The Secret of Dust and Ashes: How Embarrassment Elevates a Person to the Root of Creation
Lesson No. 14 | Friday, Parashas Bamidbar, 26 Iyar 5755 - At a Bris
When a person merits humility and lowliness, and is willing to accept bizyonos (embarrassment) until he feels like...
Rebbe Nachman says that if a person diminishes and hides himself in humility and lowliness, and transforms himself into the aspect of "Ayin" (nothingness), then Hashem reveals Himself to him. As long as a person holds onto pride and his burning fire, Hashem departs from him. But the moment a person transforms himself into the aspect of "no" (self-negation), Hashem says, "I will show him" – I will show him who I am and reveal Myself to him face to face. Whoever is nothing and zero can see Hashem face to face.
Parashas Sotah: Immense Reward from Humiliation
This week we read in the Torah portion about the Sotah woman (a woman suspected of adultery). The Talmud in Tractate Sotah brings an immense wonder: A person who behaves improperly is supposed to receive a punishment, but here we see a woman who merits an incomprehensible reward specifically through her humiliation. This refers to a woman who behaved with a lack of modesty and spoke with a strange man after her husband warned her and expressed his jealousy. She is indeed a kosher and pure woman who did not actually sin, but because she did not listen to her husband's voice, she is taken to the Holy Temple.
There, she is subjected to the greatest bizyonos in the world. All of Jerusalem is brought to look at her, she is stood in the Temple courtyard for all to see, and she is made to drink the bitter waters into which dust from the floor of the Mishkan (Tabernacle) was placed.
The Sfas Emes asks: This woman went through an ordeal of terrible suffering and shame; they simply made her into "dust and ashes." What is her reward for drinking the dust and withstanding all these bizyonos? The Torah says that she merits to have a son like Avraham Avinu.
Reaching the Level of Avraham Avinu
Avraham Avinu testified about himself:
"And I am but dust and ashes."
Because this woman accepted the insult and transformed herself into dust and ashes, she merits a son who will be in the aspect of Avraham Avinu. A person who accepts *bizyonos*, even if they are deserved because of a mistake he made, and through this he becomes an absolute "nothing" – he merits to receive supernal intellect (*mochin*) like that of Avraham Avinu.
A person does not know what mochin he can receive in the merit of every bizayon (embarrassment) he absorbs. He could work for a million years and not achieve what he receives from a single bizayon! And if the bizayon is completely undeserved – he can reach even more exalted levels, literally the aspect of Avraham Avinu.
Ascending to the Root of Creation
Who was Avraham Avinu? Avraham is the root of creation. The Sages expound on the verse:
"These are the generations of the heavens and the earth when they were created (behibar'am)" – through Avraham (b'Avraham).
Hashem created the entire world in the merit of Avraham Avinu. The Midrash in Yalkut Shimoni says that the world was also created in the merit of Yaakov and Yisrael, because every true tzaddik who reaches absolute self-nullification (bitul) becomes Hashem's partner in creation.
When that Sotah woman stands disgraced before the eyes of all Jerusalem and drinks the dust from under the Throne of Glory (the dust with which Hashem created the world), she ascends to the root of her soul. From the sheer shame of being stared at every second, she ascends to the very root of creation and becomes like Avraham Avinu. At that moment, the entire world stands in her merit, and she sweetens all the harsh judgments from upon the Jewish people.
The Power of One Who Becomes "Ayin"
When a person reaches such bitul and becomes dust and ashes, he transforms into an entirely new creation. He receives the power to perform miracles, heal the sick, and protect the entire world.
The Midrash relates regarding the era of Avraham Avinu:
"Even ships that set sail on the great sea were saved in the merit of Avraham."
During the time of Avraham Avinu, there was no disaster in the world. Not a single ship sank in the sea, no person died from illness, and all the barren women in the world were blessed with children. The Gemara explains that even ships carrying yayin nesech (libation wine) were saved, because an abundance of merchandise brings about a reduction in prices worldwide, and thus there is a benefit to all of humanity. Why did all this happen? Because Avraham merited the letter Hei of "behibaram" (when they were created), the letter with which the world was created. He sanctified the breath of his mouth and reached absolute nullification (bitul).
This is exactly our role in Hisbodedus. The entire purpose of Hisbodedus is only to become "Ayin" (nothingness). Not to ask for prophetic visions out of pride and think, "I am the most important of all," but rather to recognize our own nothingness. When a person emerges from Hisbodedus knowing that he is nothing and zero, he can sweeten judgments, rectify his surroundings, and protect the entire world.
Part 2 of 3 — Lesson No. 14