The Secret of Protection on the Road: From the Trial of Yaakov and Lavan to the Power of an Eshet Chayil
Lesson No. 102 | Monday, Parashat Devarim, 1 Menachem Av 5757 - Rosh Chodesh Meal for Donors at the Old Beit Yaakov Hall - Part 2 (Continued from 101)
Yaakov Avinu proved to Esav that it is possible to live for twenty years with the greatest of deceivers without stumbling in the theft of even a needle. The secret to withstanding the trials of life and the road lies in a person's spiritual connection with his wife, who grants him an "Ohr Makif" (surrounding light) and supernal protection when he leaves his home in peace and pleasantness.
When Hashem sees that the world is liable to be destroyed due to the sin of people's wickedness, the existence of the tzaddikim is what draws down the blessings and sustains the world. Esav the wicked, whose entire life revolved around theft and robbery, felt himself to be the tzaddik of the generation simply because he once refrained from an act of robbery. He came with complaints to Yaakov Avinu and accused him and his family of theft – from taking the blessings to Rachel taking the terafim (idols).
But Yaakov Avinu corrects his bitter mistake and tells him: "My brother, you have been living in a terrible error for decades. Everything was done according to the Divine decree. Look at me – I lived with Lavan the Aramean, the chief of deceivers. He deceived me ten times over, changed my wages countless times, and at every moment invented a new deception."
He Did Not Find Even a Needle
Despite all of Lavan's deceptions, Yaakov Avinu took no action against him and never stumbled in theft. "You have felt through all my vessels, what have you found?" says Yaakov. The Midrash says in the name of Rabbi Simon: He did not find even a needle! A person fleeing his home with small children, it is natural that he might take some small object with him, but with Yaakov – not even a needle stuck to his hands.
The Gemara in Tractate Yoma says that Rabbi Elazar ben Charsom obligates the wealthy, Hillel obligates the poor, and Yosef obligates the wicked. Each of them paved a way and proved that it is possible to overcome trials. So too, Yaakov Avinu paved a way: he proves to Esav and to the whole world that one cannot use the excuse of "I lived with deceivers and robbers and therefore I was influenced." Yaakov lived with the greatest of deceivers, maintained his holiness and integrity, and did not stumble in even a needle.
The Secret to Protection on the Road - Leaving in Pleasantness
From where does a person draw the strength to withstand the trials of the road and be protected from all evil? The holy Zohar reveals the secret to us on the verse "And he went on his journeys." The Zohar establishes that wherever a person goes, he must take his wife with him. Seemingly, how is this possible practically?
The explanation is spiritual, but it has a distinct practical expression. I asked the 'Steipler' zt"l if these words are to be taken literally, and he replied: "Yes, it is literal – to make her happy so that she will be in a good mood." Before a person sets out on the road, he must sit with his wife for an hour or two, converse with her, and part in pleasantness, love, and pleasant memories. When a person leaves his home with a feeling of supernal pleasantness, his wife's soul accompanies him along the entire way.
The Crown of Her Husband - The Surrounding Light
When the parting is done in peace and affection, without quarrels or bitterness, the secret of "A woman of valor is the crown of her husband" is fulfilled in the person. The wife becomes his "crown" and his surrounding light. She surrounds him and protects him from all evil, from all bad thoughts, and from forbidden sights.
Therefore, a person must invest all his strength in building the home and guarding his wife's honor. If a cup or plate breaks in the house, one must remember the rule: "Let the cup break, let everything break – just let the wife not break!" The Gemara in Tractate Sanhedrin says that one whose wife passes away, it is as if his world has been destroyed, because they are one soul. There is no replacement for a wife, and she is the foundation for all the resting of the Shechinah (Divine Presence) upon a person.
From the Lower Shechinah to the Upper Shechinah
A person stands between two Shechinot: "Shechinta Tata'ah" (the lower Shechinah), which is his wife, and "Shechinta Ila'ah" (the upper Shechinah). When there is peace and unity in the home, and the person guards the honor of the "lower Shechinah," he merits that the upper Shechinah will also accompany him on his ways.
Through the holiness of the covenant, the holiness of the eyes, and peace in the home, a person merits to reach up to the fiftieth gate of understanding. The Ark of the Covenant accompanies him, as hinted in the verse:
"And it came to pass when the Ark set forward, that Moshe said: 'Rise up, Hashem, and let Your enemies be scattered; and let them that hate You flee before You.'"
The holy names protect him, he merits health, wisdom, and deep understanding. And from this holiness, may we all merit, especially during the days of Bein HaMetzarim, that the Holy Temple be built speedily and we merit the complete Geulah (Redemption) in our days, Amen.
Part 2 of 2 — Lesson No. 102
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