The Secret of Building the Soul: The Power of Yearning to Study Torah

Lesson No. 47 | Lesson 1 - Sunday, Parashas Vayishlach, 10 Kislev 5756 - Lesson in the Yeshiva

Torah study is not merely the acquisition of knowledge, but the primary vessel for building the soul and purifying the mind from foreign thoughts. This lesson explains how even a person preoccupied with his business affairs can merit tremendous spiritual illuminations, if only he maintains a constant yearning and anticipation for the moment he can sit and study.

We merit the crown of Torah through Hisbodedus (secluded personal prayer). In order to reach the state of bitul (self-nullification), the Hisbodedus that sweetens the harsh judgments is only a Hisbodedus of absolute nullification—to nullify everything. To feel: "I do not exist, I am nothing, I am the absolute zero. Let them insult me, let them humiliate me—I deserve it all. All the humiliations in the world would still not be enough to atone for my lightest sin."

We need many sweetenings. Difficult events are occurring in the world, and therefore we need bitul. To believe that I am the lowest of everyone, and only this is called Hisbodedus that sweetens the judgments. Even if a person is doing Hisbodedus and meanwhile missiles are flying—he must nullify everything and cleave to Hashem, may He be blessed.

The Light of Prophecy in Torah Study

Our Sages say:

"One who studies Torah brings peace to the heavenly and earthly realms."

Whoever studies Torah makes peace among the angels. The ultimate purpose of engaging in Torah is to nullify all evil desires. The light of the Torah encompasses all the levels of prophecy. When a person studies and has vitality in his Torah learning, suddenly his mind opens and his heart opens, and then he is encompassed by all ten levels of prophecy. A wise man is greater than a prophet—he can see things, feel things, and foresee things.

The vitality from study only comes after learning for an hour or two. It should not be that a person studies a little, sees that it is not going well for him, and immediately abandons his study. If he sits for another hour, he will see that suddenly a wondrous light opens up for him, and this light encompasses all the levels of prophecy.

The Spiritual Remedy for Banishing Foreign Thoughts

Whoever has evil thoughts, first he must judge every person favorably. Additionally, the segulah (spiritual remedy) to nullify all foreign thoughts is to think about chiddushei Torah (novel Torah insights). If you want to nullify foreign thoughts, you must create new insights and study chiddushei Torah.

It is chiddushei Torah that cleanse the mind and banish all foreign thoughts. Foreign thoughts only come when the mind is empty, whereas the novel insight grasps the mind and elevates it.

By truly knowing his own lowliness, a person will make himself literally like dust. The earth—everyone steps on it and spits on it, yet it yields diamonds, pearls, fruits, roses, and beautiful trees. So too, a person must only be a giver, even if everyone mocks him. If they spit in his face, let him say it is rain.

In the Shemoneh Esrei prayer, only after nineteen blessings through which a person is purified, can he reach the concluding passage and request:

"And let my soul be as dust to all."

When he reaches this level, he will succeed in bringing all things from potential into actuality. Everything he thinks and desires, all his good intentions—everything will succeed, and he will see the absolute point of truth.

Building the Soul Amidst the Burdens of Livelihood

The author of the "Chayei Adam," Rabbi Avraham Danzig, writes that the main thing is Torah study. The soul is built solely through Torah study. A person receives a new Nefesh, Ruach, and Neshamah (levels of the soul) every day, and he must first build the Nefesh through study.

The "Chayei Adam" testifies about himself that he was a great merchant who traveled from city to city. But he explains that just like a woman who intends to marry—the very intention activates her inner strengths. So too, a person engaged in commerce, if he thinks all day, "When will I finally study?", this thought activates his mind and prevents it from drying up or degenerating. He is constantly anticipating: "When will I finally finish all my affairs and be able to sit and study?"

He continues and describes: "Even though I traveled great distances and was a great merchant, my wisdom remained with me. Because on my journeys along the way, I set my mind upon it. During negotiations, in the middle of business, my mind was on the Torah in contemplation and questioning."

It is exactly like a person requesting a loan from a great wealthy man. Even if he currently does not have a penny, if the wealthy man sees that the money is invested in merchandise and that he has genuine intentions, he will lend to him. So too is Hashem—if He sees that you truly want to return to study, that you are thinking every moment about when to go learn, He guards your mind, renewing and developing it, even when you are in the midst of commerce.

The Advice of Rabbi Nasan: Yearning from Within the Store

It is told of Rabbi Chaim Lirsman, a student of Moharnat (Rabbi Nasan of Breslov), that he wanted to leave his store and sit and study in the Beis Midrash all day. He wanted to close the business completely.

Rabbi Nasan said to him: "Right now you are burning for Hashem, may He be blessed, but if you destroy your source of parnassah (livelihood), after a month or two when the burning enthusiasm subsides a bit, you will be left without a livelihood. You will fall into depression, start getting angry at yourself, and fall into despair."

Instead, Rabbi Nasan instructed him to keep the store, but to bring holy books into it. "When you have no customers—study from them. And yearn for when the store will close on its own. Pray that Hashem will orchestrate circumstances for the good and the store will close by itself, without you doing it all at once."

And so it indeed was. He yearned so much for the store to close by itself so he could sit and study, until finally it did close through Divine Providence. A person must always yearn for Hashem and anticipate: "When will I finally be able to sit and study Torah?"

Part 1 of 2 — Lesson No. 47

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