The Secret of the True Baal Teshuvah and the Connection to Holiness
Class No. 134 | Monday, Parashas Ki Sisa, 11 Adar 5758 - 2 classes regarding the selling of letters for a Sefer Torah in the name of the Baal Shem Tov, at the home of the Rav within the Old City walls.
Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a describes the immense mesirus nefesh (self-sacrifice) required to establish the yeshiva, and outlines its spiritual vision. He explains who a true "baal teshuvah" (returnee to Judaism) is, emphasizes the importance of the struggle for holiness in light of the figure of Rabbi Shmuel Shapiro zt"l, and concludes with practical guidance for shalom bayis (marital harmony) and shmiras einayim (guarding the eyes).
When we opened the kollel for avreichim (married yeshiva students) and grooms, the goal was to prevent a situation where they would wander around and die of starvation. We brought the best maggidei shiurim (Torah lecturers) and roshei yeshivas in Jerusalem. People sometimes think that the money was collected easily, but the truth is that every donation arrived with mesirus nefesh (self-sacrifice) from the four corners of the earth—from Australia, from Colombia, and from all ends of the world.
Mesirus Nefesh of Day and Night
For twenty years, we maintained the place with revealed miracles. From the age of twenty-five, I would run from six in the morning to obtain money. I would borrow money from hour to hour. People would say to me, "Return the money to us before the prayer so that we can pray with yishuv hadaas (peace of mind)." I would wander around at night, arriving at two in the morning to the gemach (free loan fund) of Rabbi Neuwirth, borrowing whatever was left in the cashbox until the morning, and returning it at exact hours to the avreichim in the Ponevezh kollel. This is how it operated day and night, all so that the yeshiva would continue to exist.
Today, the expenses are only growing. If we do not all mobilize, we will, Heaven forbid, have to sell the houses and the synagogue in the Jewish Quarter to cover the debts. Therefore, we ask all the avreichim to integrate into the system of selling letters for the Sefer Torah. The letters of the Torah are the Names of Hashem, and through them, it is possible to draw down miracles and wonders. We have an immense power here, avreichim who are willing to act with mesirus nefesh (self-sacrifice). We need everyone to place themselves into this system in order to stand the yeshiva on its feet, for the sake of your children and grandchildren, and to save the generation.
Not a Community of Baalei Teshuvah, but a Connection to Holiness
Many mistakenly think that our goal was to establish a community of baalei teshuvah. But the truth is, our goal was never to create a community of baalei teshuvah, but rather to be included among the wholesome, holy, and pure Jews of Mea Shearim. We wanted to connect to those Jews who know no other path in life besides the way between the home and the synagogue, Jews who maintain holiness and purity.
We see today how the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of the tzaddik Rabbi Shmuel Shapiro zt"l come to learn here. Rabbi Shmuel Shapiro was an immense light, a light the likes of which has not existed since the destruction of the Holy Temple. He could cry out to Hashem, may He be blessed, for holiness and purity for thirteen consecutive hours, from Maariv until six in the morning, until he literally vomited blood, in order to uproot from himself every trace of lust and blemish. It seems that he prayed in Heaven that his grandchildren would learn here, because here we fight with fierce devotion for holiness and purity.
What is a True Baal Teshuvah?
The name of the yeshiva, "Shuvu Banim," is not coincidental. It is based on the words of the holy Zohar:
"Every day a heavenly voice goes forth and proclaims: Return, wayward sons" (Zohar, Parashas Nasso 126).
We merit that this name reminds us to do teshuvah (repentance) at every moment. Who is called a baal teshuvah? Not a person who did teshuvah once twenty years ago and started keeping Shabbos. A true baal teshuvah is someone who does teshuvah every single second. Just as someone who had a house in the past is not called a "baal bayis" (homeowner) today, so too someone who did teshuvah in the past is not called a "baal teshuvah" unless he continues to return to Hashem anew at every moment. Shuvu Banim means to hear this heavenly voice and to do teshuvah every second.
Shalom Bayis and Shmiras Einayim
Along with all the mobilization for the yeshiva, it is very important not to burden the women. One must go out for activities at a specific time and return home early, to help with the education of the children and to bring joy to one's wife. The holy Zohar (Parashas Bereishis 49) says that a person is forbidden to leave the house if he does not bring joy to his wife beforehand. When a person brings joy to his wife and she escorts him with happiness, this grants him shmiras einayim (guarding the eyes) and protection on his way.
We hope with complete faith that everyone will enter into action with full vigor and joy. Anyone who adds and acts for the sake of the community, adds to himself and builds a magnificent community that leads in holiness and purity, and may we merit to greet King Mashiach speedily in our days, Amen.
Part 2 of 2 — Class No. 134
All parts: Part 1 | Part 2 (Current)