The Depth of the Call "Shuvu Banim": The Secret of Humiliation and Teshuvah out of Love
Lesson No. 77 | Thursday Night, Parashas Vayigash, Eve of 10 Teves 5757 - Yahrtzeit (anniversary of passing) Seudah (festive meal) of Moharnat in the Yeshiva (Continued in 78)
Every day a Heavenly voice goes forth and proclaims \
The Daily Proclamation: Return, O Rebellious Children
The holy Zohar says that every single day a Heavenly voice goes forth and proclaims: "Return, O rebellious children." Whoever does not hear this Heavenly voice does not understand at all why we are here in this world. He does not grasp the significance of this call.
"Return, O rebellious children, I will heal your rebelliousness"
The holy Shechinah (Divine Presence) calls out to us to return. A person who hears this Heavenly voice understands that he must do teshuvah (repentance). When a person truly hears the call "Shuvu Banim" (Return, children), he understands that the entire purpose of his life is to return to Hashem, May He be blessed.
The Secret of Humiliation and Going to the Field
In order to merit true teshuvah (repentance), a person must be willing to be laughed at. Everyone will turn up their noses at him, give him all sorts of strange looks with their eyes—and specifically through this, his sins are atoned for. A person has an infinite number of sins, and through the humiliations he absorbs in silence, everything is atoned for.
The Gemara in Tractate Yoma says that this is teshuvah (repentance) out of love, a teshuvah that leaves no trace or impression of the sins. To achieve this, one needs to go out to the fields. Sometimes people forget to go to the field; they come looking for lofty secrets, but simply, first of all, one needs to go to the field to do a little Hisbodedus (secluded personal prayer).
What's the big deal? Nothing will happen. Even if it is cold and people are wrapping themselves in Siberian scarves and coats, if a person warms up just a tiny bit from the service of Hashem, what more does he need?
"Do Not Touch Him" – The Protection of Rabbi Akiva
The Gemara in Tractate Chagigah tells of four who entered the Pardes (the esoteric orchard of Torah). Ben Azzai was thrown out, Ben Zoma was thrown out, and "Acher" (Elisha ben Avuyah) was thrown out. They wanted to throw out Rabbi Akiva as well. After all, he only began learning Torah at the age of forty! Until the age of forty he would say: "Who will give me a Torah scholar so that I may bite him like a donkey." It is impossible to even comprehend this.
But Hashem intervened and said to the angels: "Do not touch him! Do not cast him down, he is Mine!"
Rebbe Nachman reveals in Likutey Moharan (Torah 1) that if a person does not hold onto the root of the soul and the Throne of Glory, and if he does not love every Jew with a soul-deep love—the angels throw him out. Who knows how many such people they want to throw out, but sometimes Hashem intervenes and says: "Leave this certain person alone." Why did Rabbi Akiva merit this? Because he was forbearing and overlooked his personal slights.
The Power of One Who Overlooks His Slights
The Gemara in Tractate Taanis illustrates the immense power of one who overlooks his slights. There was an incident with Rabbi Eliezer the Great, who stepped down before the ark to lead the prayers during a drought year. He recited twenty-four blessings (the Shemoneh Esrei prayer with an additional six blessings for a fast day), but he was not answered and no rain fell.
Rabbi Akiva stepped down before the ark, and he was the first to begin reciting the "Avinu Malkeinu" prayer. He said:
"Our Father, our King, we have no King but You... Our Father, our King, for Your sake, have mercy upon us."
And immediately rain fell! Everyone asked: Is it possible to say that Rabbi Akiva is greater than Rabbi Eliezer the Great? A Heavenly voice emerged and said: "No! Rather, this one overlooks his slights, and that one does not overlook his slights."
What is the meaning of "overlooks his slights"? They mock him, laugh at him, make dismissive gestures at him with their eyes and nose—and he remains silent. When a person is willing to be laughed at, he receives the power to bring down rain! If there is a drought year, perhaps someone will laugh at you, and in that merit, you will bring down rain. Go out to the field, absorb the humiliations, and through this, you will bring abundance to the world.
The Attempt to Bring "Acher" Back in Teshuvah (Repentance)
In contrast to Rabbi Akiva who merited protection, Elisha ben Avuya ("Acher") fell. The Jerusalem Talmud in Tractate Chagigah describes the dramatic and turbulent encounter between him and his student, Rabbi Meir.
One day, Rabbi Meir was sitting and delivering a sermon in the study hall in Tiberias. Suddenly, they told him: "Your rabbi is outside, riding a horse on Shabbos!" What a crisis this is for a person—suddenly his rabbi becomes a heretic. Who knows how many students lost their emunah (faith) because their rabbi fell. Elisha ben Avuya was Rabbi Meir's rabbi, a very great man, and despite this, he fell.
Rabbi Meir did not despair. He left the sermon, left the students, and ran after his rabbi in an attempt to bring him back in teshuvah (repentance).
Rabbi Meir's Hint: Double Like Job
"Acher" asked Rabbi Meir: "What did you preach today in the yeshiva?" Rabbi Meir answered him that they learned the verse:
"And Hashem blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning."
Job went through terrible suffering, but in the end, Hashem doubled everything for him. He lived another hundred and forty years in addition to his first seventy years, and all his wealth was doubled.
Rabbi Meir did not say this for no reason; he was hinting to "Acher." He was essentially telling him: "Look, you are also in the aspect of Job. After all, what is a heretic? It is a person who lives in suffering. A person without emunah (faith) has nothing to do in the world. A heretic is the most miserable person in the world—he has no goal, no purpose. He does not know what he is eating, drinking, or living for. This is the greatest suffering that can possibly be!"
Rabbi Meir tried to awaken him: "You have wandered the world for several years without meaning, years have been lost to you. But come, do teshuvah (repentance)! Just as Hashem doubled Job's life and wealth, so too Hashem will double yours. He will return to you the life and the years that you lost."
The Debate Over Despair: Is It Always Possible to Return?
But "Acher" refused to accept the comfort. He answered Rabbi Meir: "Forgive me, but Rabbi Akiva, your rabbi, did not expound the verse this way. He did not say that Hashem simply gave Job a double life because of his suffering, but rather in the merit of the mitzvos and good deeds that he had in his beginning. Job was a wholesome and upright man, God-fearing and shunning evil. But me? I was never wholesome and God-fearing. I was a Torah scholar, but not wholesome. So why on earth would Hashem give me a double life now after I have been a heretic for so many years?"
Rabbi Meir continued to try and expound the verse "Better is the end of a thing than its beginning," to prove that a person is forbidden to ever despair. He brought examples: A person who was a merchant and went bankrupt can return and become very wealthy. A person who learned Torah and forgot it can return and become a Torah scholar. In all of this, he hinted to him: "You too can do teshuvah (repentance)!"
But this homiletical debate concealed beneath it the deepest existential question: Is it possible to do teshuvah (repentance) from any situation? Elisha ben Avuya argued that Rabbi Akiva expounded: "Better is the end of a thing than its beginning—provided that it was good in its beginning." Meaning, only someone who was born in holiness and purity, and whose foundations were pure, can be assured that his end will be good.
"But me," Elisha ben Avuya said in his despair, "my story begins completely differently. My story begins with my father, Avuya..." And with that, he sealed his fate to remain outside, while Rabbi Akiva, who knew how to overlook his own honor and absorb humiliations, merited to enter in peace and depart in peace.
Part 1 of 2 — Lesson No. 77
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