The Secret of the Union of a Bride and Groom: The Virtue of the First Year and the Building of the Worlds
Class No. 106 | It is known that the union of a chassan (groom) and kallah (bride) in its supernal root is very, very high. It is higher than Yom Kippur. As the Degel Machaneh Ephraim says, a bride and groom are much higher than Yom Kippur. Therefore, we do not say Tachanun (supplication prayers), because their sins are already forgiven without falling on our faces (in the Vidui confession prayer). How are the sins forgiven? By receiving mochin (spiritual intellect/awareness). For a person does not sin unless a spirit of folly enters him. So now, this is a time of seven days of Yom Kippur. There were fourteen days of Yom Kippur here, which is very, very high, high above high, where no thought can grasp it at all. No thought and no mind can absorb and understand to which worlds the bride and groom ascend. They ascend to hidden and concealed worlds, like Adam and Eve before the sin. As the Imrei Emes says in Parshas Vayikra, they ascend to the light of the Seven Days of Creation, the Hidden Light, and are concealed in supernal, hidden worlds. From there, they draw down abundance to everyone in their presence. Throughout all seven days, they draw down such an abundance of mochin—intellect through which all sins are forgiven. A person's mochin are completed through the dancing and the songs sung with the bride and groom. Through this, we become vessels for all the wondrous mochin that descend to the entire congregation, and especially to them—mochin for their entire lives. Because according to how much the bride and groom rejoice during these days—they don't sleep, they don't eat, they only rejoice in Hashem, they only feel the supernal union, the deveikus (cleaving) to Hashem—so too are mochin drawn down to them now for all seventy years of life. Every day corresponds to ten years. So every hour is like two and a half hours... actually, every hour influences two and a half years. All of this is the aspect of the aforementioned Torah teaching said at the wedding: "For the light of the flaming heart of a Jewish person is infinite." Every hour produces like half a day; two and a half hours is like a day. Because the light of the flaming heart is from the root of his soul, for now they ascend to the root of the soul. Rebbe Nachman says in Torah 49, "The light of the flaming heart of a Jewish person is infinite," meaning the soul ascends to infinity. The soul of the bride and groom ascends to infinity. They ascend up to Binah (Understanding). The groom himself transforms into Binah, and they must elevate everyone in their presence. They elevate them to the Sefirah of Binah, to the Infinite Light (Ohr Ein Sof). Now they literally ascend to the Infinite Light. Because Jerusalem is Malchus d'Atzilus (the Kingship of the World of Emanation). The Holy One, Blessed be He, swore that He would not enter the Jerusalem below until He enters the Jerusalem above. The Jerusalem below is called Malchus d'Atzilus. The Jerusalem above is called Malchus d'Ein Sof (the Kingship of Infinity), the Kingship of Adam Kadmon (Primordial Man). Now there is a union between Malchus d'Atzilus and Malchus d'Ein Sof, which is the bride and groom. It is as if he built one of the ruins of Jerusalem. For the man is the aspect of Atzilus, the man is the aspect of Ein Sof, and the woman is the aspect of Atzilus. So the man is the aspect of Malchus d'Ein Sof, the Jerusalem above, and the woman is the Jerusalem below, she is the Kingship of Kingship, Malchus d'Atzilus. He is Malchus d'Ein Sof. So now a union takes place, meaning a ruin from the ruins of Jerusalem has now been rebuilt. That is to say, Jerusalem is built both above and below. Because if the bride and groom truly merit holiness and purity, then they merit to elevate the entire congregation together with them up to infinity, beyond all investigation, drawing down mochin to everyone. Because now, for twelve months, the Zohar says in Parshas Ki Seitzei, "Hashem builds Jerusalem." There is a Jerusalem above and a Jerusalem below. The Holy One, Blessed be He, swore not to enter the Jerusalem above until He enters the Jerusalem below. Malchus d'Atzilus is called the Jerusalem below, and Malchus d'Ein Sof is called the Jerusalem above. This is the union of the bride and groom. So here is the explanation of the prayer, a wondrous explanation: "Hashem builds Jerusalem." We must connect Malchus d'Atzilus with Malchus d'Ein Sof. The groom is Malchus