Rare Words Never Heard Before: The Story of Rabbi Michael Gol shlit"a's Journey to Closeness Part 1

The emotional story of the journey to closeness of the esteemed Rabbi Michael Gol shlit"a, head of the 'Mageney Eretz' Yeshiva in Jerusalem and one of the veteran and renowned students of the esteemed Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a. This conversation about his journey to closeness is very rare, as Rabbi Gol himself testifies later on, "A wonder of wonders, my son always asks me to tell the story and I have never told it, so in fact, they still do not know the story".

In Breslov, they did not teach Torah publicly in front of friends

Rabbi Gol opens the discussion he delivered on the 28th of Av 5765, "There is a story among Anash that one would speak before an audience only on the condition that he did not see his friend, Reb Nachman of Tulchin (Rabbi Nachman Chazan, 1813–1884, 5574–5644, was a close student of Rabbi Natan of Breslov, and served as a central figure in the growth of Breslov Chassidut in the mid-19th century.) would not agree to speak whenRabbi Reb Nachman of Tcherin (Rabbi Nachman Goldstein, known as "Reb Nachman of Tcherin", or "Baal HaParparot", 1825–1894, was the Rabbi of the city of Tcherin in Ukraine, a close student of Rabbi Natan Sternhartz of Breslov, and a central figure in passing on the Breslov tradition to future generations.) was in the room. So Rabbi of Tcherin would enter secretly. Our teacher Rav Berland once said about Rabbi of Tcherin that he was the greatest scholar of his generation, only because he was a Breslov chassid, it was hidden."

All thoughts of teshuvah come from the tzaddik

"It is a wonder of wonders how the tzaddik plants thoughts in a person. Today I look back, the Rebbe says, "Every thought of teshuvah in the world comes from me." If a person merits, he is immediately shown where his thought of teshuvah comes from, and if not, he must go through many transitions and clarifications until he understands that the thought of teshuvah came from the tzaddik. Our teacher Rav Berland always mentions this, that one goes through clarifications until they understand that the thought of teshuvah is from the tzaddik."

Even my close family does not know my story of coming closer

"A wonder of wonders, my son always asks me to tell the story and I have never told it, so in fact, they still do not know the story. My journey to closeness began through my older brother, who even when we were young, had the matter of self-searching. The difference between us was three years, and while others were busy with the vanities of this world, I was a listening ear to him."

My brother began the search for spirituality and drew me with him

"The story begins during my brother's military service, he had a friend on the base who was involved in various meditations and such things. My brother was strongly captivated by the idea and drew me along with him. The difference was that he entered the matter with his whole being, while I had reservations about the subject. I felt that there was a point of truth here, that this whole world is vanity of vanities, and that a person should aspire to spirituality, but it was still difficult to detach from the materialism of the world."

"I don't want to elaborate on this, as our Rebbe says that every sect has its methods and explanations, and even here it is not advisable to elaborate on them. It has an attraction for those seeking spirituality and Judaism is still distant from them, as our Rebbe talks about the bridge over the treasure in Vienna."

In my childhood, I grew up in religious frameworks

"In fact, I grew up in a religious home and all the years I was in a religious school, while my brother was pressured by the teachers to leave and go to a secular high school. He was very talented, a bright future awaited him, and the secular high school was the best at that time. By the way, I heard that the teacher who pressured him to move to the secular high school got sick. My parents were worried about it, but he told them there was nothing to worry about, 'You have a smart and strong child who will not be negatively influenced,' he convinced them. But, really, how could a 14-year-old, innocent and simple, cope with a huge amount of youth at Herzliya Gymnasium coming from such educated homes?"

"After my parents saw the spiritual influence on my brother, they no longer agreed to transfer me. In any case, growing up in a religious home, we supposedly knew about prayer and there wasn't much new to tell us, and suddenly we heard about such spiritual innovations and it drew my brother very strongly. My parents didn't pay much attention to it until things that Rabbi Ovadia said were publicized and suddenly they realized it wasn't as innocent as it seemed."

"I remember we took my mother once to a lecture, she just sat down and fell asleep until the end. At the end of the evening, when the last lecturer finished speaking, she opened her eyes. We felt uncomfortable then, but in retrospect, I understood that she had the merit of ancestors not to hear all the nonsense spoken there."

Divine intervention helps us on the way

"Suddenly, all kinds of heavenly matters joined the issue, my mother's father came to her in a dream and told her, in all the synagogues there is a great noise and they are praying, so why is she not praying about what is happening with your children? This greatly stirred my mother to pray on the matter. For my father, it was truly a wonder of wonders in the matter, one person directed him to 'Yad L'Achim' regarding the issue, but there they told him they deal more with young children, placing them in yeshivot and Talmud Torahs, not with young men. I remember how my father was broken by this, he leaned on the mezuzah with tears and said, 'Master of the Universe, have you closed the door on me here too?"

First prayer in life from the depth of the heart

"A second point was when I was supposed to be asleep, but I heard how my mother was pleading with my brother to leave the place where he was (at that time he was already married), but he told her he was only searching for the truth. 'On the contrary, convince me that the truth is elsewhere and I will go,' he told her. My mother began to convince him that we are Jews, I remember that this was the first time I turned to Hashem from the depth of my heart. All my life I prayed Shacharit, Mincha, and Maariv, but I never felt myself praying to Hashem. I remember how I turned and turned to Hashem from the depth of my heart and with tears asked to be shown the truth in the world, where to draw closer. We didn't even associate it with Judaism, we talked about needing to draw closer to the complete person, that's what we called it then."