The Secret of the Union of a Bride and Groom and the Drawing Down of Spiritual Intellect in the First Year
Lesson No. 106 | It is known that the union of a bride and groom, in its supernal root, is very, very high. It is even higher than Yom Kippur, as the Degel Machaneh Ephraim says, that a bride and groom are much higher than Yom Kippur. Therefore, we do not say Tachanun (supplication prayers), because their sins are already forgiven without the need for nefilas apayim (falling on the face in prayer). How are the sins forgiven? By receiving the mochin (spiritual intellect and awareness). For a person does not sin unless a spirit of folly enters him. So now, these seven days of feasting are like seven days of Yom Kippur; it is like having fourteen days of Yom Kippur. It is exceedingly high, elevated above the high, where no thought can grasp it at all. No thought and no mind can absorb and understand to which worlds the bride and groom ascend. They ascend to hidden and concealed worlds, like Adam and Eve before the sin. As the Imrei Emes says in Parshas Vayikra, they ascend to the Light of the Seven Days, the Hidden Light, and are concealed in supernal and hidden worlds. From there, they draw down abundance to everyone in their presence. Throughout all seven days, they draw down such an abundance of mochin, and through these mochin, all sins are forgiven. A person's mochin are completed through the dancing and the songs sung with the bride and groom. Through this, vessels are created for all the wondrous mochin that descend to the entire congregation, and especially to the couple themselves—mochin for their entire lives. Because according to how much the bride and groom rejoice during these days—not sleeping, not eating, only rejoicing in Hashem, only feeling the supernal union and the dveikus (cleaving) to Hashem—so are mochin bestowed upon them now for all seventy years of life. Every day corresponds to ten years, so every two and a half hours corresponds to an entire year. And all this is the aspect of the aforementioned Torah teaching stated about a wedding: "For the light of the blazing heart of a Jewish person is infinite." Every hour comes out like half a day; two and a half hours is like a day. Because the light of the blazing heart is from the root of his soul, for now they ascend to the root of the soul. Rebbe Nachman says in Torah 49, "The light of the blazing heart of a Jewish person is infinite," meaning that the soul ascends to infinity. The soul of the bride and groom ascends to infinity, ascending all the way to Binah (Understanding). The groom himself transforms into Binah, and they must elevate everyone in their presence. They elevate them to the Sefirah of Binah, to the Light of Ein Sof (Infinity). Now they literally ascend to the Light of Ein Sof. Because Jerusalem is Malchus d'Atzilus (the Kingship of the World of Emanation). The Holy One, blessed be He, swore that He would not enter the Jerusalem of Above until He enters the Jerusalem of Below. So the Jerusalem of Below is called Malchus d'Atzilus, and the Jerusalem of Above is called Malchus d'Ein Sof (the Kingship of Infinity), the Kingship of Adam Kadmon (Primordial Man). Now a union takes place between Malchus d'Atzilus and Malchus d'Ein Sof, which is the bride and groom. It is as if one has rebuilt one of the ruins of Jerusalem. For the man is the aspect of Ein Sof, and the woman is the aspect of Atzilus. The man is the aspect of Malchus d'Ein Sof, the Jerusalem of Above, and the woman is the Jerusalem of Below, the Kingship of Malchus d'Atzilus. He is Malchus d'Ein Sof, so now a union takes place. This means a ruin from the ruins of Jerusalem has now been rebuilt; meaning, Jerusalem is built both above and below. For if the bride and groom truly merit holiness and purity, then they merit to elevate the entire congregation together with them up to infinity, beyond all searching, to draw down mochin for everyone. Because now, for twelve months, the Zohar says in Parshas Ki Seitzei, "Hashem builds Jerusalem." There is a Jerusalem of Above and a Jerusalem of Below. The Holy One, blessed be He, swore not to enter the Jerusalem of Above until He enters the Jerusalem of Below. Malchus d'Atzilus is called the Jerusalem of Below, and Malchus d'Ein Sof is called the Jerusalem of Above. This is the union of the bride and groom. So here is a wondrous explanation of the prayer "Hashem builds Jerusalem." We must connect Malchus d'Atzilus with Malchus d'Ein Sof. The groom is Malchus d'Ein Sof, and he must receive the light from the Ein Sof, to receive the mochin. His role is to receive the mochin and bestow them upon the bride, who is called Malchus d'Atzilus. The Zohar explains this in Parshas Ki Seitzei: "When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out to the army... he shall be free for his home for one year, and he shall gladden his wife whom he has taken." Let us look for a moment at the verse in Ki Seitzei: "When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out