The Secret of Truth: A Person's Test Behind Closed Doors

Class No. 19 | Class 1: (Continuation of the Covenant from No. 18) Wednesday Morning, Parshas Chukas, 30 Sivan 5755

A person's true essence is not measured by public sermons or demonstrations, but specifically when he remains alone behind closed doors. When a person serves Hashem, prays, and learns with the same awe and exactitude even when no one sees him, he merits to bring down all the wicked and bring the Geulah (Redemption), exactly as Yosef HaTzaddik withstood his test.

One who is truly wise and understanding will desire to speak one word of truth at least once in his lifetime. If only a person could utter one true word a moment before his passing. What we speak in classes is not yet considered words of truth in their perfection. Words of truth are only spoken behind closed doors.

When a person is behind closed doors, there he pours out his heart before Hashem. There he engages in Hisbodedus (secluded prayer) under the blanket in truth. Only this is called truth. Everyone says they are people of truth and fight for the truth, but the real truth is to say a chapter of Tehillim (Psalms) behind closed doors, with tears and a broken heart. The rest—all the other 'truths'—is all a big lie. Let Hashem run the world.

The Illusion of "Absolute Truth"

There are people who think they hold the 'absolute truth,' and in the name of this truth, they are ready to fight and destroy the world. A person feels that he is the truth, and he decides to pour fire and brimstone on anyone who, Heaven forbid, does not agree with him, even if he doesn't know these people at all. Perhaps they are innocent and tzaddikim in their own right?

They tell a story of an anti-Semite who wrote a book about the 'absolute truth' and wanted to kill all the Jews, even though he barely knew them. There is also a well-known joke about a German who poured fire and brimstone against the Jews, claiming they were thieves and murderers, 'except for Mr. Cohen.' When asked if he knew any other Jew besides Mr. Cohen, he admitted he did not. So too was the case with a Nazi who fled to California, became a cowboy, and only did teshuvah (repentance) when he realized his friends hated Jews with a deadly hatred without ever having seen a Jew in their lives.

From here we learn that a person should not think his perspective is necessarily the correct and only one. If you believe your perspective is correct—pray and cry to Hashem that it be accepted, but do not slander anyone.

The True Test: When No One is Watching

Rebbe Nachman says that truth is found in only one thing: go behind closed doors, pull the blanket over yourself, and start crying to Hashem. A person should just have an aspect of truth—that he prays at home exactly as he prays in the yeshiva, and recites Birchas HaMazon (Grace After Meals) exactly as he recites it in front of people.

When you recite the blessing 'Shehakol Nihiyah Bidvaro' slowly, when the house is empty and no one sees you—in this, you are a man of truth. It is told of Rabbi Eliezer Menachem Mendel of Lelov zt"l, who revealed the secret of the Pidyon Nefesh (redemption of the soul) within the washing of the hands. He would wash his hands for half an hour, out of immense deveikus (cleaving to Hashem), until one time, on Motzaei Shabbos (Saturday night), he passed away in the middle of the blessing 'Al Netilas Yadayim'.

A person's test begins specifically when he is behind closed doors. All the household members have left—the wife, the siblings, the parents—and left him alone in the house for a whole day. Now he can lie in bed without modesty, take off his clothes, and behave with levity. But if he maintains his modesty, recites blessings slowly, and learns the Gemara with awe and reverence as if a thousand people are watching him right now—this is his test of truth.

One Point of Truth Brings Down the Wicked

Everyone must examine himself every day to see where he stands behind closed doors. That is where his truth is tested, and besides that, everything is nonsense and vanity. Public sermons and posters are not the measure. First of all, be a Jew in secret ('b'iskasya'), be meticulous in mitzvos before Hashem alone.

When a person is a man of truth, he draws to himself all righteousness and nullifies all the thoughts of the wicked. Today, people look to hold demonstrations of a hundred or two hundred thousand people to annul evil decrees. But Rebbe Nachman says: The moment there is one man of truth behind closed doors, he burns up and nullifies all the thoughts of the wicked.

Hashem is looking for one true man. The moment there is one point of truth, one letter of truth, immediately all the wicked fall, and even do teshuvah (repentance). The main downfall of the wicked is only through the truth that will be revealed. Hashem says to the man of truth: 'You I can tolerate, and in your merit, I tolerate the entire world.'

Fleeing from Dispute and the "Mitzvos" of Lashon Hara

To merit this truth, we must learn with awe and reverence. Every word in the Torah is Godliness. Furthermore, we must pray like Rabbi Nasan, that we judge every person favorably and that no word against any Jew in the world will ever leave our mouths.

"Save me from strife and dispute... Have pity on my soul and guard me so that I do not deceive myself into saying that it is a mitzvah to speak about these people."

The evil inclination tries to convince us that there is a 'mitzvah' to speak lashon hara (derogatory speech) based on five conditions of permission. But Rebbe Nachman teaches us: Even if it seems to you that you must give a 'slap' or rebuke someone, push it off for another thousand years, for another million years. Do not look for the 614th mitzvah of speaking about others. We must ask Hashem: 'I do not desire these mitzvos nor their reward, free me from this.'

Withstanding the Test Like Yosef HaTzaddik

The main thing is behind closed doors. Every time a person is left alone at home, this is the test of his fear of Heaven. Just as there are tests on Gemara and Chumash, there is a test on the fear of Heaven.

So it was with Yosef HaTzaddik. Everyone went to the Nile for their festival day, and Yosef remained alone in the house. This was his test. Yosef withstood the test behind closed doors, and immediately became 'Yosef HaTzaddik,' was included among the Seven Shepherds, and brought the Geulah (Redemption) to the world.

When you sit alone at home with yourself, with the evil inclination and the thoughts, and you withstand the tests—you simply bring the Geulah (Redemption) to the world. Truth means that a person guards his holiness behind closed doors, and thereby he merits to illuminate the light of the Geulah.

Part 3 of 4 — Class No. 19

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