d'Ein Sof, and he must receive the light from the Infinite. His role is to receive the mochin and bestow them upon the bride, who is called Malchus d'Atzilus. The Zohar explains this in Ki Seitzei: "When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out to the army... and he shall gladden his wife whom he has taken." Let's look for a moment at the verse in Ki Seitzei: "When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out to the army... for any matter; he shall be free for his home for one year, and he shall gladden his wife whom he has taken." All the Chassidic books explain "free" (naki, literally "clean") as being clean from all desires. The first year, they are clean from all desires. The first year, they live only from the Infinite Light, only from deveikus (cleaving) to Hashem. For a year, such a light descends, such a light, that on the contrary, they are cleansed of all desires. Therefore, it is called Kiddushin (sanctification), not just Nisuin (marriage) or a wedding. It is called Kiddushin, because the bride and groom are sanctified in the first year with such holiness. The Zohar says in Ki Seitzei (277b) that this is the concept of the twelve months. Twelve months, it says, corresponds to the twelve oxen. Solomon's Sea (the copper basin in the Temple) stood on twelve oxen. And some say it corresponds to the twelve oxen brought by the tribal leaders, who never died. Now the bride and groom receive such mochin of the resurrection of the dead; they can simply revive the dead. The bride and groom merit to cleave to Hashem now, and in this year, this is the whole year. In the seven days, the light of the Seven Days of Creation literally shines. They literally ascend to the Sefirah of Binah—Imma Ila'ah (the Supernal Mother). This is the Sefirah of Yom Kippur. And higher than Yom Kippur, says the Degel, much higher than Yom Kippur. They draw down such mochin to all who accompany them, to all who participate with them, to all who rejoice with them. Such mochin that are greater than what is drawn down on Yom Kippur. And this is throughout all these seven days, and also throughout the entire year. Throughout the entire year, such mochin are drawn down, mochin that they will not receive again for the rest of their lives, except according to what they received in the first seven days. As we said, every two and a half hours is like a day—corresponding to a year—corresponding to ten years. So two and a half hours corresponds to a year. And afterward, they have another twelve months where such mochin are drawn down to them, mochin they will not receive again in their entire lives, except according to what they merited to draw down in these seven days and in these twelve months. This is the twelve oxen upon which Solomon's Sea stands. Solomon's Sea represents Malchus d'Atzilus, which stands on twelve oxen. This is the twelve months. The rectification of the bride is in these twelve months. He draws down mochin to the bride. The groom must draw down mochin to the bride. He is obligated to draw it down to her. He is Malchus d'Ein Sof, he is obligated. He is considered Solomon's Sea, to draw down to the bride who stands on twelve oxen, which is now the twelve months, as it says "one year." What is this year? Is it a year of vacation? What is a year of vacation? It is a year where he must draw down mochin! It is not a vacation! For a year he must draw down such mochin now. He must draw them down in this year, and every month he receives a completely new mind, and he draws down mochin to the bride in these twelve months. He must draw down such mochin to her that will fill her for her entire life, for all 120 years. These twelve months correspond to 120 years. This is the awesome secret of these twelve months, that the Torah says "and he shall gladden his wife" for a full year. What is a full year? Why not half a year? Why not nine months? Pregnancy is nine months! Why not two years? Nursing is two years! Why specifically a year? Rather, twelve months, says the Zohar, contains awesome secrets, that the morning stands on twelve months, on twelve oxen is Solomon's Sea. The groom is Solomon's Sea, he is the aspect of King Solomon. He must bestow upon the twelve oxen. He bestows such mochin upon the twelve months. This is a secret, "this is the secret of the year." There is an awesome secret here why it is a year. Why not nine months? Why not two years? Why specifically a year? Because primarily, the groom must bring joy! He must bring joy! The groom might