to the army, nor shall he be subjected to any matter; he shall be free for his home for one year, and he shall gladden his wife whom he has taken." All the Chassidic books explain that "free" (naki) means clean from all desires. In the first year, they are clean from all desires. In the first year, they live only from the Infinite Light, only from dveikus (cleaving) to Hashem. For a year, such a light descends, such a light, that on the contrary, they are cleansed of all desires. Therefore, it is called Kiddushin (sanctification), not just marriage or a wedding. It is called Kiddushin, because the bride and groom are sanctified in the first year with such immense holiness. The Zohar in Ki Seitzei (277b) says that this is the concept of the twelve months. Twelve months, it says, correspond to the twelve oxen. Solomon's Sea (the copper basin in the Temple) stood upon twelve oxen. And some say this corresponds to the twelve oxen brought by the tribal leaders, which never died. Now the bride and groom receive such mochin of the Resurrection of the Dead; they can simply revive the dead. The bride and groom merit to cleave to Hashem now. And during this year, it is the entire year, but in the seven days, the Light of the Seven Days literally shines. They literally ascend to the Sefirah of Binah—Ima Ila'ah (the Higher Mother). This is the Sefirah of Yom Kippur, and even higher than Yom Kippur, says the Degel Machaneh Ephraim. Much higher than Yom Kippur. They draw down such mochin to all those accompanying them, to all those participating with them, to all those rejoicing with them. Such mochin that are even greater than what is bestowed on Yom Kippur. This happens throughout these seven days, and also throughout the entire year. Such mochin are bestowed upon them, which they will not receive again for the rest of their lives, except in accordance with what they received in the first seven days. As we said, every two and a half hours is like a day, and a day corresponds to a year, or a day corresponds to ten years, so two and a half hours corresponds to a year. And afterward, they have another twelve months in which such mochin are bestowed upon them, which they will not receive again in all their lives, except in accordance with how they merited to draw it down in these seven days and these twelve months. This corresponds to the twelve oxen upon which Solomon's Sea stands. Solomon's Sea represents Malchus d'Atzilus, which stands upon twelve oxen. This is the twelve months. And the rectification of the bride takes place in these twelve months. He draws down mochin to the bride. The groom is obligated to draw down mochin to the bride. He must draw it down to her. He is Malchus d'Ein Sof, he is obligated. He is considered Solomon's Sea, which must bestow upon the bride, who stands upon twelve oxen, representing the twelve months. This is what is meant by "one year." What is this year? Is it a year of vacation? What is a year of vacation? It is a year in which he must draw down mochin! It is not a vacation! For a year he is obligated to draw down such mochin now. He must draw them down during this year. Every month he receives a completely new mind, and he draws down mochin to the bride during these twelve months. He must draw down such mochin to her that will fill her for her entire life, for all 120 years. These 12 months correspond to 120 years. This is the awesome secret of these 12 months, that the Torah says, "and he shall gladden his wife for a full year." What is a full year? Why not half a year? Why not 9 months? Pregnancy is 9 months! Why not two years? Nursing is two years! Why specifically a year? Rather, 12 months, says the Zohar, contains awesome secrets. The morning (boker) stands on 12 months. The 12 oxen are Solomon's Sea. The groom is Solomon's Sea, he is the aspect of King Solomon. He must bestow upon the 12 oxen; he bestows such mochin upon the 12 months. This is a secret, "this is the secret of the year." There is an awesome secret here why it is a year. Why not 9 months? Why not two years? Why specifically a year? Because primarily, the groom must gladden. He must gladden! The groom might say, "Why should I gladden her? Let her gladden me a little too! What, do I have to just dance and sing all day? Am I a singer? Am I this? I want to sit quietly! Let her sing a little! Let her gladden a little!" So the Zohar says, No! This is a mistake! It does not say "and she shall gladden her husband," it does not say "and they shall both rejoice," it does not say "and they shall gladden each other." It says, "and he shall gladden his wife." This is his mitzvah! He might say after 7 days, he will tell his wife, "Listen, my dear wife, I'm already tired of this, now you start gladdening me a little." Then he transgresses a positive commandment! He transgresses a positive commandment! He wants a division of labor, he wants equal rights. There are no equal rights in the Torah. In the Torah, there are no equal rights; there are things he