The Secret of Illuminating Speech: The Power of a Soft Tongue to Subdue Evil

Lesson No. 2011 | Cassette 2011, 18 Nissan 5740, Disc A

An in-depth article on the correct way to influence others and bring them closer to the truth. The Rav explains the secret of "and you shall speak to the rock" – the obligation to ask Hashem for the right words before approaching a person, and the immense power of a soft tongue, pleasantness, and inner joy to break all resistance.

In order to bring people back in teshuvah (repentance) and draw them closer to the truth, one must first ask for mercy and supplications, out of connection and love for all the souls of the listeners. Only then is the power of the "staff of strength" awakened to subdue the most evil of evils. When a person prays to Hashem that he should merit to bring everyone back in teshuvah (repentance), and then goes and speaks with them – these words are called the "staff of strength."

As it is written:

"And they shall speak of Your might; who can express the mighty acts of Hashem?"

Speech is an aspect of gevurah (might). When a person speaks, he uses gevurah, and then what he speaks enters the listeners. When a person speaks words that come from the heart, the gevurah of the speech enters the hearts of the listeners. Speaking to the wicked, when it is filled with words of gentle persuasion, good and pleasant words – this is the "staff of strength."

And You Shall Speak to the Rock: Preceding with an Appeal to the Supernal Heart

However, before a person approaches to speak to the people, he must first fulfill the commandment: "And you shall speak to the rock." The rock is the Supernal Heart, the "Rock of my heart." Speaking to the rock means speaking to Hashem and asking: "Give me words with which I can bring people back in teshuvah (repentance)."

Only after a person has drawn down Torah with mercy and supplications can he take the "staff of strength" – these are the beautiful and pleasant words – and speak words of moral instruction and mercy to the people, so that they awaken to true teshuvah (repentance) and regret all their rebellions. If a person acts in the correct order, asking first with mercy and supplications and not forcing the hour, his speech becomes a beautiful melody that subdues the most evil of evils.

The approach to Hashem must be out of humility and mercy, and not coming with a demand of "Give me Torah" by force. A person should ask: "Master of the Universe, You graciously endow man with knowledge and teach mortals understanding, You give to all the destitute – so give me too a little wisdom, understanding, and knowledge." When a person asks in a tone of mercy and supplications, he merits that Hashem gives him words so good and pleasant that everyone returns in teshuvah (repentance) from his words.

The Secret of the Shofar: The Melody Within the Speech

In order to influence, one does not necessarily need to shout, scold, rebuke, or get angry. A person can speak in a loud and strong voice, but these must be pleasant and good words that give a good feeling and joy to the other person. Regarding this it is said:

"And you, raise your voice like a shofar"

Rebbe Nachman explains that the word "KaShoFaR" (like a shofar) is an acronym for the four types of melody: Kaful (double), Shilush (triple), Pashut (simple), Ribua (quadruple). These are the four foundations of melody from which all the melodies in the world are comprised, cascading down from the worlds of Asiyah, Yetzirah, Beriah, and Atzilut. When a person speaks, his speech must be like a pleasant and good melody.

One merits this level only through prayer. If, before a person goes to speak, he asks: "Master of the Universe, give me pleasant words that people will be moved and inspired by," then Hashem fulfills in him, "Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it." He opens his mouth, and Hashem fills it with such beautiful words; he remembers a Midrash or a story while speaking, and it comes out so pleasantly that everyone begins running to serve Hashem.

A Shining Face: The Joy That Draws Hearts

Sometimes, says Rebbe Nachman, we draw people close even through mundane conversation or a simple story. The main thing is that they see you. It is enough for them to see a person with a face shining with joy and happiness, and they already return in teshuvah (repentance).

People in the world are searching for joy. A person is willing to box, take beatings, and be broken just to win and feel happy. But when they see a person who has nothing materially, yet his face radiates happiness simply because he started learning Torah – from this alone they return in teshuvah (repentance). The moment they see upon you that you are happy and joyous, people understand that you have found the way.

For this, one must pray a lot and have self-sacrifice: to merit illuminating words, that the whole world will run to hear them. When a person merits this, even the most distant ones are drawn after him and return in complete teshuvah (repentance).

The Mistake of Striking: The Immense Power of a Soft Tongue

This was the hint that Hashem hinted to Moshe Rabbeinu at the Waters of Meribah: "Take the staff, and you shall speak to the rock." The correct order was first "and you shall speak to the rock" – to do hitbodedut (personal prayer) and ask Hashem for words, and only afterwards "take the staff" – to use the words (the staff) to speak to the people pleasantly and bring them back in teshuvah (repentance) ahead of entering the Land of Israel.

But Moshe Rabbeinu made a mistake and understood the order in reverse. He took the staff and struck the rock. A strike means saying a harsh word, scolding the other out of anger and nervousness. When a person scolds another or says a harsh word, he brings destruction to the world. With nervousness, nothing is accomplished. Even if it seems that the other person got scared and did what he was told, if the words had been said in a pleasant manner, it would have worked much better.

A person must accustom himself to speak with a soft tongue, even when it is difficult for him and even when he is provoked. He comes home tired, boiling, and irritated – how is his wife to blame, who waited for him all night for a good word? If he speaks a harsh word, he has delivered a strike.

A soft tongue will break a bone. A person does not know that with a soft word he conquers the entire world. It works exactly like in martial arts (judo): the enemy comes to attack you with all his vigor and energy to swallow you up, and you answer him with one soft word, quietly and pleasantly. He becomes confused, all his energy turns back on him, and he shatters to pieces. Thus, with pleasantness and the power of patience, one wins all the wars and draws the entire world closer to our Father in Heaven.

Part 1 of 2 — Lesson No. 2011

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