say, "Why should I gladden her? Let her gladden me a little too! What, do I have to dance and sing all day? Am I a singer? Am I this? I want to sit quietly! Let her sing a little! Let her bring some joy!" So the Zohar says, no! That is a mistake! It doesn't say "and she shall gladden her husband." It doesn't say "and they shall both rejoice." It doesn't say "and they shall gladden each other." It says, "and he shall gladden his wife." This is his mitzvah! After seven days, he might say to his wife, "Listen, my dear wife, I'm already tired of this. Now you start gladdening me a little." Then he transgresses a positive commandment! He transgresses a positive commandment! He wants a division of labor, he wants equal rights. There are no equal rights in the Torah. In the Torah, there are no equal rights; there are things he is obligated to do, and things she is obligated to do. And each one must perform their role with mesirus nefesh (self-sacrifice). His role is to draw down mochin to his wife. That is his role, says the Zohar, "and he shall gladden his wife." It doesn't say they shall gladden each other, it doesn't say they shall rejoice together. It says "and he shall gladden his wife." The man must draw down mochin to the woman. He needs to have a mind! He needs to learn a lot of Gemara to have a mind! Because if he doesn't learn Gemara, he won't have a mind! He needs to start learning at 9:00 in the morning, his eight hours. Whether it's until 1:00, and then from 3:00 to 7:00, the eight hours. If not, he has no mochin! He has no mochin! Many women run away back home after a month. They run home. "What, did we marry a wall? Did we marry a chair? A table? What did we marry?" When they run home after a month, the father comes, the mother comes, they appease them, and so on. But the man must be a father, and a mother, and a brother, and a sister, and a friend, and he must bring joy, and he needs to be everything! He needs to be everything! That is why he is a man! That is why he is a man! She is the Sefirah of Malchus, and he has the nine Sefiros. He must bring joy, and then she will be "a woman of valor, the crown of her husband." If he gladdens her, she will ascend to Keser (Crown). The woman jumps straight from Malchus to Keser, and then she becomes the crown of her husband! "And he shall gladden his wife." It is not written "and they shall rejoice" - together. It is not written "and he shall rejoice." It is only written "and he shall gladden." He must bring joy to the bride. He is obligated to gladden her in this manner. And then, if he gladdens her, says the Zohar, there is joy in all the worlds. He might say, "What do I have to do with this bride? What do I have to do with this woman? We got married! Fine, she fell into the trap, she fell into the trap. What can I do? Can I bring joy all day? Dance? Sing? What can I do? I want to rest a little, sleep a little. I come home, I want to sleep! To rest! To sleep until the morning! In the morning I'll get up and go about my business! We'll barely meet on Shabbos!" So the Torah says, no! If you gladden your wife, you gladden twelve worlds. There are twelve supernal chambers that only receive joy from the fact that the man comes home with joy, with mochin, with Da'as (knowledge). And therefore, "he shall be free for his home for one year." They also give him freedom. What does "free" mean? Free from the king's service, but not free from the service of Hashem! He is free from all the king's duties, free from taxes, free from property taxes, free from poll taxes. He is also free from an optional war. A mandatory war, which is a matter of saving lives, he is not free from! But from an optional war he is free, free. "He shall not go out to the army to wage war," because he must gladden the twelve chambers in heaven. There are twelve chambers, and every month the bride and groom enter a different chamber. The bride and groom enter a different chamber. "Joy is found above and below." Every month they must enter... there are twelve chambers, and every month they enter a different chamber, and there must be joy above and below. "And joy comes above." By gladdening his wife, he awakens joy in heaven. He literally gladdens the holy Shechinah (Divine Presence). Since she is Malchus d'Atzilus, and he is Malchus d'Ein Sof, she is called the Shechinah and he is the aspect of the Holy One, Blessed be He. Every single moment there is joy in the home, there is light in the home, another union takes place between the Holy One, Blessed be