is obligated to do, and things she is obligated to do. And everyone must fulfill their role with mesiras nefesh (self-sacrifice). His role is to draw down mochin to his wife. That is his role, says the Zohar, "and he shall gladden his wife." It does not say they shall gladden each other, it does not say they shall rejoice together. It says, "and he shall gladden his wife." The man must draw down mochin to the woman. He needs to have a mind! He needs to study a lot of Gemara so he will have a mind! Because if he doesn't study Gemara, he won't have a mind! He needs to start learning at 9:00 in the morning, for 8 hours. Whether it's until 1:00, and then from 3:00 to 7:00, the 8 hours. If not, he has no mochin! He has no mochin! Many women run away back home after a month. They run home. "What, did we marry a wall? Did we marry a chair? A table? What did we marry?" When they run home after a month, the father comes, the mother comes, they appease them, and so on. But the man must be a father, and a mother, and a brother, and a sister, and a friend, and also gladden her. He must be everything! He must be everything! That is why he is a man! That is why he is a man! She is the Sefirah of Malchus (Kingship), and he has the 9 Sefiros. He must gladden her, and then she will be "a woman of valor, the crown of her husband." If he gladdens her, she will ascend to Keser (Crown), and then she becomes the crown of her husband! "And he shall gladden his wife" - it is not written "and they shall rejoice" (together), nor "and he shall rejoice" (himself), but rather "and he shall gladden." "He must bring joy to the bride." He is obligated to gladden her in this manner. And if he gladdens her, says the Zohar, there is joy in all the worlds. He might say, "What do I have to do with this bride? What do I have to do with this woman? We got married! Fine. She fell into the trap, she fell into the trap, what can I do? Can I gladden her all day? Dance? Sing? What can I do? I want to rest a little, sleep a little. I come home, I want to sleep! To rest! To sleep until morning! In the morning I'll get up and go about my business! We'll barely meet on Shabbos!" So the Torah says, No! If you gladden your wife, you gladden 12 worlds. There are 12 heavenly halls above that only receive their joy from the fact that the husband comes home with joy, with mochin, with Daas (knowledge). Therefore, "he shall be free for his home for one year." They also give him freedom. What is "free"? Free from the king's service, but not free from Hashem's service! He is free from all the king's duties, free from taxes, free from property taxes, free from poll taxes, and also free from an optional war. A mandatory war, which is a matter of saving lives, he is not free from! But from an optional war he is free. "He shall not go out to the army to wage war," because he must gladden the 12 halls in heaven. There are 12 halls, and every month the bride and groom enter a different hall. "Joy is found above and below." Every month they must enter—there are 12 halls, and every month they enter a different hall, and there must be joy above and below. "And joy comes above." By gladdening his wife, he awakens joy in heaven. He literally gladdens the holy Shechinah (Divine Presence). Since she is Malchus d'Atzilus, and he is Malchus d'Ein Sof, she is called the Shechinah and he is the aspect of the Holy One, blessed be He. Every single moment there is joy in the home, there is light in the home, another union is created between the Holy One, blessed be He, and His Shechinah. Another union between the Holy One, blessed be He, and His Shechinah. That is why there are dances and circles danced throughout the Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachos), and from this, it must be drawn down for the entire year. It should be drawn down all the time, drawn down for their entire lives. "Fortunate," says the Zohar, "fortunate is the holy nation." Where is there such a Torah? Where are there such mitzvos? Where are there such revelations of secrets? No nation or tongue has merited this! Has not merited such revelations! Such secrets! No nation or tongue! "Fortunate is the holy nation," that this is only revealed to the people of Israel. As the Zohar says in Parshas Balak: When the Holy One, blessed be He—it says, "Hashem came from Sinai and shone from Seir to them; He appeared from Mount Paran, and came with myriads of holy ones." First, Hashem had to... what does it mean "Hashem came from Sinai and shone from Seir to them"? Hashem first went to Seir, right? And what is "shone from Seir to them"? The Zohar in Balak says: When the Holy One, blessed be He, went to the children of Seir (Esau) to offer them the Torah, He had a terrible fear—maybe they will accept it? Maybe they will accept it? Heaven forbid, if they accepted it, we would be lost! Hashem went in terrible fear. The Zohar says it wasn't for nothing. He went to Seir, He offered them the Torah! And what if they had accepted it? Why not? What's