The Daily Chizuk from The Rav, Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a — “You Don’t Get Married for Desire”

Tuesday, 6 Tammuz 5782 — “Hashem wanted Moshiach to come from a father and a mother,” these are his holy words:

It is forbidden to marry a woman for the sake of desire.

Rabbi Nosson says: A wife is not for desire—it is to bring Moshiach.

A person must have pure intention in this matter, for the sake of Heaven—then Moshiach will come. The wife is only a vessel to bring the soul of Moshiach; it is not for desire, not for physical pleasures—it is forbidden.

If you want physical pleasures, then you separate. If you get married for physical desire, you separate immediately—that is the reason people separate.

Therefore it is forbidden for a person to marry for desire. It is forbidden for him to be with his wife for desire—even if he has already been married to her for 40 years. It doesn’t matter: it is never permitted for the bond to be one of desire—only to bring Moshiach.

Because Moshiach must come through a man and a woman—through a father and a mother. Hashem could have made it that there would be only a father, only a mother, but Hashem made it that there should be both a father and a mother.