He, and His Shechinah. Another union between the Holy One, Blessed be He, and His Shechinah. Therefore, there are dances and circles that we dance all seven blessings. And from this, we must draw down for the entire year, to draw down all the time, to draw down for all of life, all of life. "Fortunate," says the Zohar, "fortunate is the holy nation." Where is there such a Torah? Where are there such mitzvos? Where are there such revelations of secrets? No nation or tongue has merited this! Has not merited such revelations! Such secrets! Such secrets! No nation or tongue! "Fortunate is the holy nation," that this is only revealed to the Jewish people, to the Jewish people. As the Zohar says in Parshas Balak, when the Holy One, Blessed be He... it says, "Hashem came from Sinai and shone forth from Seir to them; He appeared from Mount Paran and came with myriads of holy ones." First, Hashem had to... what does it mean "Hashem came from Sinai and shone forth from Seir to them"? Hashem first went to Seir, right? And what is "and shone forth from Seir to them"? So the Zohar says in Balak, the Holy One, Blessed be He, when He went to the children of Seir (Esau) to accept the Torah, He had a terrible fear: maybe they will accept it? Maybe they will accept it? Heaven forbid, if they accepted it, we would be lost! Hashem went in terrible fear. The Zohar says in Balak, it wasn't for nothing. He went to Seir, He offered them the Torah! And what if they did accept it? Why not? What's wrong with the Torah? There is Shabbos! You sleep, you dance, you eat three meals. So Hashem was afraid. Hashem will bring the Jews back in teshuvah (repentance), but the non-Jews, Hashem was truly afraid, maybe they will accept the Shabbos? Maybe, maybe, Heaven forbid... such joy of a bride and groom, seven blessings, a year to rejoice, such secrets. Hashem had a terrible fear, a terrible fear. So the Zohar says, "Hashem, when You went forth from Seir, when You marched from the field of Edom, the earth trembled." When the Holy One, Blessed be He, returned from Seir, He "shone forth." He returned with such joy that they didn't accept the Torah. With such joy He returned. Heaven forbid, if they had accepted the Torah, what would we have done? "What is meant by 'trembled'?" Earlier, the earth trembled, it was terrified to death. And the same thing from Paran, "He appeared from Mount Paran." He appeared with joy from Mount Paran. With the nations, He immediately showed them something they wouldn't want. But He was afraid, maybe they will say to Him, "Show us something else, let's see, let's bargain. Maybe You have other offers?" If you immediately show a person something not to his liking, he already says, "I don't want it! I don't want it! I don't want it! Leave me alone!" Hashem was afraid maybe they would have a little more sense and say, "Is this all You have to offer? Maybe other things? Come, let's bargain. Let's take part of the mitzvos. If not 'Do not murder', then there are 612 other mitzvos. Let's take 612 mitzvos. They'll say one mitzvah is hard for us, but give us the 612 mitzvos." So the Holy One, Blessed be He, immediately... it was such a joy for the Holy One, Blessed be He, that they immediately told Him they didn't want it. "There is such a mitzvah? We don't want any of it!" Sometimes a person is shown something, they start showing him the thing they know he won't want, they mislead him from Heaven. So the Zohar says: "Joy was found above and below." So the Holy One, Blessed be He, came with such joy, such joy. And it wasn't for nothing. Esau could have said to Him, "Why did You offer me such a deal? This was a bit of a scam." He could have complained later. So Hashem said to him, "Maybe anyway? Maybe anyway? Maybe anyway you'll accept it?" He says, "No! If there is such a thing, I don't want it. I'm done, this whole thing is disqualified for me. I've lost all desire for this whole matter." So Hashem said to him, "Maybe anyway? Maybe anyway?" And several times Hashem tried to persuade him, so he wouldn't say, "You just made me a fake offer, you just lured me, you just tricked me. Why didn't you show me other things?" So Hashem went back, went back every time, went back and went back and went back. Then the Holy One, Blessed be He, "shone forth from Seir to them, He appeared to the Jewish people from Mount Paran... the holy ones." Then the Holy One, Blessed be He, came, He skipped straight to "Do not murder," and He went to the S"M (Satan), the ministering angel of Esau, and said to