The Secret of Tzimtzum: How Serving Hashem is Built Specifically Within the Home

Class No. 118 | Eve of 6 Kislev 5758 - Engagement at the Rav's Home in the Old City

The entire world was created through tzimtzum (contraction), and so too are married life and a person's service of Hashem. Rabbi Eliezer Berland shlit"a.

The Secret of Yielding and Shalom Bayis (Marital Harmony)

There is a story of a righteous woman who gave the most mehudar (beautified) and guarded shmurah matzah in her home to charity. When the Seder night arrived, she was ashamed to tell her husband about it, and placed a simple matzah before him. Her husband, who was a holy man with Ruach HaKodesh (Divine inspiration), knew this immediately—yet he remained silent and did not say a word.

The next day, a couple who wanted to divorce came to the Rav. It turned out that a similar incident had occurred with them, where the wife mistakenly gave the shmurah matzah to someone else, and this sparked a massive argument. The Rav called the Rebbetzin and asked her: "Tell the truth, which matzah did you place on our table at the Seder night?" The Rebbetzin told the truth, and the Rav turned to the couple and said: "Do you see? In our home too, the wife gave the best matzah to someone else, and I was left with a simple matzah, and yet we did not fight."

From here a great foundational principle is revealed: It is forbidden to fight over chumras (stringencies). The true path of Chassidus is not built on arguments, but rather on accepting tzimtzumim (restrictions) with love.

The World Was Created from Tzimtzumim

One must know that all of married life is built upon tzimtzumim, and specifically from these tzimtzumim the world was created. Just as Hashem contracted His infinite light in order to create the universe, so too the entire creation is created and sustained through tzimtzumim. The rule is: The more tzimtzumim a person has in life, the more their creation is perfected.

Sometimes a person feels that his wife is closing him in and restricting his steps. She forbids him from traveling to Meron, prevents him from attending certain classes, and demands that he stay and do household chores. In such a situation, the Yetzer Hara (evil inclination) tries to make him despair, but the truth is that he must not despair at all.

Serving Hashem Within the Home

A person needs to know how to do his service of Hashem specifically within the home. He can learn "Likutey Moharan" at home, learn "Likutey Halachos" at home, recite "Likutey Tefilos" at home—and cry out to Hashem and weep to Him specifically from within his own four cubits.

The more a person is willing to accept tzimtzumim upon himself with love, the more he merits to receive from the illumination of the tzaddik. The tzaddik himself merited what he merited through accepting tzimtzumim, and this is how he manages to sustain the world from generation to generation.

When a person merits to take these tzimtzumim upon himself and does not run away from them, specifically through this the creation is perfected, and an entirely new creation is revealed in the world. Exactly as Rebbe Nachman contracted himself, and only through these tzimtzumim did he merit the revelation of his true kingship.

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