The Secret of Zivugim (Matches): The Immense Spiritual Stature of a Chasan and Kallah and the Chair of Rebbe Nachman

Lesson No. 234 | Cassette 234 Monday, Parshas Vayakhel, eve of 23 Adar I 5760 - Engagement at the Rav's house Thursday, Parshas Vayakhel, eve of 26 Adar I 5760 - Ohr HaTorah Yeshiva at the Rav's house

A profound discourse explaining the immense holiness that descends to the world during the union of a chasan (groom) and kallah (bride), and the secret of their souls which were distanced following the sin of Adam HaRishon (the First Man). Through the teachings of the holy Arizal and a wondrous vision of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, it is revealed how prayers reconnect these root soulmates until the end of all generations.

The greatest holiness and the most elevated concept in the world is a chasan and kallah. In their supernal root, they are higher than high, to the point where "no thought can grasp them at all" (they are beyond human comprehension). No human mind can possibly fathom what takes place in Heaven and throughout all the spiritual worlds when a chasan and kallah unite.

It is brought in Sefer HaMiddos (The Book of Traits, section on Love, 13) that when a couple makes Tena'im (engagement conditions) and establishes a covenant of love, Hashem Himself descends in all His glory. If we were truly worthy and possessed spiritual eyes, we would see how the Shechinah (Divine Presence) literally descends in a cloud upon every chasan and kallah.

The author of the "Megaleh Amukos" (Rabbi Nassan Neta Shapira, the grandfather of Rabbi Pinchas of Koretz) explains the immense secret of a chasan and kallah. He writes that 458,000 myriads of angelic camps descend to them from the heavenly firmament known as Shechakim.

"This is because the word 'chasan' (groom) has a gematria (numerical value) of 458, which is exactly the same as the word 'Shechakim' (ש=300, ח=8, ק=100, י=10, מ=40)."

It emerges that the chasan and kallah are currently situated in the spiritual realm of Shechakim. From the very moment they finalize their Tena'im, every single day for them is like Yom Kippur.

A Few Days of Holiness

The grandfather of the Pupa Rebbe cites a wondrous insight in the name of the "Heichal HaBracha" regarding the verse spoken about Yaakov Avinu (Jacob our Patriarch):

"And they seemed to him but a few days, because of the love he had for her" (Bereishis 29:20).

The numerical value of the words "yamim achadim" (a few days) is equal to the combined value of the two great declarations of Divine unity: "Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad" and "Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuso Le'olam Va'ed". From the moment of the Tena'im, such intense holiness descends that every day is considered like Yom Kippur, which is referred to as "one day in the year."

The chasan and kallah are now surrounded by 458,000 myriads of angelic camps. The Midrash Rabbah (Parshas Vayishlach) comments on the verse, "And he called the name of that place Machanayim," explaining that a single camp of angels consists of "The chariots of God are myriads, thousands of angels." "Myriads" (twenty thousand) multiplied by a thousand equals twenty million angels in every single camp.

Yaakov Avinu merited two such camps, meaning forty million angels. Yet a chasan is surrounded by 458,000 myriads of angelic camps! The entirety of creation, from the Six Days of Genesis, waits in anticipation for this very moment when a chasan and kallah will unite.

The Secret of the Distance and Prayers for Finding One's Zivug

Had the sin of the Tree of Knowledge not occurred, a chasan and kallah would have been born together as brother and sister, like doves that never separate. This is why the verse "Aishet Chayil mi yimtza" (A woman of valor, who can find?) begins with the letters Aleph, Ches, Mem, Yud—which form the acronym "Achim" (siblings)—hinting that at their spiritual root, a chasan and kallah are essentially a spiritual brother and sister.

However, because of the sin of Adam HaRishon, these souls were distanced from one another. Rabbi Chaim Vital explains in "Shaar HaPesukim" and "Sefer HaLikutim" (Parshas Eikev) that nowadays, the greater the physical distance between the couple before they meet, and the more their parents are complete strangers to one another, the clearer the sign that this is a true, root shidduch (marriage match).

The holy Arizal compares a wife to the Manna that fell in the desert, based on the verse:

"And He afflicted you, and allowed you to hunger, and He fed you the Manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know" (Devarim 8:3).

Just as the Manna arrived from a place completely unknown to you and your ancestors, so too is the woman designated for a man. The word "Manna" shares a root with the word "zimmun" (designation or preparation), as in the verse, "And the king designated (vayiman) for them." When the parents from both sides have never met, we know with absolute certainty that this match came directly from Hashem. Such a zivug (match), which is brought together from the ends of the earth, is built solely through an entire year of prayers, heartfelt requests, and tears.

The Heavenly Declaration of Zivugim

When Lavan said to Eliezer, "The matter has come from Hashem," the commentators explain that Eliezer opened Lavan's ears so that he could hear the Bas Kol (Heavenly voice). The Gemara in Tractate Moed Katan (18b) says that every single day a Heavenly voice goes forth and proclaims: "The daughter of so-and-so to so-and-so, the field of so-and-so to so-and-so."

Even before the formation of the child, forty days prior, they announce in Heaven not only whom he will marry, but also in which house he will live, on which street, and what his parnassah (livelihood) will be.

The holy Zohar (Parashas Mishpatim) reveals an awesome secret: How does it happen that a person has difficulty finding his match? Sometimes, a person whose time has not yet come or who is not sufficiently worthy cries and shouts abundantly. As a result, they give him the match of another person, a tzaddik and God-fearing individual, who has not yet prayed enough.

However, when that tzaddik awakens, does teshuvah (repentance), and prays with truth, the match will return to him, and the first one who took the match unlawfully will be in danger. Therefore, when both partners are God-fearing, crying, praying, and clinging to Hashem, this is the true and complete match.

Rebbe Nachman's Chair: The Matchmaker of All Generations

In the book Chayei Moharan, a wondrous story is brought down that occurred to Rebbe Nachman of Breslov in Elul 5569 (1809), about two years before his histalkus (passing away). At that time, they brought Rebbe Nachman a magnificent chair from the city of Tcherin. Following this, Rebbe Nachman experienced an elevation of the soul and saw a Heavenly vision.

In the vision, Rebbe Nachman saw a chair in the heart of the Heavens, surrounded by a flaming fire. Millions of men, women, and children were walking toward the chair. Everyone who reached the chair immediately returned bound with their soulmate, and countless *shidduchim (marriage matches)* were made there.

All the leaders of the generation and the tzaddikim arrived to see the wonder. Rebbe Nachman approached the chair and saw that engraved upon it were all the couples of everyone in the world, until the end of all generations. In a single glance, Rebbe Nachman merited to see all the shidduchim (marriage matches) that would ever be.

At that moment, Rebbe Nachman asked: "What will be my parnassah (livelihood)?" And they answered him from Heaven: "You will be a matchmaker! You will build all the shidduchim (marriage matches) until the end of generations."

Rebbe Nachman testified about himself: "Just as I know the secret of soulmates, no tzaddik has ever known this. I know awesome secrets in this matter that have never been revealed in the world." He revealed that the verse describing the Throne of Glory:

"His throne was fiery flames" (Daniel 7:9).

Holds within it a tremendous secret – the first letters of Korsyeh Shvivin Di Nur (His throne was fiery flames) form the letters of the word Shadchan (Matchmaker). On the Throne of Glory, which is the root of souls, all matches are engraved, and Rebbe Nachman, who merited the highest spiritual attainments, received the role of matching all the souls of Israel until the coming of our righteous Mashiach.

Part 1 of 3 — Lesson No. 234

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