him, "Maybe anyway you'll accept the Torah?" "What? All my vitality is only wars! What does Esau do? Wars! Conquers countries! If I don't conquer countries, what will I do? I'll go crazy from boredom! What does he have to do? Does he learn Torah? A person learns 8 hours, what does he have to do for the other 16 hours now? He already worked 10 years, he's already going crazy. He goes and makes wars, conquers countries, makes weapons of destruction, dreams of conquering countries. At least he dreams about it. He can't yet, it's impossible to see, because Hashem arranged that the other country would also have the same weapon of destruction, so it's impossible to activate the weapon of destruction. But everyone dreams, maybe anyway the other one will be a little weak, maybe anyway I'll have a little courage. So everyone, all their lives, just dreams of when they will finally go conquer countries. From this he... so this is all the vitality of Esau. Even though in practice we see a world war happens only once in a while. So it was, and it ended in '17, they already started in '39 after 22 years. After 18, after 21 years they already started a world war. Now, thank God, it's been 55 years without a world war. It's impossible to know what will be in another moment. In any case, the dream of a world war, just in this dream, it's such a pleasure, it's such vitality. Esau says, 'I already have this and that, Russia already has 30,000 nuclear missiles, and America on the other hand surely also has 30,000 nuclear missiles. And everyone counts their missiles. And whenever I want, I can conquer the world. And I just have pity, I act beyond the letter of the law, I am a bit considerate of the world, I am a bit... but whoever annoys me, I'll show them who I am.' And just all this nonsense is all the vitality of Esau! This is all his vitality! He has no other vitality! Does he get vitality from a cup of tea?" So Esau says, "This is all my vitality. I dream of wars. If I don't make wars, I dream of wars! From this I live! You want to take this vitality from me? This vitality? So what will I do?" So He said to him, "Maybe anyway you'll accept? Maybe anyway? Maybe anyway?" So he said, "So to whom will I give it?" So Hashem arranged it this way, so Esau said, "Give it to the children of Jacob. The children of Jacob, give it to them!" And he thought in his heart, "For them it will be good. The children of Jacob will accept 'Do not murder' and they won't make wars. And if they make wars, then He will remove them from the world." The Holy One, Blessed be He, said to him, "But aren't you the firstborn? You are the firstborn! You deserve it!" He said, "What? I already sold my birthright a long time ago! And I already conceded the blessings, as it is written, 'And he blessed him there.' And I already conceded the blessings, and the birthright already belongs to Jacob. So Hashem orchestrated that he would once again concede the blessings and the birthright. 'And I already sold the birthright, and I agree that he will be the firstborn, just, just don't give... just, just let them give the Torah to Jacob.'" After that He went... so the Holy One, Blessed be He, said, "Listen, give me advice. Look, you don't want it, you don't like 'Do not murder'. I will go to them, they also won't like something. What, there are 613 mitzvos here. Am I so sure they will accept? You already disappointed Me. Now give Me advice. I am afraid of these Jews. These Jews, I will come to them, I will tell them Shabbos, so they will say they want to go to the beach. Oneg Shabbos (Shabbos delight) is going to the beach! I know what they can say, like the secular people say today!" So they didn't argue this because they had the mochin, they saw the mochin of Shabbos, they saw the Shabbos. But the moment a person doesn't see the mochin of Shabbos, then for him Oneg Shabbos is to drive there, 6 hours to the Kinneret, and roast there in the sun. And the food falls into the sand, and they fight there, and all the children cry and scream, "Why did we travel?" And this he calls Oneg Shabbos. And the steak burns there on the fire, completely burns, hardly anything is left. Everyone knows, everyone just told me exactly how it goes. And after that they have to return 6 hours, and tomorrow, tomorrow they come to work, they don't even know how they are working. Legs get caught in the cars, hands get cut, fingers get cut, they don't even know what is happening. It's not enough that for 6 days he is already exhausted, the seventh day