A Prayer to Merit the Trait of Patience and Waiting

And to Be a Flaming Fire Unto You
Master of the Universe, grant me the merit of the trait of patience and waiting, and through this, may I merit to enter the Garden of Eden with my physical body = 177 [the gematria of Gan Eden], as Rebbe Nachman explains in Torah 6, the secret of "Hamtayn" (wait) shares the exact same letters as "Matanah" (gift). And through this, may I merit to ascend to the Fiftieth Gate, and through this, may You reveal to me secrets from the Fiftieth Gate, from the Primordial Man of the Primordial Man (Adam Kadmon d'Adam Kadmon). Please, Hashem, You "look through the windows, peer through the lattices." "Set me as a seal upon Your heart, as a seal upon Your arm, for love is as strong as death, jealousy is as hard as the grave; its flashes are flashes of fire, a flame of God." And in the merit of the trait of patience and waiting, may I be transformed into a flaming fire unto You, and may all my elemental traits: Fire (Eish) 301, Water (Mayim) 90, Wind (Ruach) 214, Earth (Afar) 350 = 955, be transformed into a flaming fire unto You. May I be a burning fire unto You day and night (Yomam VaLailah) = 177, all 24 hours, like Devorah the Prophetess, a "woman of flames" (Eshes Lapidos), from whose tent they saw literal burning fire sparking forth when she prophesied. And day and night = 177, may I burn unto You as a blazing fire, shooting sparks of fire, and may fiery sparks fly from me every single moment and second, especially when I am learning the holy Torah, "For in Him our hearts will rejoice, for we have trusted in His holy Name." And may the verse be fulfilled in me: "For a fire went forth from Heshbon, a flame from the city of Sihon." And may a flaming fire surround me day and night, just as it did for Rabbi Avahu, Rabbi Akiva, Rabbi Elazar ben Arach and his colleagues, and all the students of Rabbi Akiva, who merited that a flaming fire surrounded them day and night = 177. And like Rashbi (Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai) in the Idra (the holy assembly), whom a flaming fire surrounded day and night = 177, every moment and second, and all ten of his students sat surrounded by fire. When Rabbi Chiya wanted to enter the circle of fire, Rashbi sent his son Rabbi Elazar to pass through the fire and make an opening in the fire to bring in the new student, Rabbi Chiya. And just as Rabbi Eliezer HaGadol and Rabbi Yehoshua, the teachers of Rabbi Akiva, merited, when they sat and learned Chumash and the weekly Torah portion at the bris (circumcision) of Elisha ben Avuyah, and suddenly the entire house was surrounded by flaming fire, and despite all the efforts they made to extinguish the fire, they did not succeed. And therefore, Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Yehoshua merited all the secrets of the Leviathan, as it is told: "An incident occurred with Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Yehoshua who were traveling on a ship. Rabbi Yehoshua trembled, and Rabbi Eliezer was shaken. Rabbi Eliezer asked Rabbi Yehoshua, 'Why did you tremble?' He said to him, 'I saw a great light in the sea.' He said to him, 'Perhaps you saw the eyes of the Leviathan, as it is stated, "His eyes are like the eyelids of the morning."'"
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BS"D (With the Help of Heaven)
To Merit the Trait of Patience and Waiting
And to Be a Flaming Fire Unto You
Master of the Universe, grant me the merit of the trait of patience and waiting, and through this, may I merit to enter the Garden of Eden with my physical body = 177 [the gematria of Gan Eden], as Rebbe Nachman explains in Torah 6, the secret of "Hamtayn" (wait) shares the exact same letters as "Matanah" (gift). And through this, may I merit to ascend to the Fiftieth Gate, and through this, may You reveal to me secrets from the Fiftieth Gate, from the Primordial Man of the Primordial Man (Adam Kadmon d'Adam Kadmon). Please, Hashem, You "look through the windows, peer through the lattices." "Set me as a seal upon Your heart, as a seal upon Your arm, for love is as strong as death, jealousy is as hard as the grave; its flashes are flashes of fire, a flame of God." And in the merit of the trait of patience and waiting, may I be transformed into a flaming fire unto You, and may all my elemental traits: Fire (Eish) 301, Water (Mayim) 90, Wind (Ruach) 214, Earth (Afar) 350 = 955, be transformed into a flaming fire unto You. May I be a burning fire unto You day and night (Yomam VaLailah) = 177, all 24 hours, like Devorah the Prophetess, a "woman of flames" (Eshes Lapidos), from whose tent they saw literal burning fire sparking forth when she prophesied. And day and night = 177, may I burn unto You as a blazing fire, shooting sparks of fire, and may fiery sparks fly from me every single moment and second, especially when I am learning the holy Torah, "For in Him our hearts will rejoice, for we have trusted in His holy Name." And may the verse be fulfilled in me: "For a fire went forth from Heshbon, a flame from the city of Sihon." And may a flaming fire surround me day and night, just as it did for Rabbi Avahu, Rabbi Akiva, Rabbi Elazar ben Arach and his colleagues, and all the students of Rabbi Akiva, who merited that a flaming fire surrounded them day and night = 177. And like Rashbi (Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai) in the Idra (the holy assembly), whom a flaming fire surrounded day and night = 177, every moment and second, and all ten of his students sat surrounded by fire. When Rabbi Chiya wanted to enter the circle of fire, Rashbi sent his son Rabbi Elazar to pass through the fire and make an opening in the fire to bring in the new student, Rabbi Chiya. And just as Rabbi Eliezer HaGadol and Rabbi Yehoshua, the teachers of Rabbi Akiva, merited, when they sat and learned Chumash and the weekly Torah portion at the bris (circumcision) of Elisha ben Avuyah, and suddenly the entire house was surrounded by flaming fire, and despite all the efforts they made to extinguish the fire, they did not succeed. And therefore, Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Yehoshua merited all the secrets of the Leviathan, as it is told: "An incident occurred with Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Yehoshua who were traveling on a ship. Rabbi Yehoshua trembled, and Rabbi Eliezer was shaken. Rabbi Eliezer asked Rabbi Yehoshua, 'Why did you tremble?' He said to him, 'I saw a great light in the sea.' He said to him, 'Perhaps you saw the eyes of the Leviathan, as it is stated, "His eyes are like the eyelids of the morning."'"
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