When Children See Father Happy

"You shall not kindle fire in all your dwelling places" (Exodus 35:3) - The Zohar says (Tikkunei HaZohar, Tikkun 48): "Do not kindle fire" refers to anger!

One who falls into anger on Shabbat kindles the fire of Gehennom (Hell). For on Shabbat, there is no fire of Gehennom! Even for a Shabbat desecrator, there is no fire of Gehennom active! So who lights the fire of Gehennom on Shabbat anyway? Those who fall into anger—they light the fire of Gehennom for the wicked! Because if they didn't get angry, even the wicked would have rest on Shabbat from the fire of Gehennom. For Hashem extinguishes the fire on Shabbat! Therefore, the Zohar says: Do not kindle fire! The main thing is, do not be in a state of anger, do not be in a bad state, never enter into anger and strictness.

Rebbe Nachman says in Torah 49: "For before Creation, the light of the Holy One, Blessed is He, was Infinite, and the Holy One, Blessed is He, wanted His Kingship to be revealed. And there is no King without a people, so He needed to create human beings to accept the yoke of His Kingship. And the revelation of His Kingship is impossible to grasp except through the *Middos* (attributes/character traits), for through the attributes one grasps His Godliness, and knows that there is a Master who rules and leads."

Every person is a burning candle! Every person is a flaming fire for Hashem! But regarding the revelation of Hashem's Kingship! To accept the yoke of His Kingship! To know that there is nothing else besides Him! This is impossible to grasp except through the *Middos*; one needs character traits too! Meaning, it is not enough for a person to just burn for Hashem; he also needs character traits! One needs kindness, one needs mercy, one needs patience.

In truth, there are two works here that are opposite to one another. One work is the flame for Hashem, to be a flaming fire for Hashem! The second work is completely the opposite! Patience, forbearance, and tolerance. Forbearance and patience depend on Emunah (faith)! Because when a person believes in Hashem, it is never relevant for him to get angry! When a person is at home, he has plenty to be angry about; he can get angry about everything that isn't done according to his will. But the test that he has truly accepted the yoke of His Kingship is that he does not get angry! That he knows everything is by Divine Providence! Because the very anger and lack of patience is itself idolatry!

The moment a person thinks that something is done without Hashem, without Hashem's will, then this itself is idolatry; this itself is "my strength and the might of my hand." Rebbe Nachman says that every time you get angry, every time you are strict, you lost a billion dollars—you simply lost! Come home with a smile, do not be strict, do not get annoyed, do not get angry at the household members. Do not enter in anger. Wait five minutes outside, sit on some stairs or a bench downstairs, do some *Hisbodedus* (personal prayer), breathe some air until a smile comes to your face, until the color returns to your face. Because a person already has an obsession to get angry; he already has an ideology to get angry.

Rebbe Nachman says: "And the *Baal Davar* (Evil Inclination), when he sees that a flow of abundance of money is descending to a person—which is the aspect of a 'wall' as mentioned above—he then makes anger for him out of this flow. He arranges something for him to get angry about, and the aspect of the 'wall' is spoiled by the anger as mentioned above. For anger and money are one aspect, and the root of the flow... Therefore, he easily transforms the flow of abundance of money, which is the aspect of a wall (*choma*), into anger (*cheimah*), which is the opposite of the wall. And he makes for him out of the *choma* (wall), *cheimah* (wrath/anger)—transforming the money into anger as mentioned above" (Torah 68).

Rebbe Nachman says "wall"—this is a wall of wealth, and anger is the spoiling of the wall! Hashem wants to give you a wall of money, a wall of banknotes, "The rich man's wealth is his strong city, and like a high wall." Anger is the spoiling of the wall! Why are you angry? Why are you strict? The moment you get angry, you have lost all the money that was supposed to reach you! And the *Baal Davar* does all sorts of things so you will get angry! The *Baal Davar* confuses you and misleads you until you already have ideologies of anger—that you are allowed to be angry either because you are pitiful, or because you are exhausted, or because you were outside from five in the morning until twelve at night. The *Baal Davar* knows that an abundance of money needs to come to you, so he invites a reason for you to get angry so that you will lose the money, and he turns the *choma* (wall) into *cheimah* (wrath) for you; he turns the money into anger for you! Stop getting angry! Stop being strict! You will make yourself a wall of silver, palaces of silver, palaces of diamonds and pearls.

A person comes home with joy, with smiles, with songs—this influences the wife and the children. When the children see that Father is happy, they will not go off the path! But if they see that Father is angry and sad, then the child says: "Why do I need to be in this sad house? I have happy friends dancing outside..." The child looks for joy outside! Therefore, before you arrive home, rest a little bit. Do not enter in a panic, with all the noise, with all the anger, with all the nerves. Enter the house happy, with a drop of patience. Listen to what the household members are going through. Maybe your wife is broken and needs encouragement? Maybe the child fell and needs cheering up? The child sees that the father is not happy, the mother is not happy—he is not ready for their sadness and anger. He is starting his life now; he is looking for joy, he wants joy.