The Secret of Marriage: The Power of the Bride and the Ascent to Atika Kadisha
Lesson No. 263 | * Monday, 3rd day of Chol HaMoed Sukkos, the eve of 18 Tishrei 5761 - The yahrtzeit (anniversary of passing) of our holy Rebbe (Rebbe Nachman) in the Beis Midrash of Ido HaNavi
An in-depth article on the secret of marriage in light of Torah 49 in Likutey Moharan. The article explains how the bride consumes the kelipos (forces of impurity), the groom's obligation to run to study Torah immediately after the seven days of feasting, and the tremendous secret of elevating the Jewish home to the spiritual level of Atika Kadisha (The Holy Ancient One).
Our holy Rebbe, Rebbe Nachman, explains in Torah 49 (Likutey Moharan, Part I) that there is a tremendous secret in the groom and bride. The verse says regarding Devorah the Prophetess:
"And she sat under the palm tree of Devorah... a woman of torches [Eshes Lapidos]" (Judges 4:4-5).
The word "Tomer" (palm tree) alludes to Devorah the Prophetess. "Eshes Lapidos" (a woman of torches) means that all 248 limbs of the body must blaze like torches. The word "Lapid" (torch) calculated twice in Gematria (numerical value) equals 248 (124 + 124). This means that all 248 of her limbs blazed like fire. In the merit of this holy fire, Devorah merited to bring the entire Jewish nation back in teshuvah (repentance) and to exact vengeance upon the enemies of Israel.
The Song of the Stones and the Power of the Bride
The bride represents the spiritual aspect of David, King of Israel. Through the bride, all the kelipos (forces of impurity) are consumed, in the secret of "consumed in wrath, consumed and they are no more." When the bride is pure and kosher, she consumes all the impurity in the world. She represents the aspect of Techeiles (biblical blue wool), the aspect of melody, the ten types of song.
The holy Zohar in Parashas Vayeilech brings down that when the Jewish people entered the Holy Land and crossed the Jordan River, they heard songs and praises from every single stone and from every corner.
"From the edge of the earth we have heard songs, glory to the righteous" (Isaiah 24:16).
Everything was in the merit of Moshe Rabbeinu, in the merit of the tzaddik. The *tzaddik* gives life to the inanimate, the vegetative, the animal, and the human realms. In his merit, songs and melodies emerge from every stone. The songs represent the aspect of the Hebrew letter Yud, which is drawn into the letter Dalet, and through this, it becomes the letter Hei to fill the Dalet, representing Sarah, who sang over the entire world.
Rejoicing Like a Warrior to Run the Course
Regarding the groom, it is said: "And he is like a groom emerging from his bridal chamber, he rejoices like a warrior to run the course" (Psalms 19:6). The sun is compared to a groom, but the groom shines even brighter than the sun. The moment the groom finishes the seven days of feasting, he must immediately run to the yeshiva. "He rejoices like a warrior to run the course" – he must immediately run to learn, not moving from the Gemara for eleven and a half hours a day.
The Midrash in Koheles tells of Rabbi Elazar, who preceded Rabbi Yehuda bar Ilai by seven days in Torah study before his wedding. They learned with such diligence and vigor that Rabbi Yehuda was never able to catch up to him, reflecting the concept of "a twisted thing that cannot be made straight."
Similarly, it is brought in the Gemara in Tractate Kesubos (62b) regarding Rabbi Chanina ben Chachinai and Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. Rabbi Chanina finished his seven days of feasting before Rashbi. Rashbi asked him to wait for him, but Rabbi Chanina answered, "I will not wait for you for even a second!" They both went to study Torah under Rabbi Akiva in Bnei Brak and remained there for thirteen consecutive years.
The True Demand of the Bride
A groom emerges from his bridal canopy and immediately runs to the yeshiva. There is no such thing as a young man thinking that now he will start working for fifty years. A young man must want to become an angel in a single day. The wife truly wants you to sit and learn! All the arguments in homes begin when the wife wants the husband to learn and he does not want to learn.
The bride has acted with mesiras nefesh (self-sacrifice); she is the acquisition of the groom and she has demands: "I have sold myself to you, I am ready to serve you, but you must sit and learn! Let's see you wake up for Vasikin (sunrise prayer)!" She did not get married so that her husband could lie in bed and eat falafel all day. She sends him his tallis, buys him the most beautiful and enhanced tallis, just so he will learn and pray. If one comes home and does not study Torah, it is all a waste.
Ascending to Atika Kadisha
At a wedding, one receives tremendous surrounding spiritual lights (Oros Makifim). With this aspect of Techeiles and these surrounding lights, all the idolatry is consumed. Therefore, at a wedding, one merits the "Torah of the Concealed Ancient One" (Oraisah d'Atika Setima'ah) – the Torah of Atik, the aspect of Shabbos delight, the perfect Torah of Hashem.
The Ramak (Rabbi Moshe Cordovero) explains that a person can and must elevate his wife all the way to Atika Kadisha (The Holy Ancient One). Throughout his entire life, a person must elevate his wife, coming home with words of Torah, with smiles, and with joy. When they sing "La, la, la" to the groom, the intention is "Aleh, aleh, aleh" (ascend, ascend, ascend) – elevate the bride, lift her up from the wilderness and from the routine of her life into holiness.
Since at a wedding one ascends to the level of Atik (the highest, most hidden level of the Divine), there is a custom to throw money. The moment one reaches *Atika*, they no longer want the money. They understand that physical money is worthless compared to the spiritual light. Reb Noson of Breslov would throw money out the window on Purim, because when concepts are overturned and one draws closer to the truth, they realize that they need nothing besides Hashem, may He be blessed.
The Secret of the Room: The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy
The Ramak (Rabbi Moshe Cordovero) proves the secret of the ascent to Atika from the Book of Kings (I Kings 1:15):
"And Batsheva went in unto the king into the chamber; and the king was very old."
"The chamber" (HaChadra) alludes to the Holy of Holies. A bride and groom are in the aspect of the Cherubim, and the Yichud room (seclusion room) is the Holy of Holies, above the level of Yom Kippur. King David is described as "very old" (zaken me'od)—meaning, he had already attained the level of Atika Kadisha (the Holy Ancient One, "Sava d'Savin").
When Batsheva entered "the chamber," King David awakened within her the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy and elevated her to Atik. Through this lofty unification, they were able to draw down the kingship to their son Solomon, bring him down to the Gihon spring, and crown him king. This is the destiny of every groom: to be an aspect of the sun that illuminates all the worlds, to elevate his home to the highest supreme holiness, and in this merit, may we be privileged to see the building of the Holy Temple and Mashiach ben David, speedily in our days.
Part 1 of 4 — Lesson No. 263
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