Parashat Tetzaveh and Purim

A person gets up in the morning with such good aspirations, he washes his hands and does what is necessary, and suddenly everything turns upside down. Either we get angry or others get angry at us—neighbors, spouses, in all forms and manners. But Hashem made the whole world like this from the start, and we need to remember only one thing: to smile, to be in joy. This is what remains for us, this is what Hashem wants.

That we, with our patience, with our smiles, with our faith, will get through this. What is faith? Where is there faith? When we understand? No! When we understand, there is no faith. There is faith in the *Chalal HaPanui* (Void). We don't understand what this is and how it is, and what happened and why suddenly, and this child was not accepted to *Cheder*, he didn't succeed and there is no *Cheder* for him, and they send him from place to place and I don't know what to do, and there is no *parnassah* (livelihood) and no apartment.

One must know: everything, everything is *l'chatchila* (intentional from the outset). It was written in advance from the six days of Creation, this is the plan, this is the track. I didn't have a "flat tire," something didn't happen to me that wasn't supposed to happen. Everything that happens with me, everything, everything, everything is the track of the minefield that I need to pass through with smiles, with joy, with love.

There is None Other than Him – Even in Falls

Do you want to awaken? Do you want to draw close to Hashem? Learn to give in. Learn to judge favorably (*kaf zechut*). Learn to look with good eyes, to shine your face. When do the *itaruta d'letata* (awakening from below) and the *itaruta d'leila* (awakening from above) meet? It happens through the simplest things, when one kisses the mezuzah and says: "Hashem help me, I know that this world is 'There is none other than Him' (*Ein Od Milvado*), there is nothing here, I ask for nothing for myself, if for myself then only to exist in order to do Your will."

It is true that I am not constantly at this level, it is a *makif* (surrounding illumination), but I ask Hashem to give me more perception of There is none other than Him. Because the more a person understands "There is none other than Him," the better it is for him. To constantly check if I am on this track of walking with Hashem, if I am on this track to do the will of Hashem.

So I made a mistake, so I got a little confused—Hashem knows that I can get confused. The main thing is that I want, the main thing is that I am happy, the main thing is that I do not look back. The main thing is that I continue, that I want, and act, and start anew every time. A thousand new beginnings. Rebbe Nachman said that he had at least 20 beginnings every day.

Amalek is Us

Parashat Tetzaveh is adjacent to Purim, and it is written:
> "Remember what Amalek did to you"

Everyone knows that one must strike Amalek, exterminate Amalek, kill him. But who is Amalek? Amalek is us! Within each and every one, there is an Amalek inside. As long as Amalek is within us, nothing will help—even if we kill Haman, a Hitler will come, a Titus will come, a Vespasian will come, a Sisera will come. As long as a person does not emerge from his blemishes of the covenant, from his pride—then Haman lives. This Satan enters someone else.

When they killed Haman, that generation was saved, but in every generation, new Hamans arise. Haman is created from transgressions. From every transgression, a Haman is created, a terrorist is created. From every transgression, a Nazi is created. Because when a Nazi comes to kill a Jew—it is I who created this Nazi! I created this terrorist! If I do *teshuvah* (repentance), the terrorist will be burned and erased. So who is Haman? Who is Amalek? Amalek is me. As long as I am in the world, as long as I am alive, the *Geulah* (Redemption) will not come until I turn myself around, change myself; nothing else will help.

V'nahafoch Hu: Turning Haman into Mordechai

And this is the secret of Purim—"V'nahafoch Hu" (and it was turned upside down), that everyone needs to turn themselves from one extreme to the other. On Purim, the sweetness of the river flowing from Eden is revealed. On Purim, everyone ascends to Gan Eden, and everything one eats and drinks on Purim is the Preserved Wine, the Wild Ox, and the Leviathan—it is all poultry from Gan Eden.

Through the light of Purim, says the "Kedushat Yom Tov," who I really am is revealed. This is revealed specifically on Purim, when a person arrives and sees where he truly stands. He merits seeing all his blemishes, all his transgressions; he sees, in essence, that he is Haman. The "Kedushat Levi" says: the moment a person sees his lowliness, where he is holding, he can fall into such despair. And specifically on Purim, he is in terrible danger that everything is revealed to him, he sees what blemishes he is in, blemishes of the eyes, how far he is from faith—and through this, he can fall into terrible despair.

Therefore it is written:
> "Give strong drink to him that is ready to perish, and wine to the bitter in soul"

Therefore, on Purim, one must drink wine, elevate the *Da'at* (mind/consciousness), sing, and rejoice. Because after it becomes clear to a person that essentially "I am Haman, I am the biggest criminal," he can fall into such sadness. Therefore, Chazal established: "A person is obligated to become intoxicated (*l'besumei*) on Purim." Through the "intoxication" and "V'nahafoch Hu," he will see the opposite: A Haman like me, a wicked person like me—behold, thank God, I come to pray! I heard the Megillah! On Purim I was even in the *mikvah*, I even put on Tefillin, I merited such mitzvot!

Then there is no *Kiddush Hashem* (Sanctification of God's Name) greater than this. Because the further a person is, the greater his *Kiddush Hashem* and the greater the joy. Because "Cursed is Haman" turns into "Blessed is Mordechai." Specifically he who knows that he is Haman—he can merit "Blessed is Mordechai."

Burning the Partitions of the Intellect

Every Purim, the illumination of "Yesod Abba" shines upon us, which does not shine at any other time. Yesod Abba is always covered, always in concealment, and when reading the Megillah, a revelation occurs, the illumination of Yesod Abba is revealed. Such great lights descend that everyone can return in true *teshuvah*. Mordechai is Yesod Abba; he is revealed in all his splendor on Purim. Because the illumination of Mordechai is the sphere of faith that there is none other than Him (*Ein Od Milvado*), that there is nothing except Hashem. There may be an Achashverosh, there may be a Haman, they may make decrees—but in truth, they do not exist, they are only fog, and all their words are only to awaken us to *teshuvah*.

All of Purim is to return in *teshuvah*. Purim is not for going wild, not for breaking things, not for vomiting, not for harming anyone. It is literally to do true, true *teshuvah*, as was seen among all of *Anash* in all generations, that on Purim rivers of tears would flow from them during the dancing.

Reb Nosson says that on Purim one needs to "hold one's head" (maintain focus) even more than on Yom Kippur. Because on Yom Kippur we are in the synagogue for 24 hours, sitting confined to the chair, but on Purim we must also drink wine, also rejoice, sing, dance, be attached (*dveikut*) to Hashem—and despite all this, remain with *yishuv hada'at* (settled mind). All the drinking of wine is in order to reach *dveikut*, to see Hashem face to face.

The Shulchan Aruch says (Siman 695, Seif 2) that Heaven forbid a person should think that because of the drinking he can skip *Birkat HaMazon* (Grace After Meals), or miss *Ma'ariv*, or not pray with intention. "To become intoxicated" (*l'besumei*) is not frivolity. To become intoxicated is only on the condition that you do not disparage even one blessing, one custom. The main mitzvah is that a person should be in joy, as it is written:
> "And wine gladdens the heart of man"

On Purim we want the opposite—to burn all the partitions of the intellect. "When wine enters, the secret comes out"—that truly the love of Hashem and the fear of Hashem will be revealed. For if a person is full of love for Hashem and full of *dveikut* in Hashem all year round, then on Purim everything bursts out and he merits to dance from the abundance of love for Hashem. On Purim, we want to burn all the partitions of the intellect through the wine, so that truly the love of Hashem will be revealed and not other things, and he will be able to show love for Hashem for 24 hours.