The Secret of Sweetening the Judgments and Drawing Kindness into the Home
Class No. 113 | Cassette 113 Sunday Morning, 11 Tishrei 5758 - Class at the Yeshiva in the Old City Tuesday Parashas Shoftim, 30 Menachem Av, First Day of Rosh Chodesh Elul 5757 - Opening Class at the Breslov Kollel for Young Men (Continued from 112)
How the supernal tikkunim (spiritual rectifications) of the month of Tishrei operate, and how the building of the mochin (spiritual intellect) and chasadim (loving-kindnesses) of the High Holy Days must find practical expression in shalom bayis (marital harmony), compassion, and patience toward one's wife.
On Rosh Hashanah, terrible judgments are awakened. All the judgments for the entire year are decreed on Rosh Hashanah, because Hashem divided the judgments stemming from the sin of Adam HaRishon (the First Man) over a span of one hundred and twenty years. Every person faces severe judgments decreed upon them, which are distributed across the hundred and twenty years of their life according to their share in the sin of Adam HaRishon. A person must know how to sweeten these judgments. Every Rosh Hashanah, it is decreed what types of punishments a person will endure to atone for the sin of Adam HaRishon, because for this sin, even teshuvah (repentance) alone is not enough. As the holy Arizal states, one must scrape away this kelipah (spiritual impurity) through terrible suffering.
However, it is possible to sweeten these judgments through the melodies and songs of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, and through the songs of Sukkos and Simchas Torah during the Simchas Beis HaShoeivah (the Water-Drawing Celebration). The more a person dances, the more they can sweeten the judgments. The essence of bittul (self-nullification) is dancing, because no person can truly comprehend what dancing is. No prayer ascends until it is played and sung. It is written in the book Maavar Yabok that only melodies can pierce the supernal halls of prayer, and then Hashem accepts the prayers. During a dance, a person is in a state of absolute self-nullification, and only when a person completely nullifies themselves can they sweeten the judgments.
Twenty-Two Days of Rectification
The tikkun (rectification) for the sin of Adam HaRishon is deferred for twenty-two days, corresponding to the twenty-two letters of the Torah. During these twenty-two days, we receive all the mochin (spiritual intellect) that we were supposed to receive on the very first day, had Adam HaRishon not sinned. Now, the mochin are distributed throughout all these days until Shemini Atzeres passes.
According to the words of the Arizal in Pri Eitz Chaim, on the first day of Rosh Hashanah, the Keser (Crown) of Rachel is formed, and on the second day, the vessel of Chochmah (Wisdom) is formed. Through the blowing of the shofar, we merit to draw down the inner essence of the intellect of *Chochmah*. If the intellect of Chochmah is not opened for a person, it means their spiritual channels are blocked. Therefore, immediately after Rosh Hashanah, one must begin to learn Torah, because we have drawn down the mochin of Keser and Chochmah. On the third day, the Fast of Gedaliah, the vessel of Binah (Understanding) is formed, and the intellect of Binah naturally spreads within it without the need for blowing the shofar.
On Yom Kippur, during the Ne'ilah (closing) prayer, the seal of the Sefirah of Yesod (Foundation) is formed. The tzaddikim merit to be sealed immediately for a good life already during the Maariv (evening) prayer of Rosh Hashanah, but most of the world only merits the completion of the mochin during the Ne'ilah prayer of Yom Kippur.
The Descent of Loving-Kindness Between Yom Kippur and Sukkos
The four days between Yom Kippur and Sukkos possess the aspect of Yom Tov (a festival). During these days, everyone is busy building the sukkah and preparing the Four Species. These are days when one should only sing, dance, and pray. During these days, we begin to draw down the five inner chasadim (loving-kindnesses). On each of the four days, a different aspect of kindness enters, from bottom to top: the kindness of Hod (Splendor), the kindness of Netzach (Eternity), the kindness of Tiferes (Beauty), and the kindness of Gevurah (Strength) on the eve of Sukkos. On the festival of Sukkos itself, the kindness of Chesed (Loving-kindness) enters.
Since wondrous kindnesses descend during these days, these are kindnesses of compassion. A person must bring this compassion into their home. As the Maharal of Prague says, when a person comes home, they must come with compassion. The Gemara says:
"Rav said: A man must always be careful not to wrong his wife, for since her tears are frequent, the punishment for wronging her is near" (Bava Metzia 59a).
A person returns home, especially after the fast of Yom Kippur, and sometimes he is irritable. He has fasted, he is hungry, and he complains: "Why isn't the food ready? Where is the knife? Where is the salt?" Usually, most arguments break out at the end of a fast. But the truth is that it should be exactly the opposite. When he comes home, he himself should prepare the food; he should bring the salt. He must be prepared for the fact that his wife has collapsed from the fast, as it is harder for a woman to fast than for a man.
The True Test of "Love Your Neighbor as Yourself"
Young men do not always understand this reality. A young man is used to coming, eating, and drinking when everything is ready and wonderful. When he gets married, he needs to know that this is a responsibility. You come home at the end of Yom Kippur, you are hungry and thirsty, but now you have a wife that you need to care for. Maybe she is weak? Maybe you need to make her a cup of tea? A person must know that when he gets married, he is forbidden to insult or cause hurt.
Rabbi Chaim Vital, in Sefer HaLikutim, brings a sermon for a groom on the verse:
"Man does not live on bread alone, but man lives on everything that proceeds from the mouth of Hashem" (Devarim 8:3).
He explains that "bread" alludes to a wife. The primary fulfillment of the mitzvah "Love your neighbor as yourself" that a person performs is with his wife. With friends, it is no great wisdom to get along; you eat together, buy things together, lend to one another. If you want to be friends, you are; if not, you aren't. But in the home, that is where the true test lies.
The main test of a person is when he comes home hungry, and his wife did not manage to prepare food because she was not feeling well or cried all day, and he must show patience and compassion. Sometimes the wife wants to unburden her heart, and she turns her husband into a "Western Wall." Instead of going to cry at the Kotel, she cries before him. The husband's role is to be there for her, to listen to her patiently, and to draw those supernal kindnesses of the High Holy Days deep into the home.
Part 1 of 4 — Class No. 113