is equal to all the 6 days. It's exactly like the Gemara says, the 6 days... the seventh day is equal to all the six. He was so exhausted, and toiled so much, and suffered so much, all six. Sunday arrives, he doesn't even know what's happening anymore. So nevertheless, they call this Oneg Shabbos. I don't know, there are all sorts of concepts that we are not familiar with. So the Holy One, Blessed be He, says, "I will come to a Jew to accept Shabbos, they will say they want to go to the beach. I know what they can say to Me! So give Me advice to bribe them. I know, I need to come to them with mochin, I need to come show them some lights. I can't just say to them, 'Shabbos! Shabbos!' What, on Shabbos you don't go to the beach? You don't go on trips? What is this? You can't even pick up a phone? What's going on here? So I want to bribe them!" So the S"M said: "Master of the Universe, all the lights that I have," he said, "all the lights that I have, I am giving them to You now. Show them to the Jewish people, give them to the Jewish people. The main thing is that they accept the Shabbos, the main thing is that they accept the Torah. I am stripping off all the lights, I will be blacker than black, I am willing to be complete darkness. The main thing is, leave me alone, give the Torah to the Jews." The S"M stripped himself of all his lights, says the Zohar here, in section 192, Balak, he stripped himself of all his lights. And Hashem came with a bounty of lights, came with lightning, thunder, a bounty of lights. They saw all the lights in the world, and all the lights that the S"M had, Hashem brought to the Jewish people. Because it says, and this is the root, the S"M donated of his own so that the Jewish people would see such lights, Shabbos with such lights, with such experiences, to feel such things that there is absolutely no thought of not accepting Shabbos, not accepting the Shabbos. After that, Hashem went to Ishmael. He said to Ishmael, "Do you want to be bribed? Take the light and give from all the hosts of heaven, and give it to them so they will accept." After that He went to Ishmael... He went to the Arab, He said, "Arab, well, what do you think of the Torah?" He immediately showed him what the Ishmaelites... Hashem have mercy, He showed them, He showed them what He showed them. They said if there is such a thing, they are not willing, not willing! He said, "Why? For what reason? What is it?" He started to beg, He started to beg. The Holy One, Blessed be He, started to beg. He said, "What, I want only you to accept." He said, "No, give it to Isaac, give Ishmael... his brother is Isaac, give it to my brother's children." He said, "Why? But you are the firstborn? You are the firstborn?" "I concede the birthright, I concede everything, just give it to the children of Isaac, not to me! Not to me! Not to me!" So "He appeared from Mount Paran." What is "He appeared from Mount Paran"? So Hashem said, "And what will I do if they don't agree, just like you don't agree? Maybe they also won't agree?" He said, "Take, take, take all my lights, all the bounty of lights that I have, all the lights, and give them to the Jewish people." So the Holy One, Blessed be He, appeared with more lights. He had all the lights of the S"M, all the lights of the Arab, all the lights. They stripped off all the lights, they remained complete darkness, absolute darkness. And all these lights, Hashem appeared with at Mount Sinai. This is "He shone forth from Seir to them." He shone like the sun. He came from Mount Seir like the sun, because the lights of the S"M are greater than the sun. An angel shines brighter than the sun. So "He shone forth," they saw such lights, greater than the sun. Because "and He shone forth," He took all the lights that the S"M had, and with that He appeared. After that, He took all the lights that the Arab has. There were slightly fewer lights there, so He only "appeared," He only appeared. And the light is also called Yifa'as (appearance). The light is called... so He appeared. And not only that, "and He came with myriads of holy ones." What is "myriads of holy ones"? And so He went to the ministering angels of all the nations of the world. Before Hashem arrived at the mountain, to Israel, He went to the ministering angels of all the nations of the world. To everyone He offered what He offered, to everyone He offered the Torah. And everyone found some flaw, that this "Do not steal," and this is like that, this "Do not lie," and this... and in each and every