wrong with the Torah? There is Shabbos! You sleep, you dance, you eat three meals. So Hashem was afraid. Hashem will bring the Jews to teshuvah (repentance), but regarding the nations, Hashem was literally afraid. Maybe they will accept Shabbos? Maybe, heaven forbid, such joy—groom, bride, Sheva Brachos, a year to rejoice, such secrets. Hashem had a terrible fear. So the Zohar says, "Hashem, when You went forth from Seir, when You marched out of the field of Edom, the earth trembled." When the Holy One, blessed be He, returned from Seir, He "shone." He returned with such joy that they did not accept the Torah. With such joy He returned. Heaven forbid, if they had accepted the Torah, what would we have done? "What is meant by 'trembled'?" At first, the earth trembled; it was terrified to death. And the same with Paran: "He appeared from Mount Paran." He appeared with joy from Mount Paran, because He immediately showed the nations something they wouldn't want. But He was afraid they might say, "Show us something else, let's see, let's negotiate. Maybe You have other offers?" If you immediately show a person something not to his liking, he says, "I don't want it! Leave me alone!" Hashem was afraid they might have a little more sense and say, "Is this all You have to offer? Maybe other things? Let's negotiate. Let's take part of the mitzvos. If not 'Do not murder,' then there are 612 other mitzvos. We'll take 612 mitzvos. We'll say one mitzvah is too hard for us, but give us the 612 mitzvos." So the Holy One, blessed be He, immediately—it was such a joy for the Holy One, blessed be He, that they immediately told Him, "We don't want it. If there is such a mitzvah, we don't want any of it at all!" Sometimes a person is shown something, they start by showing him the thing they know he won't want, misleading him from Heaven. So the Zohar says: "Joy was found above and below." The Holy One, blessed be He, came with such joy. And it wasn't for nothing. Esau could have said to Him, "Why did You offer me such a deal? There was a bit of deception here." He could have complained later. So Hashem said to him, "Maybe anyway? Maybe anyway you'll accept it?" He said, "No! If there is such a thing, I don't want it. We're done. This whole matter is disqualified for me. I've lost all desire for this whole thing." So Hashem said to him, "Maybe anyway? Maybe anyway?" Hashem tried to persuade him several times, so he wouldn't say, "They just made me an offer for nothing, they just enticed me, they just tricked me. Why didn't they show me other things?" So Hashem went back again and again. Then the Holy One, blessed be He, "shone from Seir to them, He appeared to the people of Israel from Mount Paran..." Then the Holy One, blessed be He, skipped straight to "Do not murder," and He went to Samael, the ministering angel of Esau, and said to him, "Maybe anyway you'll accept the Torah?" "What? My entire vitality is only wars! What does Esau do? Wars! Conquering countries! If I don't conquer countries, what will I do? I'll go crazy from boredom! What does he have to do? Does he study Torah? A person studies for 8 hours, what does he have to do for the other 16 hours now? He has already worked for 10 years, he's going crazy. He goes and makes wars, conquers countries, makes weapons of destruction, dreams of conquering countries. At least he dreams about it. He can't yet, it's impossible to see, because Hashem arranged that the other country also has the same weapon of destruction, so it's impossible to activate the weapon of destruction. But everyone dreams, 'Maybe anyway the other will be a little weak, maybe anyway I'll have a little courage.' So everyone dreams their whole life about when they will finally go conquer countries." This is the entire vitality of Esau. Even though in practice we see a world war happens only once in a while—it happened and ended in '17, they already started in '39 after 22 years... after 21 years they already started a world war. Now, thank God, it's been 55 years without a world war. It's impossible to know what will happen in another moment. In any case, the dream of a world war—just in this dream, there is such pleasure, such vitality for Esau. "I already have this and that. Russia already has 30,000 atomic missiles, and America on the other hand surely also has 30,000 atomic missiles. And everyone counts their missiles. And whenever I want, I can conquer the world. I am simply just having mercy, I am acting beyond the letter of the law, I am being a little considerate of the world. But whoever annoys me, I'll show them who I am." All this nonsense is the entire vitality of Esau! This is his entire vitality! He has no other vitality! Does he get vitality from a cup of tea? So Esau says, "This is my entire vitality. I dream of wars. If I don't make wars, I dream of wars! This is what I live from! You want to take this vitality away from me? This vitality? So what will I do?" So He said to him, "Maybe anyway you'll accept?" He said, "So