be for you as in the night when a festival is sanctified." For then was the downfall of Haman through the four angels: Michael (101), Nuriel (297), Gabriel (246), Raphael (311) = 955. Through Mordechai and Esther, who spent all their days in humility (133) and lowliness (822) = 955. Through this, may my wife and I merit to be like Mordechai (294) and Esther (661) = 955, and to be like Mattityahu (881) and his sons (74) = 955.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Upon reaching the age of 18, grant me the merit to pour out my heart like water before You every single day. May I merit from now on to be attached with all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews to the true tzaddikim, all (50) of whose words (261) are like coals (71) of fire (301) = 683. May I merit to think day and night only about the true tzaddikim, and specifically, may I merit to be attached with all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews to the holy (415) Rebbe (268) = 683, the awesome Rebbe Nachman son of Simcha son of Feiga, the Holy of Holies. May I merit to be holy and pure at the level of the holy and awesome Rebbe, who promised "exactly like me." May I merit to be like Cheftzi-Bah, the wife of King Hezekiah, who will come and herald the Geulah (Redemption), as it is written: "Ascend upon a high mountain, O herald of Zion; lift up your voice with strength, O herald of Jerusalem; lift it up, fear not; say to the cities of Judah, 'Behold your God!' Behold, the Lord God will come with a strong hand, and His arm shall rule for Him; behold, His reward is with Him, and His recompense before Him. He will feed His flock like a shepherd, He will gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young. Bring them to pasture in Jacob His people, and in Israel His inheritance. And He shepherded them according to the integrity of His heart, and guided them by the skillfulness of His hands." May I merit the crown (620) of grace (63) = 683, and beauty is vain. Through this, may I merit to always be attached to the secret (72) of the Torah (611) = 683, and to draw sustenance solely from the inner dimensions of the Torah.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Grant me the merit to pour out my heart like water before You. May I merit to be attached to the true tzaddik (204) with all my 248 limbs and 365 sinews, with all my Nefesh, Ruach, Neshamah, Chayah, and Yechidah. Through this, may the souls of Sarah (505), Rebecca (307), Rachel (238), and Leah (36) = 1290 be impregnated within me. "Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust (20) and not (37) be afraid (93)." Free me from all fears, and may I never sit in prison. Cancel all judgments against me, for there is none (61) great (43) like Hashem (46). Through this, may I merit to see the revelation of Mashiach (358) ben (52) Yosef (156), Mashiach (358) ben (52) David (14) = 1290, and the building of the Holy Temple in the blink of an eye, Amen, Netzach, Selah, Va'ed.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, Hashem is One = 1. In the merit of the study of the Talmud (Shas) = 360 that I will study day and night, establish Jerusalem = 586 as a praise (440) in the earth (293) = 1580. Please Hashem, who is good and forgiving to all who call upon You. In the merit of my studying the Talmud (Shas - 360) every day for eight hours, grant me the merit that the verse be fulfilled in me: "And all (50) the people (115) saw (217), and they fell (132) on (100) their faces (185); and they said (263), 'Hashem (26), He (12) is the God (91); Hashem (26), He (12) is the God (91)'" = 1580. Master of the Universe, in the merit of studying the Talmud for eight hours every day, fulfill in me the verse: "My soul (440) clings (111) after You (239); Your right hand supports me" (Psalms 63:9). In the merit of studying the Talmud, I will receive Da'as (spiritual awareness) and I will never become angry again, for "A soft (220) answer (165) turns away (322) wrath (53)" = 1580. I will merit to draw close all my days, in the merit of studying the Talmud for eight hours, to the tzaddik (234) of tzaddikim (556). Through this, all who see me will say that he (12) is (30) a grandson (74) of Abraham (278), Isaac (208), and Jacob (188) = 1580, each of whom merited the level of "dust and ashes" and never became angry, but only forgave everyone with complete forgiveness.
Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Grant me the merit from today for the holiness of the covenant in truth. May I merit from now on to guard the holy covenant and not blemish it in any way, neither in thought nor in deed. May I merit from now on to guard my eyes with the utmost vigilance, and I will never again look at any forbidden woman, Heaven forbid, nor any forbidden girl, Heaven forbid. May I merit to truly cling to the true tzaddikim, and through this, may I merit to do teshuvah (repentance) out of love, and all my sins will be transformed into merits.
With the help of Hashem... (Natan Shabtai, 26 Iyar 5762). Master of the Universe, Almighty, from whom no purpose can be withheld. Grant me the merit to study Torah in holiness and purity by day (96) and by night (81) = 177, without ceasing. May I merit to taste the taste of the Garden (53) of Eden (124) = 177 in every moment and second. I will never again look at any forbidden girl, Heaven forbid, nor any forbidden woman, Heaven forbid. May I merit to be attached to the true tzaddik, for (30) You (406), Hashem (26) God (86), are truth (441), and Your word (232) is truth (441) and endures (156) forever (104) + 1 = 1923. All day long I will be attached to the truth (441) of our holy (420) Torah (1062) = 1923. May I merit to be one who forgives all and pardons all, and whoever overlooks (333) his (466) measures (100) [retaliation], they overlook (372) for him (36) all (50) his transgressions (456) = 1923.