A Prayer: Master of the Universe, Let Me Have No Connection With Any Woman in the World, Nor Desire to Lie With Any Woman, and Also...
Master of the Universe, full of abundant mercy, help me to listen to the voice of my wife in every single detail and to accept her rebuke with love. For You know that my wife is thousands of times greater than me, and her soul is clear and pure, and was not blemished either by the Sin of the Golden Calf or by the Sin of the Spies. And any impurity within her, the Zohar says, only comes from the side of the men, since she was born from an impure father, and every woman's father is impure—because relative to a woman today, every man is impure and only desires impure and disgraceful things. Therefore, Master of Mercy, whose mercies never end, You can save me even today. Make it so that I listen to my wife in everything, honor her with infinite types of honor, elevate her, and bring her joy with every kind of happiness. May I rejoice in every single comment she makes to me, and accept every rebuke of hers with love. May I never smoke again, and never sleep in the morning, Heaven forbid, so that You will never see me sleeping like a bear. Make me pure and clean, a holy and refined person who never desires to sleep. Let me wake up in the morning with immense alacrity, go to the Kollel (Torah study hall) with immense alacrity, and eat with refinement and immense holiness, so that every movement of mine finds favor in the eyes of my wife.Master of the Universe, take me out of the lust for eating. Let me not look at women, and let me not feel any love for any woman, nor any desire for any woman, nor any desire for any food. Let me not want to eat at all, and let me not ask anyone for food. Bestow upon me an abundance of money so that I will only eat from my own. Let me not look at women, and let me have no improper thoughts about women. Let me know that every woman is set apart (muktzeh) due to repulsion [in the context of forbidden desires], and let me not want to see any woman in the world at all. Let me know that [the temptation of] every woman is the Satan himself, that the Satan has clothed himself in her [to test me], and that she is an emissary of the Satan to cause me to sin with bad thoughts and bad deeds. Let me only study Torah day and night. Let me have no desire to sleep at all, and let me minimize my sleep to the absolute minimum. Let me sanctify my thoughts and my mind with the utmost holiness and purity, and let all my focus be solely on the study of the holy Torah. Let me study Shas (the Talmud) day and night, and succeed in passing the exams. Let me strive to study Tractate Pesachim, and study a great deal with Chaim Rubinstein. Let me share with him all the thoughts of my heart, ask him to study with me a lot, and always know that I am the lowest of everyone. Let me pray with great concentration, and write down literally every hour what I am going through and what thoughts I am having. Let me travel every night to the field (for Hisbodedus), and let no day of my life pass without traveling to the field at Chatzos (midnight). And in the field, let me cry out with all my strength to receive a literally new soul, a pure and holy soul that will not want to eat at all. Let me be clean from the lust for eating and from improper thoughts about women. Let me cry out in the field until my strength is exhausted that I do not want to see any woman whatsoever. Because the Satan has clothed himself in every woman [as a test] since the Sin of the Tree of Knowledge, and he causes every man to sin through looking at her. Please, Merciful One, full of mercy, save Your servant, the son of... so that I will never again cause any spiritual blemish in my life, and I will only be attached to You. May I merit the Divine Name "Ehyeh" (I Will Be), and know that I have not yet even begun to come into existence, and from now on I will truly begin to come into being. Let me know all of Tractate Pesachim by heart, take all the exams, and succeed in all the exams 100%. Let not a single hour pass in idleness; rather, in all hours, let me study in truth with a wondrous passion that will nullify all the lusts of the Sitra Achra (the Other Side), until the entire world returns in teshuvah (repentance) in the merit of my study in holiness and purity.
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