one, this "Do not wrong one another." Everyone just found some thing that didn't suit them. So the Holy One, Blessed be He, also said to him, "So how will I give it to them? Who says they will agree?" So every angel said, "I am giving You all my lights, all my lights, give it to the Jews, just, just leave me alone!" And so Hashem came with a bounty of lights, "He came with myriads of holy ones." He took all the lights of all those appointed over the rest of the people of the world, and so He came with a bounty of lights to Israel. They completely forgot that there is a sea, that there is this, they only saw the lights, they only saw the mochin. And in every mitzvah they saw the lights, they saw the mochin that are in every mitzvah, and the lights that are in every mitzvah. So the Zohar says, "Fortunate is the holy nation, that the Holy One, Blessed be He, reveals to them such secrets." That what is "and he shall gladden"? What are the seven days of the feast? What are the twelve months of gladdening the bride and groom? That the man places the mochin! It is an obligation upon him! After seven days the man might say, "I am already tired, now let my wife gladden me a little!" He says, "No! This is your obligation for the twelve months! And through this you gladden all the supernal chambers. And fortunate is the nation to whom such secrets are revealed, and the Holy One, Blessed be He, rejoices in them, and they are meritorious in this world, and they are meritorious for the World to Come."
A profound article on the secret of the union of a bride and groom, whose spiritual virtue is even higher than Yom Kippur. The Rav explains the inner meaning of the seven days of the wedding feast and the first year of marriage, revealing how the husband's obligation to gladden his wife builds the supernal worlds and draws down abundance for a lifetime.
It is known that the union of a bride and groom in its supernal root is very high. As the author of the Degel Machaneh Ephraim says, the virtue of a bride and groom is higher than Yom Kippur. Therefore, we do not say Tachanun (supplication prayers) during these days, because sins are forgiven on their own without the need for falling on our faces (in the Vidui confession prayer). How are the sins forgiven? By receiving mochin (spiritual intellect/awareness). After all, "a person does not sin unless a spirit of folly enters him," and when one merits mochin, the sins are nullified. The seven days of the wedding feast are essentially seven days of Yom Kippur, a time that is high above high, where no thought can grasp it at all.
No human mind can absorb and understand to which worlds the bride and groom ascend. They ascend to hidden and concealed worlds, exactly like Adam and Eve before the sin. As the Imrei Emes says, they ascend to the light of the Seven Days of Creation, to the Hidden Light, and from there they draw down abundance to everyone in their presence. Throughout all seven days, they draw down an abundance of mochin, through which all sins are forgiven. Every person who participates in the dancing and singing with the bride and groom has his mochin completed, and he becomes a vessel for all the wondrous abundance that descends to the congregation.
The mochin that descend during these days influence the couple for their entire lives. Just as the bride and groom rejoice during these days—not sleeping and not eating, but only rejoicing in Hashem and feeling the supernal union and deveikus (cleaving)—so too are mochin drawn down to them for all seventy years of their lives. Every hour during these days influences many years. As Rebbe Nachman of Breslov says (Likutey Moharan, Torah 49):
"For the light of the flaming heart of a Jewish person is infinite."
The soul of the bride and groom ascends to infinity, up to the Sefirah of Binah (Understanding). The groom himself transforms into Binah, and together they elevate everyone in their presence to the Infinite Light (Ohr Ein Sof).
The Building of Jerusalem Above and Below
The holy Zohar (Parshas Ki Seitzei) says regarding the verse "Hashem builds Jerusalem," that there is a Jerusalem above and a Jerusalem below. The Holy One, Blessed be He, swore that He would not enter the Jerusalem above until He enters the Jerusalem below. The Jerusalem below is called Malchus d'Atzilus (the Kingship of the World of Emanation), and the Jerusalem above is called Malchus d'Ein Sof (the Kingship of Infinity). The union of a bride and groom is essentially the connection between these two aspects.