to whom shall I give it?" So Hashem arranged it thus. Esau said, "Give it to the children of Jacob. The children of Jacob, give it to them!" And he thought in his heart, "It will be good for them. The children of Jacob will accept 'Do not murder' and they won't make wars. And if they do make wars, He will remove them from the world." The Holy One, blessed be He, said to him, "But aren't you the firstborn? You are the firstborn! You deserve it!" He said, "What? I already sold my birthright a long time ago! And I already conceded the blessings, as it is written, 'And he blessed him there.' I already conceded the blessings, and the birthright already belongs to Jacob." So Hashem orchestrated that he would concede the blessings and the birthright once again. "I already sold the birthright, and I agree that he is the firstborn. Just don't give... just let them give the Torah to Jacob." After that, He went... so the Holy One, blessed be He, said, "Listen, give me some advice. Look, you don't want it, 'Do not murder' doesn't find favor in your eyes. I will go to them, and something won't find favor in their eyes either. There are 613 mitzvos here. Am I sure they will accept? You have already disappointed Me. Now give Me advice. I am afraid of these Jews. These Jews, I will come to them, I will tell them 'Shabbos,' so they will say they want to go to the beach. 'Oneg Shabbos' (Sabbath delight) is going to the beach! I know what they can say, just like the secular people say today!" They didn't claim this back then because they had the mochin, they saw the mochin of Shabbos, they saw the Shabbos. But the moment a person doesn't see the mochin of Shabbos, then for him, Oneg Shabbos is driving 6 hours to the Kinneret and roasting there in the sun. And the food falls into the sand, and they fight there, and all the children cry and scream, "Why did we travel?" And he calls this Oneg Shabbos. And the steak burns there on the fire, completely burns, nothing is left. Everyone knows, everyone simply told me exactly how it goes. And after that, they have to drive back for 6 hours. And tomorrow, they come to work, they don't even know how they are working. Legs get caught in cars, hands get cut, fingers get cut, they don't even know what's happening. It's not enough that for 6 days he is exhausted; the seventh day is equal to all 6 days. It's literally as the Gemara says, the seventh day is equal to all six. He was so exhausted, and toiled so much, and suffered so much, all six days. Sunday arrives and he doesn't even know what's happening. Yet they still call it Oneg Shabbos. I know, there are all sorts of concepts that we are not familiar with. So the Holy One, blessed be He, says, "I will come to the Jew to accept Shabbos, they will say they want to go to the beach. I know what they can say to Me! So give Me advice on how to bribe them. I know I need to come to them with mochin. I need to come and show them some lights. I can't just tell them 'Shabbos!' Shabbos! What, on Shabbos we don't go to the beach? We don't go on trips? What is this? We can't even pick up a phone? What's going on here? So I want to bribe them!" So Samael said: "Master of the Universe, all the lights that I have, all the lights that I have, I am giving them to You now. Show them to the people of Israel, give them to the people of Israel. The main thing is that they accept the Shabbos, the main thing is that they accept the Torah. I will strip off all my lights, I will be blacker than black, I am willing to be complete darkness. The main thing is, leave me alone, give the Torah to the Jews." Samael stripped himself of all his lights, says the Zohar here in Balak. He stripped off all his lights, and Hashem came with a bounty of lights. He came with lightning, thunder, a bounty of lights. They saw all the lights in the world, and all the lights that Samael had, Hashem brought to the people of Israel. Because, it says, this is the root: Samael donated of his own so that the people of Israel would see such lights, Shabbos with such lights, with such experiences, to feel such things that there would be absolutely no thought of not accepting the Shabbos. After that, Hashem went to Ishmael. He said to Ishmael, "Do you want to be bribed? Take the light and give from all the hosts of heaven, and give it to them so they will accept." After that, He went to Ishmael... He went to the Arab and said, "Arab, well, what do you think of the Torah?" He immediately showed him what the Ishmaelites—Hashem have mercy—He showed them what He showed them. They said if there is such a thing, they are not willing, not willing! He said, "Why? For what reason? What's the matter?" He started to beg, the Holy One, blessed be He, started to beg. He said, "What, I only want you to accept." He said, "No, give it to Isaac, give it... Ishmael's brother is Isaac, give it to my brother's children." He said, "Why? But you are the firstborn? You are the firstborn!" "I give up the birthright, I give up everything, just give it