What is True Hisbodedus? Parshas Balak from the Gaon and Tzaddik Rabbi Eliezer

"From Aram, Balak king of Moab has led me, from the mountains of the east" (Numbers 23:7)

Balaam also practiced Hisbodedus, but he wanted personal favors

"Balaam would practice Hisbodedus (personal prayer). Balaam also walked upon the mountains, as it is written, 'From Aram, Balak... has led me, from the mountains of the east...' He walked on the ancient mountains, he screamed on the mountains, he walked on the hills, he cried out to Hashem with klot hanefesh (total yearning and exhaustion of the soul). Yet, with all of this, he remained Balaam. Nothing helped him; he remained Balaam."

"A person thinks that through Hisbodedus he will now find a million dollars. When he does Hisbodedus, he wants to see the blessing immediately, to see his shidduch (marriage match) already, to see the apartment already, to see a million dollars. He wants to have savings in the bank for his sons and grandsons. He says, 'I did an hour of Hisbodedus, where is Hashem? Why isn't Hashem answering me?'"

"A person doesn't know what Hisbodedus is. He stands with Hashem and says: 'Master of the World, give already! Give me! Give me this! When will You give it to me?' – He brings a sack with him to Hisbodedus, and after the Hisbodedus, he says, 'I want to see how the sack is filling up.' It is true that the poor complain to the Holy One, Blessed is He, and Hashem is happy with that, but that is not [the essence of] Hisbodedus!"

Hisbodedus must lead to self-nullification

"What is Hisbodedus? The Rebbe [Rebbe Nachman] says based on Torah 52 [in Likutey Moharan] that a person must reach Bittul (self-nullification), and it is impossible to come to Bittul except through Hisbodedus. One needs only Bittul: 'I am not Moshe Rabbeinu, I am not Eliyahu HaNavi, I am not Rebbe Nachman of Breslov. I don't know what Breslov is; I have no grasp of Breslov. On the contrary, I love to eat, I love to drink, like a gentile, may Hashem have mercy' – then the whole Hisbodedus is something completely different."

"We need Hisbodedus to reach Bittul. Hisbodedus is only to know that I am worth nothing, and I am dust and ashes, because all the time a person thinks, 'I am the smartest, the most understanding, the most successful, the most learned, and the most sociable.' A person thinks 24 hours a day, 'I am the most, the most, the most.' Everyone has proofs that they are the most successful and the smartest and the cleverest. If it were possible to open a person's brain, to open all his thoughts, one would see that he has a million thoughts a second: 'I am the most...'"

Hisbodedus - An hour to calm down from all thoughts of pride

"Therefore, now a person needs an hour of Hisbodedus, an hour to calm down from all the thoughts of pride, to nullify himself, to seclude himself, to relax a little and think: 'I am not the best in the world. There are other smart people in the world, there are other successful people, there are other understanding people in the world.' And this takes a full hour. Hisbodedus to Hashem is quite simply a full hour to stop the sequence of arrogant thoughts."

"Your soul is pitiful! It is suffering; it cannot return to its root. It doesn't want all these thoughts. The soul is Godly; it doesn't want to hear this nonsense. It cannot hear such nonsense. Give it rest for one hour a day! Let the soul speak a little, and then it will tell you: 'Stop with this nonsense, with these thoughts! Don't you see? Release me! Give me rest!' I want to be nullified to Hashem. I want humility. The soul is Godly; it wants only one thing—it wants to be 'Ayin' (Nothingness)."