The man is the aspect of the Jerusalem above, Malchus d'Ein Sof, while the woman is the aspect of the Jerusalem below, Malchus d'Atzilus. When a union takes place between them, a ruin from the ruins of Jerusalem is rebuilt—the Jerusalem above and the Jerusalem below are built as one. If the bride and groom truly merit holiness and purity, they elevate the entire congregation together with them up to infinity, drawing down mochin to everyone.
The Secret of the First Year: Clean from All Desires
The groom's role is to receive the mochin from the Infinite Light and bestow them upon the bride. Regarding this, it is stated in the Torah:
"When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out to the army... he shall be free for his home for one year, and he shall gladden his wife whom he has taken."
Chassidic books explain that the word "free" (naki, literally "clean") means clean from all desires. In the first year, the couple lives only from the Infinite Light and from deveikus to Hashem. Such an immense light descends that through it they are cleansed of all desires. Therefore, this stage is called Kiddushin (sanctification) and not just Nisuin (marriage)—the bride and groom are sanctified in the first year with supernal holiness.
The holy Zohar explains that the secret of the twelve months of the first year corresponds to the twelve oxen upon which "Solomon's Sea" (the copper basin in the Holy Temple) stood. Solomon's Sea alludes to Malchus d'Atzilus, which stands on twelve oxen. The groom is considered Solomon's Sea, and his role is to bestow mochin upon the bride throughout these twelve months.
People think that the first year is a "year of vacation." But this is not a year of vacation at all—it is a year in which the groom is obligated to draw down *mochin*! Every month he receives a completely new mind, and he must draw down these mochin to the bride. The mochin that he draws down to her in this year will fill her for all one hundred and twenty years of their lives.
The Obligation to Gladden the Wife
The Torah emphasizes: "And he shall gladden his wife." The groom might think after the seven days of the feast: "I am already tired, now let my wife gladden me a little. I want to rest, to sleep, let there be equal rights." But the Zohar says that this is an absolute mistake! The Torah did not write "and she shall gladden her husband," nor "and they shall both rejoice together," but rather "and he shall gladden his wife." This is his mitzvah.
In the Torah, there are no "equal rights" in the regular sense; there are roles. There are things that the man is obligated to do and there are things that the woman is obligated to do, and each one must have mesirus nefesh (self-sacrifice) for their role. The role of the man is to draw down *mochin* to his wife and to gladden her. In order for him to have mochin to bestow, he must learn Torah and toil in the study of Gemara. Without learning, he will have no mochin to give her.
The man needs to be everything for his wife—a father, a mother, a brother, a sister, and a friend. He must bring her joy, and then she ascends from the Sefirah of Malchus to the Sefirah of Keser (Crown), and the verse "A woman of valor is the crown of her husband" is fulfilled in her.
The Zohar reveals an immense secret: when a husband brings joy to his wife, he awakens joy in all the upper worlds. There are twelve heavenly halls (heichalos) that receive their joy solely from the fact that the husband comes home with joy, with expanded consciousness (mochin) and awareness (daas). In each of the twelve months of the first year of marriage, the bride and groom enter a different spiritual hall. When he brings her joy, joy is created above and below (ishtakcha chedva l'eila v'tata), and he literally brings joy to the holy Shechinah (Divine Presence).
Every single moment that there is joy and light in the home, another unification (yichud) is made between the Holy One, Blessed be He, and His Shechinah. Regarding this, the holy Zohar proclaims: "Zaka'in ama kadisha" – Fortunate is the holy nation! Where else is there a Torah like this? Where are there such mitzvos and revelations of such secrets? No other nation or tongue has merited these wondrous revelations, which show how the building of the private Jewish home builds and brings joy to all the upper worlds.
Part 1 of 4 — Lesson No. 106