to the children of Isaac, not to me! Not to me! Not to me!" So "He appeared from Mount Paran." What is "He appeared from Mount Paran"? So Hashem said, "And what will I do if they don't agree, just as you don't agree? Maybe they won't agree either?" He said, "Take, take, take all my lights, all the bounty of lights that I have, all the lights, and give them to the people of Israel." So the Holy One, blessed be He, appeared with even more lights. He had all the lights of Samael, all the lights of the Arab, all the lights. All the lights were stripped away, they remained in complete darkness, utter darkness. And with all these lights, Hashem appeared at Mount Sinai. This is "He shone from Seir to them." He shone like the sun. He came from Mount Seir like the sun, because the lights of Samael are greater than the sun. An angel shines more than the sun. So "He shone"—they saw lights greater than the sun. Because "and He shone" means He took all the lights that Samael had, and with that He appeared. After that, He took all the lights that the Arab had. There were slightly fewer lights there, so He only "appeared" (hofia). He only appeared. And light is also called Yifa'as (appearance/shining). The light is called... so He appeared. And not only that, "and He came with myriads of holy ones." What is myriads of holy ones? And so He went to the ministers of all the nations of the world before Hashem came to the mountain, to Israel. He went to the ministers of all the nations of the world. To everyone He offered what He offered, to everyone He offered the Torah. And everyone found some flaw, that this "Do not steal," and this is like this, this "Do not lie," and in each and every one, this "Do not wrong one another." Everyone just found some thing that didn't suit them. So the Holy One, blessed be He, also said to him, "So how will I give it to them? Who says they will agree?" So every angel said, "I am giving You all my lights, all my lights, give it to the Jews, just, just leave me alone!" And so Hashem came with a bounty of lights, "He came with myriads of holy ones." He took all the lights of all those appointed over the rest of the people of the world, and thus He came with a bounty of lights to Israel. They completely forgot that there was a sea, that there was this, they only saw the lights, they only saw the mochin. And in every mitzvah they saw the lights, they saw the mochin that are in every mitzvah, and the lights that are in every mitzvah. So the Zohar says, "Fortunate is the holy nation, that the Holy One, blessed be He, reveals to them such secrets." What is "and he shall gladden"? What are the seven days of feasting? What are the 12 months of gladdening the bride and groom? That the man provides the mochin! It is an obligation upon him! After seven days the man might say, "I'm already tired, now let my wife gladden me a little!" He says, No! This is your obligation for the 12 months! And through this you gladden all the upper halls. And fortunate is the nation to whom such secrets are revealed, and the Holy One, blessed be He, rejoices in them, and they are meritorious in this world, and they are meritorious in the World to Come.
A profound article on the immense virtue of a bride and groom, whose holiness is even higher than Yom Kippur. The Rav explains, based on the holy Zohar, the spiritual role of the husband in the first year of marriage – to draw down mochin, to elevate the Shechinah (Divine Presence), and to gladden his wife with mesiras nefesh (self-sacrifice).
It is known that the union of a bride and groom in its supernal root is very high. As the Degel Machaneh Ephraim says, the virtue of a bride and groom is higher than Yom Kippur. Therefore, Tachanun is not said, because the sins are forgiven without the need for nefilas apayim. How are the sins forgiven? By receiving the mochin. After all, a person does not sin unless a spirit of folly enters him, and now, the seven days of feasting are literally like seven days of Yom Kippur.
No thought and no mind can absorb and understand to which worlds the bride and groom ascend. They ascend to hidden and concealed worlds, literally like Adam and Eve before the sin. As the Imrei Emes says in Parshas Vayikra, they ascend to the Light of the Seven Days, to the Hidden Light, and from there they draw down abundance to everyone in their presence. During all seven days they draw down an abundance of mochin, and through these mochin all sins are forgiven.
The person participating in the joy has his mochin completed through the dancing and the songs sung with the bride and groom. Through this, the vessels are made for all the wondrous mochin that descend to the entire congregation, and especially to the bride and groom themselves, who receive mochin for their entire lives. Just as the bride and groom rejoice during these days—not sleeping, not eating, but only rejoicing in Hashem and feeling the supernal union and dveikus—so are mochin bestowed upon them for all seventy years of their lives.
