What to Do When a Thought of Teshuva Comes?

THE DAILY CHIZZUK OF OUR REBBE RAV ELIEZER BERLAND SHLIT”A – RABBI SHIMON SAYS THAT ESAV REALLY WANTED TO RETURN IN TESHUVA.  WHY DIDN’T HE SUCCEED?

“Esav ran to greet him, hugged him, fell on his neck, kissed him, and they wept.” (Bereishit 33:4)

“Esav saw that the daughters of Canaan were evil in the eyes of his father Yitzchak.  Esav went to Yishmael and took Machalat bat Yishmael ben Avraham, the sister of Nevayot, in addition to his wives, as a wife for himself.” (ibid. 28:8-9)

SUNDAY, 24 KISLEV 5783

These are his holy words:

I don’t understand what is happening here.  It’s written: “He kissed him.”

Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai says: He kissed him with all his heart.  Here Esav kissed Yaakov in truth.

Rabbi Shimon disputes the Sages, because the Sages say that Esav kissed Yaakov only superficially, not from all his heart.  Rashbi comes and says: No, this was a moment of true regret.  Esav truly cried.  He said, “Yaakov, forgive me that I wanted to kill you.  I regret.”

It’s written that Esav truly wanted do to teshuva (repentance) – “Esav saw that the daughters of Canaan were evil in the eyes of his father Yitzchak.  Esav went to Yishmael and took Machalat bat Yishmael ben Avraham, the sister of Nevayot, in addition to his wives, as a wife for himself.”

RABBI SHIMON SAYS THAT ESAV TRULY WANTED TO CONVERT, BUT [IF HE DID TESHUVA] HE WOULD AT THAT MOMENT NEED TO GO TO YESHIVA.

You want to convert?  You need to open the Gemara!

The first thing – a thought of teshuva came to you?  Open the Gemara!  Open the Kitzot HaChoshen!

The Kitzot HaChoshen is the easiest thing in the world.  The Kitzot explains the whole sugiya ten times, explains it from all sides – every sugiya from all directions.

A person learns Kitzot HaChoshen, even if he is insane, he is confused – now he wants to make a wedding, he needs to get a billion dollars, a half-million.  Where will I get the half-million?  It will fall to you from heaven!  Don’t worry!

The ceiling will open up…