The Secret of the Wise Woman: The Spiritual Power of the Jewish Woman
Class No. 199 | Thursday, Parashas Korach, 26 Sivan 5759 - Class at the Breslov Kollel for Young Men, Part 1 (Continued in No. 200)
A fascinating article on the spiritual virtue of the woman, the special power of speech and prayer given to her, and the husband's obligation to develop her wisdom. Through Torah study and empowering the woman, the entire home becomes filled with vitality and the fire of holiness.
External Appearance Versus Inner Essence
The Gemara in Tractate Shabbos tells of people who never looked at the physical form of their wives. It is told of a certain Torah scholar who would complete the entire Talmud every year and host a festive conclusion meal (siyum). One year, no one came to the celebration, and he, having already reached the age of fifty, turned to his wife and suggested they celebrate together. He had never eaten with her before and had never looked at her. When they began to dance together, he suddenly noticed that she had a hunchback. Out of his innocence, he said, "I did not know that all women have hunchbacks."
In contrast, the Tosafos in Tractate Taanis discuss the question of how much a person needs to find out about his wife before marriage. The Tosafos learn from Eliezer, the servant of Avraham, who said to Rivka: "Please tip your pitcher so I may drink" (Bereishis 24:14).
Why did Eliezer ask this? The Tosafos explain that he wanted to verify that she was not blind or physically blemished. A person needs to know who he is marrying, to be acquainted with his wife, and not to live in detachment. However, true acquaintance does not end merely with external appearance or knowing that she is capable of preparing an omelet and a cup of tea. The deep acquaintance is with her intellect and her inner essence.
From Hashem is a Wise Woman: The Proof of a True Match (Shidduch)
King Shlomo says in Mishlei (Proverbs):
"House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a wise woman is from Hashem" (Mishlei 19:14).
Material inheritance comes from one's fathers, but a wise woman—a woman possessing intellect, wisdom, and understanding—is a direct gift from Hashem. Reb Noson brings in Likutey Halachos, based on the teachings of Rebbe Nachman (Likutey Moharan, Part II, Torah 2), that one of the proofs that a shidduch (marriage match) is true and comes from Hashem is when a person merits a wise woman.
However, the husband's role does not end there. He cannot leave his wife in the exact same state as when he married her, like a "piece of wood" for the rest of her life. There is a supernal "wisdom of women," and the husband is obligated to develop it. He must teach her, send her to Torah classes, and ensure that she advances in fear of Heaven and the wisdom of the Torah. He must teach her halachos (Jewish laws), the prohibition of lashon hara (evil speech), and the path of truth. We see the power of a woman's wisdom with the wife of On ben Peles, who, through her wisdom, saved her husband from death during the rebellion of Korach.
Nine Measures of Speech: The Woman's Power of Prayer
The Gemara says that ten measures of speech descended to the world, and women took nine of them. Rebbe Nachman explains this in a positive and wondrous way: The nine measures of speech of the woman represent the ability to use the power of speech in holiness.
Hashem gave the woman a greater power of speech than the man. A man speaks a little and gets tired, and if he continues to speak, the evil inclination is liable to enter incessantly. In contrast, a woman can recite Tehillim (Psalms) all day, go to the Western Wall, cry, and pray for long hours. She has what to do with this speech in holiness.
When a person gets married, he receives all nine measures of speech that were given to women, and he can fill his power of speech with holiness. Through his wife, he receives infinite powers of speech and prayer—the power to recite Tehillim, to pray, to deliver Torah classes, and to strengthen people. The entire world stands upon women, and through the woman, the husband merits immense spiritual abundance.
Bringing Vitality into the Home: The Husband's Responsibility
For the home to blossom, the husband needs to instill an abundance of wisdom in his wife. When he comes home, he must enter with great respect, with immense joy, and with words of encouragement that will make her happy. He must awaken within her the desire to listen to classes on Torah and Chassidus and to advance spiritually.
If a person is not advancing, he is declining. If the couple does not listen to Torah classes, they may find themselves listening to "classes" from the evil inclination—conversations about beauty, clothes, entertainment, and shopping malls, instead of engaging in the service of Hashem. A woman needs to leave the house to rejoice and refresh herself, as the Mishnah Berurah writes, but this outing must be accompanied by the vitality of holiness.
The husband is obligated to infuse life into his wife. A woman possesses tremendous wisdom, sometimes even more than a man. When she is filled with words of Torah, she passes this vitality onward. When the husband develops his wife's wisdom, she is the one who educates the children to be filled with the fire of holiness. She absorbs the "bren" (the enthusiasm and spiritual fire) that comes from wisdom, and she passes it on to the next generation, educating her children toward a love of Torah and pure fear of Heaven.
Part 2 of 3 — Class No. 199