A Woman’s Role Is to Make Sure Her Husband Does Not Oppose the Tzaddik

Below is the complete daily lesson as delivered by The Rav, Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a, on Monday night, the eve of the 28th of Marcheshvan, Parshas Toldos, after the Ma’ariv prayer:

In this week’s parshah the word “admoni” appears (Bereishis 25:25), and afterward in Shmuel I it appears again—“admoni” (Shmuel I 16:12). Only twice in the entire Tanach does the word “admoni” appear. Midrash Rabbah says that Yitzchak thought that Esav was David, because it says “admoni,” and by David it also says “admoni.” And Shmuel thought the opposite—that David was Esav—because he said: Under no circumstances will this one be king here; I will not give it to him. He said: I will not allow, under any circumstances, that David should be king here.

So he asks Yishai, “Don’t you have any more children?” “Sure…,” he says. “I have one, but there’s no point bringing him. He’s a waste—he’s worth nothing. He only knows how to shepherd with the sheep. He doesn’t know alef-beis. He doesn’t know how to read, he doesn’t know how to make a blessing.”

“Fine,” he says, “then bring him.” As soon as he comes, he says, “This? Surely not! A child this inferior—I’ve never seen in my life!” People don’t know that the ‘most inferior’ child is the most righteous; the more ‘inferior’ the child is, the more righteous he is (The Rav shlit"a explained in other lessons that these children contain very lofty souls).

Hashem tells him: “Get up! Get up already—come on, get up! Get up—why are you sitting?! Get up! Get up! ‘Get up… for this is he’” (Shmuel I 16:12). This—this one you think is the most wicked, the most damaged, the most backward—this is the most successful child in all of history. There never was and never will be a king like this. Because Moshiach is David himself—Moshiach ben David. And before Moshiach ben David comes, Moshiach ben Yosef will come first to fight with the Arabs. The Arabs will conquer the entire Land of Israel, but that will only be in another one hundred ninety—one hundred eighty-nine years: the year 5712.

It is written in Pirkei d’Rabbi Eliezer, chapter 28: twenty-eight years before the end of the sixth millennium—5712. The Rambam says that in 5712 Moshiach must come; the Rambam says that this is the year of Moshiach—5712. So the Rambam says that Moshiach will certainly come. He says: We have a tradition, איש מפי איש—person from person—from the exile of Jerusalem, that in 5712 Moshiach will already come for sure.

And therefore this is referring to the fifth millennium, which is called the sixth millennium—so that it is twenty-eight years before the end. And then it will be: “Your sons and your daughters will prophesy” (Yoel 3:1)—everyone will have Ruach HaKodesh.

Because once, every daughter had Ruach HaKodesh—every daughter. Like Serach bas Asher: she had Ruach HaKodesh. Every daughter—every one of Yaakov’s granddaughters—knew that Yosef was alive. Soon we will read Parshas Vayeishev.

So Binyamin knew that Yosef was alive, even though no one told him—because he wasn’t at the sale; he knew nothing. But it doesn’t matter—he knew through Ruach HaKodesh. Yitzchak knew through Ruach HaKodesh; Yitzchak knew. He also wasn’t at the sale. Even though there was a ban not to tell, apparently Ruach HaKodesh is not subject to a ban.

So Yitzchak knew. Every daughter knew that Yosef was alive; all the daughters knew that Yosef was alive. They didn’t dare tell their grandfather—because if they told their grandfather, all the brothers would die in that very moment. The moment the father would know that Yosef is alive—and that a wild animal did not eat him, that he was not torn apart by wild beasts—it would be a sign that the brothers sold him. So each one was afraid to tell, lest all the brothers die.

Nine brothers would die; even Reuven would die. “Let Reuven live and not die” (Devarim 33:6)—that’s why it says, “Let Reuven live and not die,” because Reuven needed to carry him on his shoulders. Because Reuven heard the Bas Kol—“And Reuven heard and saved him.” It is written in Panim Me’iros by Rabbi Pinchas of Nikolsburg—he was a Rav in Frankfurt—that Reuven heard a Bas Kol: “Yosef HaTzaddik—bring him home. This is all plots, all lies, all imaginations.” But since he did not listen, therefore it is necessary to say: “Let Reuven live and not die.”

And now he fled to the Sambatyon, because at the moment that Esav made golden calves, they made calves—because this is what Eliezer saw.

Eliezer had Ruach HaKodesh. He saw until the end of all generations. He saw how they would make a calf. He lost his mind: “This is what I’m bringing to Yitzchak—a woman from whom the calf will come out!” He sees what will be in another six hundred sixty years. Now Yitzchak is forty years old; after four hundred years there will be the Geulah (the Geulah from Egypt)—and within three months they made a calf.

He said: “I see a calf. I see the breaking of the Tablets. I see dancing, circles.” But then he saw that Moshe goes up the third time—suddenly Moshe goes up the third time. So he took the two bracelets and put them on Rivkah, because the Tablets return only in the merit of Rivkah. So he placed the bracelets, because he said: “I see that the Tablets return. In the merit of Rivkah, the Tablets return.”

Because the fact that the Tablets return is only in the merit of the woman. When a man has a righteous wife, the Tablets return. Because the man, on his own, has already despaired—he has already seen that the Tablets were broken.

Everyone danced with the calf. Whoever didn’t dance was happy that others were dancing—he told his wife: “Just for the dancing, let me go. I’m not making a calf; I’m not bowing to it. It’s just dancing—these are dances of Shuvu Banim—let me go…” The woman should have given him two slaps. Since she didn’t give him two slaps, she remained a widow. Because everyone who bowed to the calf, who danced for the calf—they all died, and their wives remained widows. That was the punishment for not giving two slaps.

A woman needs to give her husband two slaps—to throw him out of the house, to throw him out of the house: “What—are you opposing Shuvu Banim? You are opposing the Tzaddik!” Like the wife of On ben Peles did—she bought him champagne. Any woman who sees that her husband is opposing the Tzaddik should buy him champagne, so he will fall asleep for twenty-four hours and the madness will leave him—the dibbuk will leave him.

It’s all dibbukim. Dibbukim enter people who oppose the Tzaddik. Opposing the Tzaddik—it’s all dibbukim. So Korach’s wife caused him to gather everyone all night—he gathered all of Am Yisrael. Moshe was left with less than a minyan: only Aharon and his two sons—because Nadav and Avihu had already died—so that’s three; and Moshe and Miriam, that’s another two; and Moshe’s two sons, that’s seven. That’s what remained.

So they needed to include Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov so there would be a minyan—Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov—so there would be a minyan that could stand against all of Am Yisrael. Because all of Am Yisrael was with Korach. Only On ben Peles was not with Korach—On ben Peles: his wife bought him champagne, and that’s how he was saved from Korach.

So a woman’s role is to make sure her husband does not oppose the Tzaddik—that her husband does not speak against the Tzaddik. And if he speaks, then buy him a bottle of wine—he should sleep; he should sleep until the end of his life.

To watch the replay — the lesson at 35:45:

https://youtu.be/9YYDDC244I8?t=2145