All this is in the aspect of the Torah of our holy Rebbe (Likutei Moharan, Torah 49) which speaks about the virtue of a wedding:
"For the light of the blazing heart of a Jewish person is infinite."
The soul of the bride and groom ascends to infinity, up to the Sefirah of Binah. The groom himself transforms into Binah, and their role is to elevate everyone in their presence to the Infinite Light.
Building Jerusalem of Above and Below
The holy Zohar in Parshas Ki Seitzei explains the verse "Hashem builds Jerusalem." There is a Jerusalem of Above and a Jerusalem of Below. The Holy One, blessed be He, swore that He would not enter the Jerusalem of Above until He enters the Jerusalem of Below. The Jerusalem of Below is called Malchus d'Atzilus, and the Jerusalem of Above is called Malchus d'Ein Sof.
At the time of the Chuppah, a union is made between Malchus d'Atzilus and Malchus d'Ein Sof. The groom is the aspect of Malchus d'Ein Sof (Jerusalem of Above), and the bride is the aspect of Malchus d'Atzilus (Jerusalem of Below). Therefore, our Sages said that whoever gladdens a bride and groom is as if he built one of the ruins of Jerusalem—meaning, Jerusalem is being built now, both above and below.
The Secret of the First Year: He Shall Be Free for His Home
The role of the groom is to receive the light and the mochin from the Ein Sof, and to bestow them upon the bride. Regarding this, the Torah says:
"When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out to the army... he shall be free for his home for one year, and he shall gladden his wife whom he has taken."
In Chassidic books, it is explained that the word "free" (naki) means clean from all desires. In the first year, the bride and groom live only from the Infinite Light and from dveikus to Hashem. Such a tremendous light descends that through it they are cleansed of all desires. Therefore, this stage is called Kiddushin (sanctification), because they are sanctified with supernal holiness.
The holy Zohar (277b) explains that the secret of the twelve months of the first year corresponds to the twelve oxen upon which stood the Sea that King Solomon made in the Holy Temple. Solomon's Sea alludes to the groom, and the oxen allude to the bride and to the twelve months.
The Torah says, "he shall be free for his home for one year." People think this is a year of vacation. Why a vacation? This is a year in which the groom is obligated to draw down mochin to the bride! Every month he receives a completely new mind, and he must bestow it upon the bride during all twelve months. These are mochin that will fill her for all one hundred and twenty years of her life.
And He Shall Gladden His Wife - The Spiritual Obligation of the Husband
The groom might ask: "Why should I be the only one to gladden her? Let her gladden me too! What, do I have to just dance and sing all day? I want to sit quietly!" He is looking for equal rights and a division of labor.
But the Zohar says that this is a complete mistake. It is not written in the Torah "and she shall gladden her husband," nor is it written "and they shall both rejoice together." It is written explicitly: "and he shall gladden his wife". This is his mitzvah! The role of the man, with mesiras nefesh, is to draw down mochin to his wife. In order to have mochin to bestow, he must study Torah and toil in it, because without study he will not have mochin.
A husband needs to be everything for his wife – a father, a mother, a brother, a sister, and a friend. He must always bring her joy. When he brings her joy, she ascends from the Sefirah of Malchus (Kingship) straight to the Sefirah of Kesser (Crown), and then the verse is fulfilled through her: "A woman of valor is the crown of her husband."
When a husband comes home with joy, with mochin (expanded consciousness) and daas (holy awareness), and brings joy to his wife, he awakens gladness in Heaven. He brings joy to the twelve supernal Heichalos (Heavenly chambers), and every month the groom and bride enter a different chamber. By bringing joy to his wife, he literally brings joy to the holy Shechinah (Divine Presence), and causes a yichud (unification) between the Holy One, Blessed be He, and His Shechinah.
Regarding this, the holy Zohar proclaims: "Zaka'in ama kadisha!" (Fortunate is the holy nation). Where else is there such a Torah? Where else are there such mitzvos and revelations of secrets? No other nation or tongue has merited such revelations. Fortunate is the nation to whom these awesome secrets are revealed – what the essence of the seven days of feasting is, and what the secret of the first year of marriage is, during which the groom dedicates all his strength to draw down mochin (expanded consciousness) and bring joy to his wife.
Part 2 of 4 — Lesson No. 106