Below is a shiur from Moreinu HaRav Eliezer Berland shlit”a on Parashat Chayei Sarah which explains eloquently why we learn the sanctification of a wife specifically from Efron, and how Efron thought that he was fooling Avraham Avinu:
We learn Kiddushin from Efron – how is it relevant to learn Kiddushin from Ephron? “With money” — we learn Kiddushin from Ephron, because “The price of the field, accept it from me” – so, what was with Ephron? Ephron was certain that he was deceiving Avraham Avinu. Ephron was sure that he was trapping Avraham now in a snare, telling him, “Give me 400 shekels of silver.” This [cave] is the total value of two and a half grushim [pennies]; it is worth a grush. Some dark cave — demons and evil spirits. That’s all there is — it’s like a slope on a mountain; no one wants this place. It was the darkest place in Hebron, and there was fear of approaching it. One had to pay money for someone to agree to take it at all, to get rid of this terrible place. It was frightening to approach the place since Adam and Chava were buried there, so it was scary. So, Hashem arranged such fantasies, a Fata Morgana [a type of complex mirage], such terrifying fears of approaching this place. And they were already looking for someone to take this place. Who would agree to buy this place? So, Ephron was sure that he was trapping Avraham in a snare, in such a giant trap in the midst of demons and evil spirits. There are evil spirits there – they will finish him off already. And Avraham, in the merit of the hospitality to guests which he fulfilled, the fear fled; he entered. He knew that there were demons and spirits, but he entered, he did not fear. He went deep into the cave’s depth, and he discovered Adam and Chava. He discovered Adam and Chava lying down, and he spread his hands over their heads, and they were shining with bright light. So Avraham was already planning: how would he take it from Ephron in a clever way.
He arrived, and everyone said to him, “Bury your dead.” What are you talking about – “Bury your dead?” [Bury] Sarah in a dark and gloomy place? A place of demons and spirits? What are you talking about? Why did you marry Sarah? Are you angry at Sarah? Do you want to take revenge on Sarah? What? You got married and at the end of your lives…you suddenly start to argue, to argue with your wife? Do you want to bury her now in some pit, in some hole? In some place, gloomy, remote, shady and darkness, blacker than black. What, you don’t have anything to do? Some black hole that swallows everything up? So the people of Hebron did not understand; they said to him, “What’s your problem? Don’t you have money? Are you stingy? It’s a shame to waste money on [just any dark cave. You could buy a grave.”] He would receive [a grave] on Har Hevron, there on one of the mountains with a nice grove with beautiful crypts and tombstones. We’re giving you the most splendid place for Sarah. Avimelech, the king of the Philistines, came. Og, the king of the Bashan, came. Even Shechem came. Shechem came to Sarah’s house.
And after this, Avimelech, king of the Philistines arrived; Og king of the Bashan arrived – who didn’t come to this funeral!
“Why are you burying her now in such a gloomy place, in such a crypt? Dark and terrifying and blacker than black? Take the top of a nice hill, a nice grove, a beautiful view. Avraham said, “No.” But why not? What is Sarah’s sin that you are burying her in such a dark and gloomy place? Hashem performed a miracle and exactly an hour earlier Efron became mayor. He [Avraham] said, “You know what? Sarah’s honor is specifically to be buried in the plot of the mayor – this is Sarah’s honor. Not like you think, in some place, [like] some simple Jew, some wealthy porter, [just] because some pretty plot is there. The main thing is to be buried in the plot of the mayor – this is the honor of Sarah, to say that the mayor consented to bury her in his plot.” Then that plot was the most disgraceful, the most isolated, [so] that [Avraham] didn’t care how much money he wanted.
And in this way, the Zohar and Midrash say, he succeeded in outsmarting the people of Hevron into agreeing that Sarah would even be buried in that plot, in such a dark place, which in their eyes was [only] darkness and gloom. This Efron was mayor and in the merit of this, he merited to bury Sarah in this plot. So Efron was certain that he was deceiving Avraham, that he was causing Avraham to stumble. He was now putting Avraham into such a pit, and perhaps Avraham himself would already be finished off inside that cave.
But Avraham knows the real truth, that all the wealth in the world does not compare to this! There Adam and Chava are found! If Efron had known what there is there, he would not have sold it for all the wealth in the world.
Therefore, we say that we learn matchmaking from Efron, because in matchmaking, each person thinks that he is getting the best of the other side, everyone only hears the other side. [In] matchmaking everyone hides his … There it was the opposite; Avraham knew of all the treasures that were there. Then really, this is the real truth in matchmaking, that really each person has treasures. In each man, there are treasures; in each woman, there are treasures, only that we need to remove the dustiness. Rabbeinu says in [Likutey Moharan] Tinyana, Torah 8, that you need to remove the dustiness from the eyes. A person sees sacks, a woman in her husband, a husband in his wife — only lacks. Therefore, there is aish (fire) in a home. If a person sees the treasures, the inner aspect, what there really is in Maarat HaMachpelah, what treasures there are! What treasures! In every match, there is in every boy, in every girl, every Jewish soul, such endless treasures! The Rebbe says that every soul is burning for Hashem. Every soul of a Jew wants to do Teshuva (repentance)! And every Jewish soul, outside of a few Nimrods and such people who incite the people with their media and newspapers; they shove down their throat endless garbage, and may Hashem have mercy. Then [if not for this,] everyone would have returned in repentance already a long time ago! Because the soul of every Jew is a burning soul; every Jew wants purity, holiness, the goodness, the best of the good, the best of the truth.
